[sobbing] This can’t be the end. She’s too young to depart this world! Stay strong, Hank. She’s in good hands. [Hank sobs] I can’t watch! -Agh!
-[phone ringing] Will somebody answer that? Ben’s phone. Ah! Ms. Vanthrax. Ms. Vanthrax? Ow! -Ben is very busy–
-Give me that! Hello, hello, hello? [coughing] Benjamin! -Oh, Velma, you sound awful!
-I’ve come down with a cold. Aw. Now, the class needs to decide
on a project for next week’s science fair. I was wondering if you were free. M-m-me? -[applause]
-Woo-hoo! Yeah! [kids cheering] -It would be an honor!
-Oh! Excellent! Now, it’s not for amateurs.
So, no baking-soda volcanos! -[coughing]
-Understood. I want that first-place ribbon, Ben.
I want it bad. -[coughing]
-I won’t let you down! -Ben, you have to fix the fridge!
-Maybe later. I have a class to sub! Wait! Don’t leave her like this! [sobs] ♪ Wa-oah! ♪ [school bell ringing] Ms. Vanthrax sure was mad at you
the other day. Hey, I just left my skateboard
in the hall. She’s the one who decided to slip on it. -Ben?
– Hm. -What are you doing here?
-I’m your substitute teacher! As you may have heard,
Ms. Vanthrax is home sick. [both] Yay! -[horn blows]
-OK, take your seats! Man, we just hit the jackpot!
Ben’s not a real teacher. -He’s just a guy!
-[Ben clears throat] Our goal is to come up with an idea
for the science fair. I’ve printed information on some exciting
fields to pique your interests. -[dramatic organ chords]
-[Ben] Micro entomology! Xenopaleontology! Botano-minerology! Are your interests piqued? Eh? [Ginger giggling] -Ginger?
-Huh? Are you even listening to me?
What did I just say? -Uh, there’s a fair… and interest?
-No, Ginger! The fair is extremely important!
We need to come up with an idea! -Just make a volcano.
-No volcanos! Come on. Cut the mean teacher act.
It’s me, ya boy. -[klaxon blaring]
-Grrrr….. That’s it!
You just lost your class their recess! -[kids gasp]
-Wait, what? You can’t do that! I just did! And if anyone has a problem with that,
you can thank “ya boy.” Aw… [ratchet clicking] Let’s face it, Tom. We have to eat
all the food before it spoils. OK. I think I’m getting somewhere. Why don’t I call my neighbor, Mike?
He fixed my air conditioner when it broke. Ow! Mike? Why didn’t you call me
to fix your air conditioner? -[belly laughing]
-What? -What’s so funny?
-No offense, Tom. It’s just… -Well, you’re not really a handy man.
-Oh, yeah? Watch this. See? The coolant tank is almost empty. -Yeah, that’s a bagel spread.
-Oh. Huh. And it is almost empty. [snoring] Hey! -[phone ringing]
-Ms. Vanthrax! I’m going to take this in the hall, and when I get back I want to hear
some good ideas for our project! [door shuts] You’re gonna pay for this. [whimpers, screams] Oh, no. They’re behaving. -I just had to show them who was boss.
-[Ms. Vanthrax] Excellent! That first-place ribbon
is as good as yours! [Ms. Vanthrax] Hm. Well, I hope so. I’m going back to sleep now.
Don’t screw up! -I can make this right. I promise!
-Oh, yeah? How you gonna do that? I’ve got a plan. All right, class. Let’s see what
you’ve all come up with for the science– Uh… Uh… fair. Sorry, Ben. It was you or me. [yells] Attack! [slow-mo] Attack! Aaagh! [Ben groans] You see, Angela? Good as new. Hm? [Tom] Oh. We should have called Mike
when we had the chance. Those little savages! How dare they
disrespect an educator like this? Hey, Ben? You have something on your face. And, uh, most of your body. Ms. Vanthrax is going to come back
to a class that hasn’t even started
the science fair project. [groans] I’m a failure. A failure! Hm. Ben, sounds like you might need
my help even more. You don’t know these kids, Tom.
They’re monsters! When it comes to dealing with monsters,
you might say I’m pretty “handy.” -Uh!
-Fine. I guess we could try to fix this? [school bell ringing] Are you sure about this, Tom? Just follow my directions
and say what I tell you. Oh, and be cool. [distant yelling] [rock music playing] [rock music stops] Mmmm… Yeah! -[crash]
-[kids gasp] Easy. Pull it together, buddy,
or you’re going to lose them! So, have I got your attention yet? Excellent. Now, what do you want to learn
about today? No wrong answers. -Um… math?
-Wrong! What do you really want? Um… video games? Great! Let’s play video games! [cheering] [bleeping] [hums] [hums] [cheering, laughter] Great job, Ben! Keep it up. -The day is almost over.
-What? -But we haven’t even started the project!
-Huh? Right, right, OK.
I should probably mention, cool teachers don’t get a lot done. [screams] Aagh! Oh, no! [panting] Class, we mustn’t neglect
our science fair project! Everyone get some graph paper– Science stinks! Science stinks!
Science stinks! -Quiet! We’ve goofed around all day.
-Science stinks– So now we’re doing this project,
whether you like it or not! [booing] Hey, Ben, here’s what we think about you trying to get serious
about learning all of a sudden! Nooo! [laughter] That was pathetic. -It’s not my fault! The paper cheated!
-The paper never had a chance, Ginger. The aerodynamic forces on that thing
are totally off balance. [Ginger] Whoa! Wait.
Science can make paper airplanes better? [kids] Oh! [cheering] [door opens] -What is going on here?
-Velma! You’re feeling better? I was, until you turned my classroom
into a rumpus room! -But I–
-You should be ashamed of yourself! Excuse me, Teacher Ben. I need to improve the arc
of my plane’s flight path. -What can I do?
-Hm. It looks like you’re forgetting one of
the four major forces that act on a plane. Remember… [gasps] This can’t be!
After all these years! Oh! I’ll increase my wing span
to get more lift. [“Air on the G string” by Bach] Oh! I’ve never seen children
so eager to learn! Excellent work, Benjamin!
Excellent! [cheering] [Tom chuckles fondly] Well, guys, seems like Ben did– What? -How’d you do that?
-Easy-peasy icy-creamsy. Huh. All right. -[humming]
-[Angela giggles] Thanks, Mike. I owe you one.