Size 16s! I’m loving this! Ohhh, right on the buzzer! Hey, good to see you. Mats! What’s all this about then? I haven’t got a clue what’s going on. Obviously I have tried to pick something out where I cannot be beaten. If I were to play against Demond Greene, I definitely wouldn’t lose. But I have brought him along as a shooting coach. Size 11s! When he stands on your foot on the pitch, you know about it. 46! Has number 5 already been taken? No, 5 is available! Guess that means I’m in the team! Do you want it hanging it up in the arena so that no-one else can take it or something? You never know when you might need someone to swop in from the sidelines at the last second. So, time to get changed. Make sure you keep the camera on Müller! Fine by me, I’ve already been working out for summer! What I’m going to do now is warm the boys up with some ball handling and leg work. Ready? Then take two balls each. Mixing things up is what I do. So, now we’re warmed up, it’s time for the challenge! Here are the rules. Ready, set, go! I’m liking these. I’m liking these. I’m loving this! Unbelievable! Always under pressure. Two! Yes. Great shot! I’m not liking these. Good job. Nice! Oh, eight seconds left. How long now? 3,2,… Get in! Ohhh, right on the buzzer! That could be crucial. We’ll have to have another look at that. You guys didn’t see it, but I was phenomenal in the practice run! Go! Son of a… Keep shooting like that. Looking good! Oooooh! One! Four! Six! Eight! You need all three to win! Yes! Told you. Wasn’t happening. Nope, not today! Some bad luck and then at the end it was clear I need to hit the gym. Does that look like the face of a winner to you? No, ladies and gentlemen, it does not! It’s a clear win for me at basketball. I’m out. You can do this crap without me! What did you make of that as a pro? Would either of us make the team for the playoffs? Yeah, you were great and I’m way off the pace. Mats, you obviously have the nose for it! I think you’ll find my nose is superior! True. He is just better at basketball! I have already said to Thomas, we’ll put some practice time in and then next time he’ll definitely beat you. We can do revenge. I can live with that. Yeah, but then we should do low-post. I’m more suited to that. Shimmy, shimmy, left, right, and then bam. Then you’ll see.
Everyone so knows what you’re on about… If you’re in-the-know, then you know! All this shooting from distance malarkey… What’s missing from modern basketball is players getting into the zone more. It’s not all about the three-pointers. Mark my words! Right, I’m now off to the arena to practise for the next five hours. As you can imagine, Müller is obviously vastly superior in a 1v1 physical battle… I’d be in over my head.

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Dennis Veasley

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