Hey, as far as I’m concerned,
this Saturday night there’s not even going
to be a fight. I’m going to mercy
kill this old man. Derek is very good person,
but soon he will learn manners. I will torture his body so that
he so learns to be humble. I’m going to dance around him while he’s trying to hit me
with his cane. Old man. God chose me for this fight.
God is the teacher. Derek is the student,
and I am God’s instrument. When I squeeze your lungs,
Derek, and you beg me for life, then your heart
will open up to the Lord. I’m going to knock him out
round one, bitch. Wait, what did he say again?
He said God chose him. That doesn’t even
make sense really. When you eat through
plastic tube, when you are paralyzed
from neck down, then your family will gather
around your hospital bed to see the new Derek. Okay, he know we just
talking here, right? I mean, we just getting people
interested in the fight. Because I’m sorry. Is this
[bleep] crazy? God’s lessons are so beautiful. God’s lessons are beautiful.
I’m sorry. Who put this fight together?
This is a … Well, if y’all got a actual
crazy person for me to fight, well, that’s not fair
to me or him. [foreign language] What you mean
you can’t find him? Well, where is he?
Yo, man, where my manager at? Steve, how’s that-

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “Ultimate Fighting Goes to the Next Level – Key & Peele”

  1. Just messaged the script to some kid on ps4 throw in some improv and something i saw on comment awards he started to say he was a cop then he said he called the cops

  2. God is the teacher he is the student and i am God's instrument, wait what did he just say? he knows we are just doing this for the fight right 🤔😭😂😂😂😂😂

  3. 😂😂😂… Watched this clip like 20x last night. Woke up This Morning lower Ribs sore asf😂😂
    …And Damn if I'm not back again 😂😂😂 "…Gather around the hospital bed to see the New Derrick"🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    He said it so they gotta do it///I saw that one /nevermind ,but I shou be funny //haa/ amen

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