(Christmas music plays) [Mark] Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to “What Would You Do For A Million Dollars!” (stammers) There’s not– there’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for a million dollars… [Ethan] You’d do pretty much anything for a million dollars– [Mark] I-I’d do pretty much anything for LESS than a million dollars, a million dollars is a lot of money… [Ethan] What would you do for a wa– [Tyler] You see, a million dollars USED to be a lot of money, [Ethan] A million twitter likes now a billion dollars is like the million dollars of, like, ten years ago. [Mark] Nooo, it’s not
[Ethan] I don’t think that that’s true [Mark] 10 years ago? 2006? [Tyler] No [Mark] A million would be a billion?
[Tyler] 2-2000… [Ethan] 2000? [Mark] That’s sixteen years ago? [Tyler] Yeah sure, we’ll go with that. [Mark] Well, even so, a million is not a billion in 2000– [Ethan] A million dollars is a life-changing amount of money! [Mark] Life-changing amount of money! [Ethan] Like, that is an incredible amount of money– [Tyler] I mean, if you make a hundred thousand dollars a year, thats ten years– That’s not… [Mark] You’re doing– Well, I-I mean you’re not just netting that but you’re– If you’re making a six-figure income, you’re doing wonderfully for yourself. [Tyler] That’s true.. [Mark] So, anyway– but this isn’t the point! What we’re asking is what would we do if there were consequences attached to it and that’s where this game comes into play. Okay! So this game can be played a whole bunch of different ways, but we’re gonna play the version that is kinda like cards against humanity. Each of us has drawn 10 golden cards and HE will be the first judge, so when HE plays, he’s going to play a black card and read it aloud to everybody here And then WE are gonna try to come up with the absolute worst combination to go with that specific card And he’ll pick his favorite And just to mix things up, maybe we should have a random card thrown into it? [Ethan] A rando? [Tyler] I’m fine with that. [Mark] (stammers) I like rando combos… [Tyler] I like “rando” [Mark] Yeah– if he picks the random one, we’ll have to do a punishment. Basically, if random gets picked, then the two players who didn’t go will pull a Christmas cracker and then whoever loses gets punished! How’s that sound? [Ethan] That sounds great to me! [Mark] Sounds ‘Christmassy’? [Ethan] Can I even eat those? [Mark] They’re not food… [Ethan] (begins laughing) I’ve never done one of those! I literally thought they were food! [Mark] (judgementally) WOOOOOW [Tyler] Ethan gets punished! [Mark] Ethan’s gonna get punished! [Ethan] (continues giggling) (stutters) I had never done one of those and I thought that they were food! [Mark *puls Ethan closer*] No! Christmas cracker does not mean food! It’s not a cracker. [Ethan] (laughs) [Mark] Jesus.
[Tyler] Are we– are we ready? [Mark] Yes. [Ethan] Yeah. [Tyler] The first card: “Million dollars but every time you get lost or need directions…” Does that mean every time I use my phone GPS? [Ethan] Yup. [Tyler] Since technically, that’s getting directions– [Mark] Yep, that would– that would be a thing. [Tyler] Well fuuuuudge, that’s a lot since I moved. [Mark] Now pick them up, shuffle ’em up and decide which one you like. [Tyler] Every time I get lost or need directions, “You must go to the nearest major road, hitch hike and go wherever the driver takes you.” [Mark] Oh, that’s oddly appropriate [Tyler] (slightly laughing) That is oddly appropriate! (reading card) “Everything you own shrinks to a quarter of its normal size for 24 hours.” I would be a lot of naked [All] (begin laughing) [Mark] And if you’re in your car… [Tyler] Oh god, no! I don’t want– [Ethan] Your car shrinks? [Mark] Yeah [Ethan] Oh no! [Mark] (giggles) [Tyler] I mean, to a quarter of it’s normal size– Mine wouldn’t be that bad; the vehicle, at least [Mark] Yeah, but you’re a big hulking man– [Tyler] I know! Oh God… [Mark] –you’d get squooshed. [Tyler] You have to read… “mean campuff”? [Mark] Wow, Mein– “Mein Kampf.” [Tyler] “Mein Kampf.” I don’t even know what that is. [Mark] That’s Hitler’s uh, book… [Tyler] OH-KAY! (reading off card) I-In public! It didn’t say out loud! It didn’t say out loud! Cool. [Ethan] No? [Tyler] Ooh… [Mark] ‘Kay, which one is the– absolutely the worst? [Ethan] That’s lot of options there [Mark] Yeah, three whole options there. [Ethan] But only one is the worst. [Mark] Yeah. [Tyler] This one’s not it because I think not reading it out loud is okay. [Ethan] But what if you did have to– [Mark] Just casually in a bookstore, reading “Mein Kampf.” [Ethan] I don’t think it would be that bad! [Mark] Who would really judge you? M-Maybe it’s for a research project! [Tyler] Yeah. Who knows? A lot of naked or– [Ethan] A lot of possible stabbings maybe? [Tyler] A lot of poss- You know, there could be a lot of good stories with this one. [Mark] Yeah, it could be a nice experience [Tyler] So– so I’m gonna say this is the one I wouldn’t want. [Mark] The shrinking one? [Tyler] The shrinking one. [Mark] (noise of champ, presumably) [Ethan] I was the– I was the hitch-hiker one. I thought it was appropriate [Tyler] (while Mark goes “Yaaaay” in the backgound) It was clever, it was clever I got rid of the rando pretty quick. [Mark] Yeah, good job “A million dollars but every time you have– see a store having a sale, you…” ‘You learn exactly when and how someone you know will die.’ That’s actually kind of cool. ‘Someone’s turd will appear in a random place in your home’– There’s a chance it’d be in the toilet! [Mark] There’s a chance!
Tyler] It’s a random place though [Mark] There’s a chance. ‘You have to spit directly on someone and not apologize.’ [Ethan] Ohh that’s mean
[Mark] I mean if that’s someone’s fetish [Tyler] Wait a second, you spit on a lot of people anyway, like Wade and recording– [Mark] And I– and I never apologize, not once!
[Ethan] I think this means like- [Ethan] Like not just spit while you talk but– (makes spitting action) [Tyler] Spit is spit regardless
[Mark] Snort– gather- [Ethan] A nice loogie [Mark] Ah, yes [Tyler] It didn’t say loogie [Mark] It actually be interesting to know exactly when and how someone you know will die I mean it doesn’t say that you can’t influence it yeah it doesn’t say it doesn’t say that it’s locked in time someone’s turd will appear in a random place in your home that could mean it appears in the walls [Tyler and Ethan] oh no that would be bad [Mark] You know you have to spit on someone and not apologize you have a million dollars you could pay them yeah or you could just get a friend that’s really into that stuff and be like hey got a win-win situation here I spit on you, it not so bad I have a million It cool I buy you drink I don’t think I want someone’s turd to randomly appear in my home [Ethan] Nooo [Mark] Nice [Tyler] I was like please think of the wall or the fridge or in your food or [Ethan] Ohh in your food (in disgust) oh that would be so bad The next scenario is million dollars but every time you get angry.. [Tyler] How often does Ethan get angry? [Mark] Probably a lot when playing games [Ethan] You guys have never seen me angry like for real though [Mark] we’re all in [Ethan] Okay even the rando? [Mark] even the rando [Ethan] Good, good [Mark] shuffle that up [Ethan] This is… [Tyler] That’s your deck [Ethan] Nope, that’s mine A million dollars but every time you get angry a fire starts where you’re standing you cannot put it out [Mark] Oh, so you burn to death? [Ethan] (laughing) OIkay. I burn to death? Every time I get angry [Tyler] Or or wherever you are like- [Ethan] How big of a fire is it? [Tyler] -could burn down [Mark] it just says where you’re standing. I mean I guess you could run away.
[Tyler] But-but what happens to wherever you’re standing?
[Mark] Yeah. [Tyler] The could be some devastating- like if you get angry in your office [Everyone] (“Oh no”s, “oh”s, “oh gosh”s, etc.)
[Tyler] You would run out of money really fast. [Ethan] What if I’m- what if I’m like hugging a person [Tyler] OH NO!
[Ethan] (Starts to laugh) [Tyler] Why would you get so angry while you’re hugging somebody?
[Ethan] I dunno! That is weird. [Mark] Yeah.
[Tyler] (Starts laughing) [Ethan] (While giggling) What if I’m having angry sex? (ETHAN N O) [Tyler] OOOOOOOH! OH! [Mark] This hot sex is on fire! [Tyler] This girl is on fire! [Ethan] oooook. Anyways… You have to stick your foot in an anthill [Tyler] Ooo [Ethan] every time I get angry and demonstrate [Mark] I doesn’t say fire ants. [Ethan] ya know yeah I can have shoes on [Tyler] They could be friendly ants [Mark] They could be nice ants yeah [Ethan] Million dollars but every time you get angry you become the number one suspect in a murder case [Tyler] Oh [Ethan] That’s pretty bad [Tyler] That says suspect, that doesn’t mean you get convicted [Ethan] Yeah but that’s a lot of… [Mark] But then they see how angry you are there like that guy don’t look so nice [Ethan] And you gotta deal with all that you gotta go into court [Tyler] But like you could become thought of as an arsonist if you light things on fire. See, there’s a lot of like, criminal things that could happen [Mark] I think we all know which one Tyler’s is [Ethan] Yeah [Mark] But to be honest it’s a murder case in your number one [Tyler] I think we all know which one marks is [Mark] I mean you have to stick your foot in an ant [Ethan] So, it’s not gonna be the ant hill because I think that’s dumb. It’s either between the fire one and the murder one. [Mark] That’s every time that’s a bunch of murder cases [Ethan] That’s a lot of murder cases Mark] Yeah [Ethan] That’s a lot eventually [Tyler] That’s a lot of fire [Ethan] They’re gonna pin me as a murderer because they’re like literal- like 50 times this week 50 murders I’m gonna go with the murder one. Were you the fire one? [Tyler] Of course! You would become an arsonist. You would burn down all your equipment, you would lose all of your money in a matter of seconds! [Mark] Or…or…or [Ethan] It didn’t say how big the fire was. [Mark] Or, he pays someone nearby with a fire extinguisher [Tyler] Or he pays off the cops [Ethan] You can only pay a guy so many times [Mark] You can’t pay him that many times. You pay a guy once and he’s there forever [Ethan] Yeah [Tyler] Million dollars but every time you order a meal [Ethan] Every time you order a meal? [Tyler] See this is interesting because it doesn’t say when somebody else orders for me and it doesn’t say when I cook a meal this this wouldn’t happen necessarily all that often although lately I’ve certainly been ordering quite the meal and part… well I forgot about that aspect. Mark knows about that aspect [Mark] I don’t know what the fuck your talking about [Tyler] I’m talking about [Mark] no context [Tyler] when we have on time we have guests over like for shoots and things like I’m in charge of getting the food so every time I order for those events then it’s like oh fuck all right everytime I order a meal the next time you speak to someone you have to call them a (softly) cunt without explanation [Mark] (imitating Tyler) A….a cunt every time there’s a ten percent chance the water and your next shower will be diarrhea instead oh man……..you have to wax off all hair on your body below the neck [Mark] I mean you only have to do that once I guess [Ethan] Those are all pretty bad [Tyler] No, oh, I mean once it’s done then hair would have to grow back so it wouldn’t necessarily be that bad but that’s pretty bad this is this is only a ten percent chance [Mark] I could take that chance [Tyler] I could take the ten percent [Mark] I could deal with the doodoo shower (all laughing) what’s the harm in that [Tyler] you can always shower again [Mark and Ethan] ya [Tyler] or there might [Mark] Just a few times in a row what the luck….my God [Tyler] I’m sorry but this one’s the winner [Mark] Yes! [Ethan] That one’s the one? [Mark] Yes [Tyler] You have any idea? like [Ethan] That one’s the one [Mark] hey- [Tyler] every-every time any- I talked to a lot of various people I would end up calling my mother this [Mark] yeah and if you’re ordering every time you order [Tyler] oh my God [Mark] thanks cunt (all laughing) [Tyler] like jeez ol’ peas you- I’m guessing you were the diarrhea [Ethan] I was the diarrhea [Mark] yeah, yeah (imitating Ethan) I was the diarrhea (all making fun of Ethan, including Ethan) every time you shower it’s me on the other end ok so we goofed up the camera stopped recording but we still have the audio of it so here’s a play-by-play of what just the fuck happened it’s the buttplug podcast dun dun [Tyler] someone pilfers through everything in your bedroom and that’s just searching through everything yeah that’s interesting Nazis burn down your house (laughing) [Mark] Nazis burn down your house [Ethan] (high pitched) whoa [Tyler] oh these are tough [Mark] so you either have monkeys beating the shit out of ya [Tyler] see this isn’t that bad because I don’t have like anything like people going through my bedroom [Ethan] except for those buttplugs though that’d be kinda depressing [Mark] yeah, your EXTENSIVE buttplug collection I mean it’s a wonder to behold I am impressed every time I see it [Ethan] yeah, there’s so many different shapes and sizes [Tyler] I love how you guys just- [Mark] I had no idea you could make a wooden buttplug [Tyler] I know [Mark] I thought that would be splinters all day long [Ethan] well that’s sort of the the reason that you have it the splinters [Mark] yeah well I mean it’s like a family heirloom you pass it down and like each butt- hole smooths it down (laughs in background) I mean I’m singing and praise about your buttplug collection [Ethan] I’m a big fan of the uh the one that you made like in kindergarten [Mark] yeah that was cute [Ethan] it was like clay (all laughing) [Mark] For your dad [Ethan] Oh my God we put it right in the kiln [Tyler] alright I gotta pick a card dammit [Ethan] the paper mache one was- [Tyler] I would run out of money fast [Mark] you know what my favorite buttplug of yours is? [Tyler] hm? [Mark] It’s the-the engagement buttplug that you’re saving for that special someone and I know that’s gonna make something so happy [Ethan] so happy so happy [Ethan] you really went all out for that one [Mark] yeah [Ethan] it’s a big rock on there, it’s nice [Tyler] I like how my Christmas- I can feel my Christmas tree jiggling (someone whistling) [Ethan] is that a euphemism for something [Tyler] it’s my hat [Mark] No, it’s his Christmas tree buttplug (laughing) [Ethan] oh yeah that’s right i forgot about that one [Mark] jingle jingle [Ethan] it’s very- very festive [Mark] very [Ethan] alright go ahead [Mark] go for it [Ethan] do you crack that one out at parties …..put it right next to the fruitcake (laughing) [Tyler] (reading card) a giant picks you up and swallows you whole then you make the entire journey throughout his digestive system. I feel like that’d be a cool story though be kind of gross but cool maybe [Mark] I don’t think you’d make it very… undamaged [Ethan] yeah [Mark] you’d probably [Ethan] through the stomach acid [Tyler] yeah, that’d be pretty painful [Ethan] you might not die, but you get like burned by the stomach acid so horribly [Mark] asphyxiated [Ethan] you’d probably yeah [Tyler] I mean this is cool so this one’s out [Ethan] suffocated. Then you’d have to come out the giant’s asshole (laughing) you would become a buttplug (all laughing) (laughter) [Mark] It’d be your dream come true [Mark] So now, I’m up to I have four cards [Tyler] I have 5 [Ethan] I have got none [Tyler] (reading card) a million dollars but every time you hear a honk. Oh there’s so many like car alarms that go off and honky oh my god. Every time you time hear a car honk a scorpion appears in the hidden location near me. Get a giant pimple [Mark] (making fun of the way Tyler said pimple) pimple [Tyler] (reading card) giant pimple somewhere on your body that somewhere it could oh- those could be some bad places [Ethan] And that doesn’t say that it goes away it doesn’t say temporary [Tyler] pimples naturally go away it doesn’t say it’s permanent [Ethan] but every time [Tyler] get that’s a lot of pimples [Mark] just go if you ever drive (sound with motion)[Tyler] I could say something really mean but I’m not going to (laughing) [Mark] oh so now you’re not going to say it oh now you’re not going to say go to [Ethan] Say it. Say it. [Mark and Ethan] Go, go [Tyler] (reading card) you have to clean an entire frat house until it’s spotless [Ethan] Don’t read that, tell me, what were you going to say Tyler [Tyler] I’m not- don’t was gonna say that would make me a- giant pimple [Mark] an Ethan. Was going to make you an Ethan is that what you were gonna say? [Ethan] Yeah, you just ruined my channel now you’re basically me once you hear all those cars honks, I get it. Do my intro fucking do it let’s see what you got. Come on Mr. Buttplug- [Tyler] (imitating Ethan) what is up my cranky crew this is crank game plays [Ethan] that’s not my intro [Tyler] whatever that’s my- the thing deal with it [Tyler] (reading card) you have to clean an entire frat house until it’s spotless [Ethan] fast? [Tyler] that’s pretty bad like the Scorpion one isn’t that bad because I picked scorpions out of wood piles in Costa Rica [Mark] I think it’d gonna be interesting if you’re driving and then you’re gonna look around [Tyler] oh no, where is it this isn’t permanent the frat house wins [Ethan] Rando [Mark] Welp. I think the pimple one would be the worst [Ethan] yeah i think so too who’s gonna win [Mark] I am the one (babbling) [Ethan] Ready? One, two, three [Mark] yeah! you get punished [Ethan] I get punished [Mark] here comes punishment. [Mark] you know what this is? [Ethan] I think I do know what it is I don’t like it at all [Mark] it’s called the tennis ball cannon [Ethan] uh-huh [Mark] and uh the idea is that you uh you’re like (Ethan making scared noises) (Mark laughing and Ethan nervously laughing/worried) [Ethan] You can’t shoot me with that! [Mark] I can shoot you with this [Ethan] No! Did you hear how loud that was?! [Mark] Eh, it wasn’t that loud [Ethan] There was so much power behind it! [Mark] (In background of Ethan screaming) Eh, you’re a big baby It’s gonna go through me. [Mark] Nah, it’s not gonna go through you. [Ethan, petrified] Oh nooo! Oh no, this is bad. [Mark] Where’d the other ball go? [Ethan] It’s over there Wait, why am I telling you where the ball is? [Mark] Well, I mean I’ve got a whole pack of like a hundred balls. I’m gonna put three in there this time It’s okay don’t worry about it you’re gonna you’re gonna be a big boy [Ethan] What if it really- that can go up to a quarter-mile! that can shoot up to a quarter mile. [Mark] Alright you know what? you know you know here or I’ll test it [Ethan] You’ll test it? [Mark] either either either this shoots it at you or Tyler throws it at you full strength [Ethan] I mean I want you to shoot at me because I’m scared him [Mark] Exactly, you’re scared of him more [Ethan] I think because he’s a big burly man he should test it to make sure that it doesn’t kill any one [Mark] No! I’ll take it just the same as you you ready for this [Ethan] yep [Mark] alright I’m not going to use a lot of hairspray [Ethan] (gradually getting louder and screaming) Mark, I’m serious. Mark, I’m serious. Mark! Mark! Mark! I’m serious (continues) (Ethan continues now babbling screams/whining) (Laughing nervously afterwards) [Mark] Did any of those hit you? [Ethan] None of them [Mark] Alright, we gotta try again, none of them hit you [Ethan] No! I’m legitimately terrified [Mark] What? Why? Why would you be scared of this? What a baby [Ethan] (in background) Why would I be scared of it? [Mark] yeah whatever [Ethan] because an insane man just holding a rocket launcher. That’s why [Mark] Insane man? Well that’s a little harsh bro you know you should be nicer to me i’m gonna get punished too when you get to shoot it at me [Ethan] I know but I just don’t like that I’m the first [Mark] you’re you’re like a brave explorer frontier of existence (Ethan starting to make skirmish noises again) you’re the first prime (Lots of Ethan making noises) (Mark laughing) [Ethan] That hurts [Mark] Did it? [Ethan] That hurts really badly [Mark] Did it? [Ethan] Yeah, that hurts (Mark laughing) [Ethan] That doesn’t feel good at all It’s like three Tylers in a row just whipping them all at once [Mark] To catch you up, I’m picking now and now to get a million dollars but anytime someone nearby sneezes you grow a unibrow anytime someone sneezes you have to hold on to the last thing you were given for a week [Tyler] does that mean you have to hold in your hand or just keep it? [Mark] I suppose it on your person makes sense [Tyler] That would make sense [Mark] you disappear from a photo taken in the past (oh, oh from everyone) [Tyler] you don’t get to pick which photo that’s kinda creepy [Mark] well I mean for me there’s lots of photos [Tyler] that’s true but what if it’s like a picture with your dad or [Mark] Eh, I’m not the sentimental type I could deal with the unibrow I can deal with the picture i’ll go with I have to hold on to the last thing I was given for the week cause that’s be annoying is that [Ethan] alright my turn and still haven’t gotten a single one. How many do you have? [Tyler] I have six [Mark] He has six and I have four [Ethan] (quietly) fucking… Million dollars, but whenever you touch another human [Mark] whenever you touch another human? [Ethan] Whenever I touch another human. Again, again. At conventions. Every time I touch someone what’s going to happen… you’re about to find out. Stay tuned Million dollars, but whenever you touch another human you must find an actual needle in an actual haystack every time I touch someone else [Tyler] you-you HAVE to do that [Ethan] I HAVE to do that [Tyler] that’s a lot of diving in haystacks [Ethan] a million but I do get a million dollars but i have to i can’t pay someone else to try and find that needle [Mark] I mean you could find more efficient ways to do it [Tyler] that’s true yeah you could send it through a uh [Mark] metal detector you could buy a big needle sifting machine [Ethan] everything you consume must be done Retac-re-r… Fuck. Rectally. [Mark] Wow….. [Tyler] Retactally? [Mark] Retactally [Ethan] Retactally [Tyler] If you’re gonna retact it [Mark] Ok…. [Ethan] So I gotta put everything in my butt. Ok. [Tyler] That’s how you consume it. [Ethan] You must- you must- [Tyler] Oh you want pineapple? Up the butt [Mark] Hey get his feeding buttplug tube [Ethan] It’s got teeth on it (Laughing) [Mark] Denture buttplug Okay. Million dollars but whenever you (messes up reading) but whenever you touch another human you spend the next five minutes in the chokehold of an incredibly strong third grade bully [Mark] and that counts as touching a human [Ethan] yeah that also [Tyler] oh that’s an endless chokehold [Ethan] It’s endless [Mark] So you’d just have a third grader hanging off your (motions) the whole time [Tyler] How strong could that? Is that a third grade? [Mark] It says incredibly strong [Ethan] yeah [Tyler] yeah but for a third grader but [Ethan] it’s still incredibly strong [Tyler] that’s true, that’s human contact- that’s- that’s crazy [Ethan] so that’s….. done gotta choose this one [Mark] You’re done forever [Tyler] I knew that was Mark’s that was a really good one that was really good [Mark] It’s a combo card [Tyler] It’s a- it’s a [Ethan] I just have to live in a hamster ball for the rest of my life [Mark] He still has none [Ethan] Still don’t have any [Mark] Still has absolutely none. And you may notice that the crackers missing that’s because he picked the rando and then we pick cracker and then I lost so i am have to be punished here it is [Mark] I’m excited *chuckles* [Ethan] You’re excited? [Mark] Yeah, the test fires were really wimpy. That one The one that actually hit you, luckily, was like a lot of oomph. Yeah [Ethan] A lot of oomph? [Mark] A lot of oomph [Ethan] Ok [Mark] it was like I think the perfect combination was like three dabs like (shooting noise) and then quickly close it And there you go [Ethan] I need three dabs [Mark] We’re going now aren’t we? [Ethan] Well Mark, I did three dabs of hairspray so how ’bout you give me three dabs real quick [Mark] okay yeah. Oh god (Laughing) [Ethan] That was right into your ass [Mark] Right in my ass. Didn’t hurt though. Didn’t hurt that much [Ethan] That didn’t hurt? [Mark] I think that was a wimpy shot so go again [Ethan] Alright we’ll do it again [Mark] Alright. Oh boy. Oh boy [Ethan] Okay Mark [Mark] My butt is clenched [Ethan] Yeah! That was good. That was real good. That does not feel nice [Mark] Oooooo. I am the one [Ethan] I am the one [Mark] Oh, ow [Ethan] Do you- Was pain inflicted? [Mark] Yeah, my butt Oh, I had to go through his whole buttplug collection. All nine thousand of them [Tyler] that’s a lot! [Mark] That’s a lot! [Ethan] The whooole thing [Ethan] it was a labyrinth filled with buttplugs and you had to get to the end [Mark] I know right but i did it [Tyler] it was great that we pause the video so we could run to the house and get that buttplug collection [Mark] I’m really impressed by it yeah I thank you guys for the dedication [Tyler] or actually that was just my travel buttplug collection [Mark] oh you have more? Tell us [Ethan] what’s your favorite [Mark] what’s your favorite [Tyler] the one I made for my dad [Mark] I can feel the love for him so anyway, that was million dollars but a pretty fun game and I think we also should play cards against humanity is I think that yeah and I know you guys like it so what would you do or not do for a million dollars let us know down in the comments below thank you Ethan thank you Tyler and…. as always, we will see you, in the next video BUH-BYE!!!

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Dennis Veasley

49 thoughts on “What Would You Do For A MILLION DOLLARS?!”

  1. This game was given to one of my friends as a gift, we tried playing it and couldn't find out what was fun about it. We then tried getting drunk as fuck and playing it, still wasn't enjoyable or funny; We eventually said fuck it and threw the game away, then decided to play Skip Bo because that's actually fun…

  2. Is calling someone a 'c*nt' really serious in the US? It can be used as a term of endearment in the UK, I call my boyfriend a 'c*nt' when he is being playfully annoying…Its one of the nicer swears here haha.

  3. 6:28 technically someone else could put it out
    The card said that YOU can’t put it out.
    So just have a friend with you whenever you do something rage inducing

    Listen I know I’m two years late shut up

  4. Even if you had a fire start where you are standing and couldn't directly put it out doesn't mean you can't put it out. Let me explain. Say it's a really small fire, smaller than your hand and you could just put a jar over it that way all the air would be used and it would go out. You technically didn't put it out directly you just did an action that caused it to go out. Or, you could remove all objects that could catch fire away from the small fire and it would just burn itself out. Or you could just pour water on the floor wherever you're standing when you begin feeling angry so when the fire starts where you standing it starts on top of the water and immediately goes out again

  5. The "Butt Plug Podcast" is so funny bc it's up to ur imagination to think about what their doing 😂😂😂

  6. The fact that he calls mark "an insane man with a tennis ball launcher ." And is still more scared of Tyler is still hilarious to me

  7. Here's the thing "cunt" in Australia isn't bad so they could say cunt in an Australian accent and it'd be fine.

  8. The differences
    Mark: the only difference is the hair
    Ethan: the only difference is the hair

  9. "their was so much power behind it"
    "its gonna go through me"
    "mark im scared"
    "mark mark mark'
    ethan grunting as mark approaches
    "that hurts "
    oof i loved those moments

  10. When you missed one sentence.. Focuses back on the video… Hears them talking about butt plugs… 😂

  11. 0:24 basically what Tyler is saying

    “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars.”

  12. The canon wasn’t a good idea he could have herniated a disk really bad, he could have gotten a spinal fracture, or dozens of other conditions such as neurological swelling.

  13. Holy fuck. Mark! The fear in Ethan’s voice! That is legit more evil than warfstashe. What the shit is Ethan okay?!

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