“There’s a lot of beauty
in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” When you think of the most iconic
“Girls Next Door” of modern times, near the top of that list
has to be Pamela Beesly, the girl-next-desk to her shy,
regular guy admirer, Jim Halpert. The girl next door has
long represented an unassuming, everyday beauty, wholesome values,
and a down-to-earth outlook. “Maybe you’re too glamorous. Take me, I’m more like
the girl who lives next door.” But girls next door in Hollywood have hardly been truly average
in any way. More often the trope is a way to make
an exceptionally attractive actress feel attainable, unthreatening. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna wake up
and I’m gonna be Joey. Just Joey, you know? The too-tall girl
from the wrong side of the creek.” The Office does two revolutionary things
with Pam. First, it actually makes her normal
–to an extreme. “It is the whitest sneakers award! Because she always has
the whitest tennis shoes on.” Jim (and the viewers) fall in love
with her because she captures what’s amazing about being
a regular person. “She’s so great.” Second, rather than looking at Pam primarily through the eyes
of her male admirer, the show digs into her psychology, maybe even more than
any other characters on the show. It studies the effects
of this extreme normality on her mental health. Here’s our take on why Pam’s commitment
to normality is her strength, her downfall, and her burden to overcome. “It would just-just make my heart
soar if someone out there saw this and she said to her self
be strong, trust yourself, love yourself, conquer your fears.” Before we go on, we want to talk about
this video’s sponsor. Skillshare is an online learning community where you can learn everything
from video editing to business strategy, coding, or lucid dreaming. They offer over twenty-five thousand online
classes from famous teachers at the top of their field, and right now, Skillshare is offering
our viewers two months access to all their classes for free. Just click the link in the description below
to sign up now. TV viewers are used to women onscreen
being impossibly glamorous, super sexy, or impeccably intelligent
–often all three, and maybe an athletic badass, too. “Need a hand?” “No thanks. I’m good.” So it’s hard to overstate how bold
and refreshing The Office’s approach to Pam still feels. “If you’re using more than three pieces
of tape to wrap a present, you’re doing it wrong.” It carefully avoids idealizing her, instead using her to represent a real woman and highlighting her normality as part of
what makes her wonderful. “I mean, it’ll just be cool to just have some after work clothes
that aren’t pajamas.” Pam’s likability is the same reason The Office continues to have
such enduring resonance with audiences. This show proves that, actually, audiences want stories that investigate,
study, and celebrate normal, without caving to the temptation that
almost all onscreen stories do to make life more exciting “I think an ordinary paper company
like Dunder Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary.” And nowhere is that exploration
of the regular deeper and more accurate than in the character of Pam. “Normally, I find Pam to be a comforting,
if un-arousing, presence around the office. Like a well-watered fern.” When she went for the role,
the clearly beautiful Jenna Fischer said she was told by the casting director: “She said please look normal. Don’t make yourself all pretty,
and dare to bore me with your audition. Those were her words: ‘dare to bore me.’” Pam is not cool. “We have good give-and-take. I give, he takes.” And she’s decidedly not stylish. “Boscov’s at the Steamtown Mall?” “It sure looked good on the mannequin.” “Well, you have good taste.” “Pam, run a comb through your hair.” So the show made it very clear
from the beginning that Pam is as normal as normal can be. “Do you still have the plans for
the dream wedding you couldn’t afford?” “That was our dream wedding.” But the interesting thing that happened
as the show took off is that this normality itself actually made her
aspirational. “You’re the best.” “I kind of am. It’s crazy.” Seen through Jim’s eyes, Pam’s friendly, perceptive, funny
personality made her more appealing than plenty of other women who might score higher
in typical metrics of status. “You are like the new and improved Pam. Pam 6.0.” When The Office opens, we meet an ensemble that’s full of nutty,
zany over-the-top types, while Jim and Pam are the two normals, which comes out in the fact that
they see the others around them clearly. This might make us think of what the expression “down to earth”
actually means. It’s being grounded and realistic, not having your vision clouded
by pie-in-the-sky illusions. Eventually, though, Pam comes to feel
too tethered to the earth. “Dreams are just that. They’re dreams. They help get you through the day.” She might benefit from
dreaming a little bigger. “Real art takes courage, okay,
and honesty.” “Well, those aren’t Pam’s strong points.” “Yeah, exactly. That’s why this is motel art” “The company is offering
a design training program in New York.” “Well, I have a job right now,
so I can’t really take time off.” While Pam embodies all these
really healthy aspects of normal, over time, clinging excessively
to an idea of normalcy is also her great flaw. Some of what she tells herself
is satisfaction with normal is, in fact, apathy. “It’s just that the weekends aren’t good
because, um…” “There are always a million reasons
not to do something.” Nothing happens quickly for Pam. It can take a lot of agonizing,
and years of unhappiness, before she’s motivated to change “Jim was 5 feet from my desk,
and it took me four years to get to him.” Apathy manifests as an absence
of positive feelings and interests, and a hopelessness about the future. It’s a response to disappointments
and the belief that you’re not good enough
to overcome obstacles. Pam spends most of her time
in a state of inertia, always ready to settle. “And if he never comes back again,
that’s okay. We’re friends. And I’m sure we’ll stay friends. ” She believes that
because she’s not special, she doesn’t deserve
to be treated especially well. She starts season one
with cripplingly low self esteem. She’s normalized disrespectful behavior
from her fiancé, Roy, that shouldn’t be seen as okay. “Man, I would be all over that
if I wasn’t dating Pam.” “And when I went to the bathroom, the game ended,
and they forgot about me.” “That’s a joke.” “No, they had to come back for me.” As the show goes on, she endures a series of setbacks that she classifies as personal failures. “I’m not an artist
and I’m not a salesman, so what would you call it?” There are many possible explanations
for how Pam first became apathetic, but the daily office environment
we observe is clearly a big factor that exacerbates this tendency in her. When we first meet her, she’s been working at Dunder Mifflin
for six years, “Uh, Pam has been with us
for forever, right, Pam?” and she’s become institutionalized. “These walls are funny. First you hate them. Then you get used to them. Enough time passes…
you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized.” The way she’s treated signals to her that receptionist work
is not important or worthy of respect. Even though she’s widely liked and
indispensable to the people around her, she’s rarely thanked or applauded. “I would never say this to her face, but she’s a wonderful person
and a gifted artist.” “What? Why wouldn’t you say that to her face?” But look at how much Pam actually does
for this office, often above and beyond
her job description. She instigates bonding activities, “Did I wake up this morning
thinking I’d be throwing together a bird funeral?” irons out problems, “I tore my scrotum. I need you to take me to the hospital.” offers total support to those in need
without being asked, “Remember how it felt
when he cheated on you, though?” “Which time?” and absorbs the worries
and troubles of others. “Pamela Beesly-Halpter
is my best friend.” There’s a word for the unappreciated
work Pam does around the office: emotional labor. “Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. And our deal is that
it’s up to me to revive him.” This term was coined in the 1980s
by sociologist Arlie Hochschild, and she used it to mean the act of “performing or deliberately obscuring
emotions at work.” So far, so Pam, right? “Michael, do you remember, you specifically told me to
only bring one sheet of paper. You said that it only takes
one sheet of paper to make a difference, and I said, ‘Are you sure, Michael?”
and you said, “Pam Pam Pam.” “Uhh, I don’t.” “Okay. I’ll go look for another one.” Since then, the term has come to
encompass broader emotional work including acts of feeling,
listening, communication, and caring. “Got you this card. When you’re ready, we all signed it. We just wanted you to know
we’re thinking about you.” Things like remembering to
call elderly relatives, comforting a friend who’s upset, checking in on neighbors. “Go up and check on him. He’s upset.” “You know he’s doing all this
on purpose.” “Please? Just make sure he’s okay.” It is almost always unpaid and,
not exclusively, but often undertaken by women. Pam’s role as the Office’s human glue,
a sounding board, an emotional support worker,
the provider of gentle nudges, is a classic example
of someone taking on the lion’s share of emotional labour for a group. “Michael! Michael! Hey, hi, I’m just coming out
to see what you’re doing and maybe stop you!” So because most of the great stuff
Pam does has no value or compensation attached to it, she internalizes a feeling of
worthlessness that’s very tough to shake. “It’s just, I don’t think it’s
many little girls’ dreams to become a receptionist.” Making the problem worse is
all the casual workplace sexism Pam endures. “Pam Beesly, office hottie. She will do you.” “If you think she’s cute now, you should’ve seen her
a couple of years ago.” What’s incredibly realistic
and powerful about how the Office portrays this situation
is that nothing ever comes of it. “Pam Pam and her pam pams. Wow, I have said some crude things
about those.” The harassment is more or less constant. “Usually the day we talk about
sexual harassment is the day that everyone harasses me as a joke.” So we can see why Pam feels that to object
to any one instance would be futile, and instead ends up normalizing
this behavior. “I don’t have my contacts.” “Bla bla blah, I can’t even hear you. It’s like noise coming out
of an ugly scientist.” The picture we often see onscreen
is an impossibly beautiful woman being appreciated for her looks, so it’s easy to fall into the assumption
that, even if it’s annoying, this kind of attention
gives a woman confidence. The Office shows that’s a myth. Pam is worn down
by the onslaught of scrutiny. “Well I remember
why I dress the way I do at work.” Pam’s looks are subject to
a constant commentary, as everyone feels entitled
to weigh in and evaluate her. “She’d probably be a six in New York
but she’s like a seven here, in Scranton.” It’s a very recognizable situation. When a woman is labeled “attractive,”
a debate frequently ensues about how attractive or not attractive she truly is. “She looks like a monster.” “Guys, she is a beautiful movie star,
so maybe we should just go to work.” “She’s not hot.” “Who thinks that Hilary Swank is hot,
raise your hand.” Over the show’s run, the sexual harassment towards Pam
gradually dissipates, as she becomes a mother and ages out
of the category in which women are deemed fodder for this kind of analysis. “You were at your most attractive
when you were twenty-four with a slight, gradual decline and a steep drop-off
when you got pregnant for the first time. Gradual recovery and, uh, well now,
obviously, you’re at an all-time low.” It’s no coincidence that,
as she’s sexualized less over time, she gradually starts to
stick up for herself and go after what she wants more. “There are a few ways to get promoted. One is to wait for an opening for it. That’s the main way. But this could work.” Punctuating Pam’s resting state of inertia, something fierce
periodically surfaces in her, rebelling against her smothering apathy with sudden, snap decisions
to assert herself and be bold. “Except I don’t want
to be a receptionist anymore.” “Right. Executive assistant.” “Salesman.” These mini-moments of
retaliation and growth feel like big victories for Pam. “I have decided that
I’m going to be more honest. I’m gonna start telling people
what I want directly.” The Brave Pam feels like
the Real Pam in a sense, the Pam we root for, “Why didn’t any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked.” whereas much of the time
she’s holding her tongue, being nice,
not saying what she really thinks. Pam’s biggest victory is arguably creating the role
of Office Administrator for herself. “Is one of you the office administrator?” “I am! I’m the office administrator!” She eventually recognizes that
all this work she’s been doing in the office deserves a legitimate title
and fair salary, “I get paid forty a year.” “Great.” “Maybe fifty.” “Fifty?!” “No, not fifty. Forty… one.” “That’s great.” So because this doesn’t exist yet
in her workplace, she takes charge
and creates meaningful change through channeling that gutsy person
we love within Pam. “Say it.” “Mm-mm.” “Say that I’m lying. Or say I have the job. Make a definitive statement, Gabe.” “So as it turns out, I may not have done so hot
on my customer reviews this year.” “Maybe it’s cause you spent the whole year
flirting with the receptionist.” Another aspect of normality we see explored
through Pam is her love with Jim, which echoes the trajectory of
so many real relationships: from the first flutters of romance
to the excitement of getting together, through long-distance love,
unplanned pregnancy, diverging interests,
and marriage counseling. “You woke up early with the kids
and let me sleep, and I really appreciate that.” “Thank you. I appreciate that you appreciate that.” This is so rare on TV, which tends to focus on the drama
of love connections sparking or imploding. Watching the many stages of regular life
this couple goes through is in many ways a lot more interesting,
and lets us see ourselves in Jim and Pam. “I’ve been putting the kids to bed
by myself every night for months. And you had to miss one phone call. Is that your truth, Jim,
that’s really your truth?” “I guess I will swallow my truth.” “Are you guys high?” Near the end, though, this question of whether normal is enough
forms the central test of their marriage. “I just-I liked our life in Scranton.” “And I have started a business
in Philadelphia.” Pam feels she’s totally content
with their typical family life. “Dwight, you might find this hard
to believe, but I love my boring life–” “Come on!” “–exactly the way it is.” “No!” But when she voices her vision
of their future in front of Jim, “I don’t think anything’s going to change
with us with work and 2 kids, nothing interesting is going to happen
to us for a long, long time.” he’s visibly shell-shocked. Pam thinks she doesn’t need more
than they already have, but Jim realizes he does. “There’s always something better.” And in this conflict, all the issues we’ve been talking about
in Pam’s character come to a head “I don’t want to give him an ultimatum, but I am not moving our family to Philly.” as she resists Jim’s drive
to go after a more fulfilling career, we have to ask, is this coming from
her healthy contentment with normality, or her apathy rearing its ugly head? “Even if it was a great boss
and a great job, I just… I don’t know if I want– I don’t know if I want this.” “This is a little out of left field.” “Is it?” It’s not always easy to tell. “If I didn’t do certain things
without telling Pam, she’d be married to Roy.” Should we constantly be wanting more, or is it a virtue to be happy with less? On the one hand, Pam’s aversion to change denies Jim the freedom to pursue
a professional passion, something he’s finally doing
for the first time after years of wasting his potential at a job
he doesn’t really like. “When he’s excited about something,
like the Office Olympics, he gets really into it
and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that
he works here, so that hardly ever happens.” Jim apparently begins to wonder if Pam
is what’s been holding him back. “Well if Pam says she won’t go, then we’re going to need a lot more
than counseling.” When the couple goes to Roy’s wedding and he’s suddenly become this amazing guy
with his new partner, “He plays piano?” “No. Roy? No.” both Jim and Pam seem worried that,
by not expecting more of Roy, Pam was somehow partly responsible
for his stagnation. “I mean seriously,
I kind of dodged a bullet on that one.” “You’re welcome.” “Thanks.” Of course it’s totally unfair to blame Pam for Roy’s lack of growth
while they were together, but the question is raised
in Jim’s and Pam’s minds, while they talk about whether it’s important to still have surprises
in their lives. “We still surprise each other.” “Definitely.” When Jim wants to work in Philly,
Pam almost seems hurt that he’s showing this level of enthusiasm
for something besides her, as expressed in her fixation
on whether she’s enough for him. “And I’m afraid that this is
not enough for you, and I’m afraid that
I’m not enough for you.” Meanwhile, Jim’s dishonesty coupled with
his lack of appreciation for what she’s doing to make this possible for him, “I am doing everything I can every week
to bring home something for our family–” “I am trying to make
everything perfect here, okay, so that you can have everything
that you want.” brings out the revelation from Pam
that she’s been stifling her honest reactions to a number of events
in their life before now. Jim has repeatedly failed to communicate
or consult her on important joint decisions, but because he presented his actions
as grand gestures of love she felt she couldn’t protest. “He took this job in Philly
without telling me, he bought our house without telling me. At a certain point,
he shouldn’t be rewarded for that.” It’s only really in the final season that we see the toll
this has gradually taken on her. “I don’t know what I was so worried about. I have the best wife in the world.” “I still can’t believe he didn’t tell me” The Office isn’t a show
with explosive plots every episode. It’s slow and steady, just like everyday life. Their crisis in the last season illustrates that there doesn’t have to be
dramatic anger or a torrid affair at the root of a marital breakdown. “You know what, I don’t think you want to
start a conversation with me about what’s fair.” A pattern of poor communication
can be enough “So you invested $10,000
to look like a team player?” “You weren’t there. It was very clear that
$10,000 was what we had– We’ll talk about it later” Once Jim proves that
their normal family life is everything to him,
that he doesn’t need anything else, “You are everything.” her insecurity
and feeling of imbalance is cured. And in the finale, brave, bold Pam emerges once more
with a big gesture to support Jim. “And I could come to you with
this big Jim gesture and show you all at once
just how much I love you, and how much I really do
believe in your future.” So we can only hope that
her apathy will at last be kept at bay. While this healed Pam
may have a slightly more exciting life, when we leave her
she’s still a pretty average person, and that’s the point. She takes her life purpose from her family,
as so many of us do, and doesn’t end up as some kind of inspirational female symbol
with an amazing career. Her endpoint probably left a lot of viewers
with a degree of mixed feelings, which proves The Office stuck
with its honest portrait of the normalcy mindset
through this character to the end. From the outside looking in, even Pam herself can see
what she should be doing differently. “I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long
to do so many important things.” But The Office spends a great deal of time
inside Pam’s mind, making us understand why
she’s so easily satisfied with less. The phrase “girl next door” contains its point of view
right there in the words. It’s the girl next to our protagonist. Instead, The Office zeroes in
on Pam herself, exploring how it feels to be that shy girl, who’s sidelined, belittled,
critiqued, and under-appreciated until she finally learns to be aggressive
and believe in her self-worth “I did the coal walk. Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss.” Apart from these surmountable perils
that can arise from the normal-is-enough mentality, Pamela Beesly-Halpert exemplifies,
time and again, the beauty in the ordinary. “Why do you use your name
when you answer the phone?” “Oh, that’s how Pam does it. I just copy her. She’s sort of a living legend.” Her life isn’t perfect “STOP DATING MY MOTHER!” but it’s filled with perfect moments. And the rest of us can hope to be blessed by such perfectly wonderful pieces
of normal, too. “So, look out world,
cuz ol’ Pammy is getting what she wants. And, don’t call me Pammy.” Hi, guys,
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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “The Office: Pam Beesly – The Perils of Being Normal”

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  2. I liked that Pam was voicing her opinions about how Jim was getting a pass for making these big decisions. But also annoyed that she was ignorantly happy. Can't help but love/hate this couple towards the end.

  3. I liked Pam in the early seasons. I LOVED her in her coal walk moment and the seasons that followed. Her growth was so well written. smacking Michael was a long time coming.

  4. Hi The Take, I love your videos. Would you please consider doing a character study on Jan? I think she's really underrated.

  5. I always hated the way Michael sexualized Pam, and how that took a toll on her. It allowed OTHER people to sexualize her, and there was nothing she could do. Despite this, she was still nice to Michael, even after he dated her mom, and that just shows that she is a saint.

  6. She became happier later in the show and she saw herself as a part of "the office" as opposed to an outsider being weirded out/annoyed by all her coworkers – she grew to love Michael and appreciate/help others. The actress portrayed such as real attachment to Jim but I always thought Jim's character didn't deserve her in a way that i feel like he got off on knowing how dorky she was and how "normal" he was in comparison, how funny she thought he was when he messed with others in the office. He was never interested in her stuff but he enjoyed the validation she always gave him instead of the way that it was clear how Pam really admired and adored Jim. Meanwhile Jim stayed with the thought that he was aways "too good" for his coworkers, blamed pam for simple mistakes, refused to change things like his messy lifestyle for daryl OR pam, messed with everyone especially Dwight, screwed over karen because again, he used karen for validation and never truly liked her in the way he led her to believe. I liked their story trust me i feel that some people are genuine while their partners are not. I think she's the most relatable because many of us like to try things out, feel optimistic and sometimes when it doesn't work out or we dont have people to appreciate our effort, we view ourselves as failures.

  7. What a piece of crap, I got interested a little bit at the beggining but soon I realized it was because I love the office and not becuase of the video itself, this is just a waste of time, over analyzed, deceiving, like implying Roy abused phyisically of Pam, when that didn't happen, he was just a simpleton guy who didn't love her, he wasn't evil. And then talking about sexism, it's not sexist to say she was hotter before, when she was younger. I stopped watching the video right there, it's so retarded.

    I really have no idea why you people made this horrible video about such an amazing show, to gain some miserable views?

  8. She's not normal though. She's pretty, hot, funny, not emotionally stable, creative, talented, positive, conscientious, and affectionate. Less than 10% of people are like that.

  9. Nice try but, between your boring delivery and the misuse of terms, it's a downer. And you repeat yourself too much. What you describe is not apathy at all. Pam yearns, she's just afraid of taking risks because she thinks she's not good enough. Being afraid and fooling herself to think she's OK with how things go is not the same as apathy.

  10. Media in the 2000s – Let's make things with heart and soul and that is grounded and relatable
    Media towards the end of the 2010s – All of our media is about immortal beings with completely ridiculous, corporate-formula personalities. No one writing these characters know how to relate to human beings, so none of our characters are memorable or enduring.

  11. When you talk about normality being a burden it's kinda weird. Because it's a 'burden' most people have by the virtue of it being normality.

    Like the fact you have to call it normality is kinda sad.

  12. This is a well written essay and I really did not expect this. Thank you for making this. Watching Pam's journey is kind of sad but definitely inspiring.

  13. Smh. I thought this was gonna be a real video until they started making Jim the bad guy for taking his own initiative and trying to make a better life for Pam and his family saying it’s his fault they’re having problems. Trash video and massive waste of time

  14. Loved this so much I watched it twice! I have a request – I'd love a Take video on Jan. I feel like she is a bit of a warning for when women have to act like men to get ahead in the corporate world. It's like she is always fighting, struggling, swimming up stream while the Scranton branch women are "happy with the balanance [they've] struck". From being so imbalanced, her repressed feminine energy comes out in all sorts of crazy ways. A women in the workplace vid to go along with this one of Pam would be awesome

  15. I loved this analysis!!! Awesome that you brought up themes like the emotional labor she had to perform, or the constant sexism in the workplace.

  16. My best friend was just like Pam. we were buddies and I fell in love with her. but she don't wanna leave her Roy for me…
    Finally we just lost our friendship and we're not talking anymore… -_-

  17. yeah. no…..
    normal isnt exactly what the office celebrates.
    pam was a necessary character so the show wouldnt delve too far into crazyness, but crazyness is what moved the show.
    dwight is anything but normal, and he keps things interesting.

  18. It always bothered me that Jim supported Pam in her dream to go to New York/be an artist/etc, but she doesn't support him in the same way when he wants to start a company. There's a lot of anti-Pam stuff out there, but that seemed the most egregious. It almost seemed like jealousy because Jim could be more than she could.

  19. I love Pam.. she’s re relatable and fun.. she’s like your best friend and because you feel all those things when stuff happens to her in the office you feel for her like you would your best friend.. amazing.

  20. The writers gave Jim way too many perfect lines, making him so unrealistic. He always said the right thing at the right time, always in perfect lighting and mood, always getting Pam's adoring looks and making her wet. Giving women in the real world such unrealistic expectations.

  21. 13:04 one of my favorite scenes because I think we all know at least one weaselly person that won't commit to something but doesn't like confrontation.

  22. My two grandmas have the same personality and they are the best persons in earth they always visit my home even though they have to travel a lot.

  23. So someone is manipulative and can't produce anything real. They use some kind of messed up socialism to get a meaningless achievement by forcing the company to promote them by government fiat.

    Never mind that all this does is create an office environment where spoilt brats thrive and America becomes uncompetitive.

    Well done. Peace. Live forever.

  24. ugggh you just had to have izzy and denny in a random part of this video? seriously? ahhh my heart can’t take this

  25. I think that the delivery in this video should have been a bit more expressive. It feels like I'm watching a training video! Great content, though.

  26. Pam is a typical first wife that's left for the more vivacious younger woman once Jim becomes a billionaire. 2nd wife. Happy life!

  27. I like how they’re not having Hollywood conflict,
    It’s really good to see problems happening that we’re having to work through for ourselves.

  28. I don’t know if anyone else felt this way… but Pam seemed to be growing so much. Especially after the coal walk. She started taking a chance on herself, pursuing art, telling people how she felt… but then she just sort of fizzled and went back to being the way she always was. Felt like a missed opportunity to me.

  29. I wasn't expecting to relate to the entire flaws section and now I'm having another existential crisis over a character study

  30. Somehow I find this video very depressing. Not because of the video. But because i realize how normal I am. And am scared not to grow as much as she did.

  31. Ive never seen this show. I am a receptionist. What I know for sure is you don't stick around for 6 years if you don't like the people. Excellent deep dive as always and will start watching asap!

  32. Pam: the office hotty. Brutally sexist. Totally the exact same thing as saying the female sex is objectively lesser than the male sex. Brilliant analysis.

  33. I dunno. Pam was a two dimensional character in the beginning, and then she became "assertive". It changed her too quick, that kinda change made her unstable as a character. I think if she had slowly developed into a better, more open character, it wouldn't have caused so many split opinion who hates her and who loves her.
    She isn't hateable, she's just unfunny and normal, but that's how she was written to be. When she began to open up, people began to appreciate her, characters and viewers alike, but then she started acting on insecurities alone, and coerced Gabe into giving her a higher position that she clearly neither had the experience nor preparation for. The Philly thing with Jim was a trainwreck of episodes that left me with a tattered and torn opinion of Pam, and made me think less of her. Jim too, because of his overly-cocky sense of "everything's gonna be okay even with this big thing happening". But Pam, despite holding a household together, really took too much of that insecurity out on Jim. Pam knew she couldn't go to art school because she's never been able to accept change, so it wasn't as big of a deal as when Jim left for Philly to pursue his dreams because Jim knew that he truly wanted this. Pam always half-assed it because she couldn't change anything in her life or she'd feel uncomfortable. I'm the same way too, if I get uncomfortable with this change, I half-ass it, and it ends up being a regret. I think Pam regretted it like I would, and acted out far too much on that towards Jim. That's when my opinion of Pam really took a dip, and there wasn't enough time for her to redeem herself, so I instead have to live with this idea that her character can be just a really big asshole if she's insecure enough. And this has nothing to do with her being a female, bcuz I'm going for personality, not gender, ffs.

  34. My friend said she didn’t like Pam and Pam is my favorite character so I just sent her this and told her to watch it

  35. I think you confused "normal girl" with covert narcissist. She plays both sides of everything so that people will like her and think she's sweet but she is actually an attention whore who can't be without a man for even a second so she always has back up. She plays the victim but is really hateful when no one is looking. Nothing normal about that unless you consider everyone a passive aggressive covert narcissist. Not everyone, just the people who think Pam is normal, so it looks like about 20,000 of your viewers. Oh and you.

  36. This is a great video. For some reason I've always related most to Pam and I couldn't tell why; turns out we're pretty alike in some ways. Thanks!

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