Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to Golf With Friends*FART*, with Ethan and wade You asshole! *Ethan-Wade laugh* Farting in my intro, ha ha ha, ah fuck it. *Mark and Ethan laugh* Wade: Bob’s not here, so someone had to do it. Ethan: Clap Wade: So… *is cut off*
Mark: What? Oh, clap in three two one! *clap* *non-synchronized claps*anish was here E: Wait, do that again? W: That was terrible!
M: Nope, can’t. Nooope. E: That was so bad, do it again! E: (through giggles) Okay M: *laughs*
W: That’s it, that’s all you get. M: Haaaa E: Should I do an intro?
M: I don’t know, do you feel like doing an intro? W: You just went, why did you shoot if you were going to do an intro?? E: I don’t know, because we’re already in it.
M: I don’t know. M: Shit. W: Oh why is my ball white? That’s boring.
E: Fuck it, no intro. W: Also, um, Ethan, just so you know, there’s a POWERBAR. M: Yeah, I, there’s a power bar.
E: No, I know that. E: I realize. M: You knew that!?
E: I got it in, I got it in in TWO, Wade! W: That’s good, that’s very good. M: Yeah, I mean – It’s-
E: I know how to play this game, what do you think I’m a fucking amateur? M: You guys are making FUN OF ME!
W: Well, I can’t ever assume anymore. M: This is BULLSHIT! M: I didn’t even get to- E: How does it feel?!
M: -I didn’t even get to post that video! It’s fucking stupid! M: You guys are assholes! W: It’s okay, I posted it for the both of us. M: Oh, thanks, yeah. E: *chuckles* E: Ready? Uh-Whoo! M: Whee! Hole in one. W: Ohwoo. E: Hooole in one. W: I’m finished with this. M: HOW DOES IT FEEL WADE?!? TO SUCK?!? E: Yeah Wade, how does it feel? M: DONGER. W: Well, it’s been awhile. M: Yeah it’s been awhile.
E: Ha, it’s been awhile. M: I’ve moved on from this Let’s Play.
W: To be fair I never get to play classic anymore, W: I’ve always got stupid cubes and cylinders to work with. M: Yeah, it’s supposed to be a relaxing, fun experience. WITH friends. E: Mhm. M: Like that’s the whole idea, right? W: Woohoo! M: Yay, Par! Wade: Oh. Mark: I did it, guys. M: Oh, Ethan.
E: I’m suckin’ dick on this one. M: Yeah, you are, I see that, very much so. E: Yeah.
W: It’s okay. E: Oooo! E: Ahahahahahahaha. M: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mark and Wade: ooo! M: Ahhh W: How does it feel Ethan and Mark…ohhh * Giggles * M: Feels Feels pretty good man I mean I don’t know why you need to be so antagonistic about everything.. I mean E: I’d like it if i got more support from you Wade because it feels like you’re really trying to drag me down M: I mean he gets that enough from me W: ohh..uh excellent shot there *Marks giggles* E: Thank you. E: Oh no, there’s a..(giggles) There’s a gap there. M: Yep, it is a..
W: Mind the gap M: Oh!!
W: (yelling) Oo-ho-ho! Shit! Hole in one baby! Hole in fucking one! E: Gonna go.. And go again! Ethan: Ahhh M: Eat a chode. hahahaha hahaha E: God damn it! M: *deep laughter* W: I- Ethan, I fully respect, you will be able to do it this time E: You gotta use just enough power E: Up! I’m on the platform so thats good. W: You almost screwed it up. HU HU HUH E: HO! there. we. go. M: Man, Wade just go back to insulting ’cause this is just weird W: *whispers* no M: Be a NORMAL Wade~ GEEZ E: yeah. E: Yeah, “normal” Wade E: Why you tryna change yourself for us? W: Uh, Does not compute M: *in sarcastic tone* You’ve changed, Wade. *laughs* E: Change M: You’ve changed *laugh* W: Well money and power W: will do that to you M: Hahahahah. W: and I dont have either. W: You gotta be kidding me. M: That’s not good, that’s not good. Hehehehe. M: Seems like the only one who is doing well is ME.
E: Excuse me W: I know, I’m almost back to last place. M: Amazing! E: Oh wait no, I’m in- I’m in last. I was like “I’m doing well.” No.. I am in last. M: Oh shit, fuck. Oh no. God damn it. W: Guys, I got there in 2 strokes. E: I got there in a few! M: Yeah, shut your f- NO! *Wade and Ethan laugh* E: Ahhhh! How’s it feel to suck, Mar– M: Hey! I’m- oh, I’m- god damn it, I lost the lead and I’m…
W: *talking over him* It looks like the only one who’s doing well is me. M: SHUUUT UUUP! YOU’RE MAKING FUN OF ME! E: Oh! Oh, a hole in one for me! Thank you very much! W: *high pitched* OOOO BABY!
M: Wait–WHAT?! I’m stuck on the fucking lip? *Wade and Ethan laugh*
M: I’m stuck on the fucking lip! M: What the fuck is that shit?! *Sigh* M: You dickbags got a hole in one? M: FUCK YOOOOU! E: I got a hole in one M: FUCK YOOU E: Okay Im gonna use some math here To help me out W: Three plus four equals W: SHOOT THE BALL E: Im back where I started. Whoopsies W: Whoopsie Doopsie Mark: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOO W: That was so close M: NOOOOOOO E: Here I go! E: Uhhhup M: You know – *Wade laughs* M: When ever I feel bad about my shots I always just look at what Ethan’s doing And I remember how – E: Yup M: much better I am E: I’m great at golf W: I got a hole in one, I was trying to give him a tip and he’s like *Mocking Ethan* Oh I know how to play! *Mark laughs* *Ethan and Wade at the same time* E: I know – I know what I’m doing!
W: I’m already a professional! *Ethan laughs* M: Just stop doing it so hard! *M giggles* M: Just softly…
E: Well if I do it too little – E: There we go
W: There you go
M: Just caress it E: Hey, guys!
W: No pressure, but you’ve only got three shots M: Hey, guys! M: Crazy boys, here! E: Crazy boys! M: What is up my Crazy Boys! E: What is up my Crazy Boys! W: I’m LordCrazy777 M: Hey- Doishkee! Oh, shit. E: Boo! M: Fuck. E: Hup! Ooooh! W: Isn’t that full power? E: No! Goddamn it. M: No not full power.
E: I keep hitting the wrong- M: Haiiii tadoshki! M: *gasps* Yeeessss! M: NOOOOOOOO! E: Haha!
W: It is full power! M: Is it full power?
E: ah ha ha! W: It’s full power on the third, uhh-
M: Ohhh! M: On the third one, oH! E: Huuuh-
M: fuuuuuck- M: WOOOOOAAAH! HEY! M: Oh, fucking- goddamn it. E: Woohoo! *words*
M: I am in the EXACT same spot as you were W: I know! I told you
M: *giggles* W: You gotta hit full power on the third target, what did you expect? *laughs* M: I don’t know, fuck
E: heheheheh E: Haha! Double bogey! M: heAAAAA M: huAA M: huAAAAAH M: woOOAH! M: oh oH OH OH OH OH OH
W: oh oH Oh, man, nice W: Very nice.
M:*loudly* OH M: *even louder* OH
W: I thought that the last second W: it was going to knock you out of the way.
E: Did you get a hole in one? M: I GOT A HOLE IN O-O-ONE W: Oh, did you? Very nice! M: Yes, I- hahaHaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA M: How did that work physically? That’s physically impossible E: There we go M: Ya did it W: You had to like… I don’t know. I don’t know how he did it M: hole in ONE! M: If i can just hold on to this lead W: OH, this hole is rough M: IS IT THOUGH? E: Oh yeah M: Oh yeah it is W: It was the last time i did it W: They chan- E: Nope okay whoops he he he M: HOY *yelling! WHAT??!?!? NO GOD THE BLADE E: There we go M: The blaaaade E: OH NOOOOOO M: The BLAAAAADE W: The blade hit me too I bounced back so hard it took me here anyway E: NO DAMMIT Wait where are the logs going? E: Okay I’vE GAHHH Okay the logs are taking me with them E: Okie doke W: *says no repeatedly very rapidly* E: alright i’ve got a clear shot. Mark: NO AHH WADE LOGS NO E: YES HAHA ooooo ooo that was close M: HAHAHOHO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO E: I got some good shit on that hole M: *makes hopeful noise* Oh FUCK W: EASY E: oh wow E: Mark you’re terrible at this game W: AHHHH ONE POINT AT THE END M: AHHH NO M: NOOOO W: And then there’s… Ethan right there E: I’m closer M: I-It’s cause you got the advantage from the saw we both got hit by it why did you get out of it alive? W: *laughs* W: Because I was a second late M: FUCK YOU E: I did pretty good on that one M: Yeah Ethan- W: That saw blade was AWESOME M: -It was expected that you were gonna be terrible, but I can’t believe myself E: WHY WAS IT EXPECTED E: THAT I was gonna be terrible? M: IT WAS EXPECTED M: I don’t know… E: WHY M: I just always expect that out of ya E: *laughs* W: What do you guys wanna see next? E: expect that I’m gonna be at M: I don’t know E: horrible at everything that I do M: Wait what’s haunted? Yeah I haven’t seen haunted E: Yeah do haunted M: EEWWWWW that goat sneezed and or jizzed M: *laughs* W: Both simultaneously we call it the “snizz” E: That goat is covered in semen M: *laughs more* E: GHOST SEMEN M: *laughs even more, but also louder* M: My game is crashing apparently M: Oh there we go we’re good E: OH M: OH FUCK E: It’s all glowy W: Welcome to the haunted mansion M: Oh my gohahahod E: oh I’m an egg E: OOHHH BOY OH BOY M: Is low gravity ON? W: A little bit, but not high enough to account for that E: Yeep M: Haaiiya o jumpin’ M: Oh oh oh fuck E: Are we all the same shape or are we different? W: No W: It’s random each M: Okay E: Oh good M: Don’t fuck up E: OH NO Mark: Ah no! I’m right there! Fuck me! E: How am I E: being launched in the air so much? M: I’m right… look, I’m right there guys M: I’m right… awwww… fuck. E: Aw! Jesus… M: Oh no… W: NO M: come on, just get in the god damn hole… Come on…! Yes! E: It looks like we’re all eggs. M: Fuck yea! How did I get a bogey? I did that in like, 2 shots! E: Ehhh, ehhh, ehhh-ahh W: Double bogey M: How’d I get a bogey? E: Okay, okay, yes, yes, yes, ready W: I don’t know. E: There-there we go. M: Nice. W: You apparently shot three times. E: Seven. *laughs* M: I don’t know. That was a bunch of crap. E: How’d you only shoot three times?! M: Oh no. W: Oh God. M: Oh no. W: Who’s the cube? Okay, it’s Ethan. E: I’m the cube. M: Wait, oh I’m- W: Mark’s a baby cube! M: I’m a tiny cube! E: You’re a Tiny Box Tim M: I’m the baby, gotta love me-woaa woaah woah woah M: Bouncy bouncy bouncy boUNCY NO NO OH W: No no NO NUUU M: *mocking Wade* NUUU E: *mocking Wade* NUUU W: *high pitched* STOP BOUNCING I’M JUST TRYING TO SHOOT M: AAAHH fuck E: With the cube you can slide a little bit. It’s kinda nice. W: Ah-ha! No, NOO E: Fucking god damn it. E: There. M: NOOOO W: Oh I hate cylinders M & E: *laughing* W: Ugh M: Hiiiya. Nuuhahahaoo E: You can not make it up that hill. E: I believe in- M: Hah ah ah uh ah E: There you go! You were close, you were close, you were real close. W: No No NO NO NO NO NO NOOO M: Wade, what’s goin’ on? E: WHERE? WHAT? M: Shh. E: DID YOU JUST GO through the wall? M: NO W: Oh come on! M: *high pitched excitement* YES YES E: There you go! M: Oh fuck. Ha Wade. W: Don’t do it! DON’T DO IT M & E: *laughing at Wade* M: Wade *still laughing* Eat a dick W: NOOAHHAO M: Oh man! W: OH-OH NO M: Oh no. W: GET BACK IN THERE E: Where are you going!? M: *laughing* E: Why are you jumping so much?! W: I’M GOING TO THE HOLE M: He’s desperate. It’s is last stroke. M & E: *laughing* W: NO! Well E: You didn’t make it. W: I noticed, thank you M: Oh you suck E: Hey, I’m not losing right now. It’s good. M: Well, I mean, you’re losing to me. E: What? W: What is that!? M: What IS that? E: I’m a-I’m a- I think I’m a Christmas tree ornament. M: Oh, you are. Oh no, you’ve got a nub on you. W: Get off of him. E: Oh no, that’s not me. W: Am I the ornament? M: Oh no, I’M the Christmas tree ornament. M: Weeeeee. Weeee we we ahaha hi guys. E: I’m a-I’m a uh W: *With disappointment* I’m a cube?! WELL. M: Ok E: Eh W: OH AHAAHAH OH M: Ooh AAHH E: There we go! Woo! M: WHAT THE FUCKING FU-DID YOU HIT ME?! E: Ha haha W: Yeah.. E: You can’t hit each other can you? W: Oh you can! M: You fucking hit me, you bitch! Did you fucking HIT ME? M: FUCK YOU! Where is the uh E: Oh what the- M: Where-where is the…? E: Yeah, you gotta go far on this one. M: Oh no. E: Oh no, I went to the side. M: What do I-what the fuck? E: You- fuck. God M: How do I… W: Why can’t we touch the ground?
E: Don’t hop over don’t hop over don’t hop over don’t hop over M: AAHHH THE WRONG WAY E: There we go M: NOOOO M: Fuck W: STOOOP E: There we go! E: I’m doin’ pretty good. M: Okay, alright, okay *high pitched* NOOOO M: *singing* Thhaaat is NOT RIGHT W: Bounce W: BOUNCE SOMEWHERE
M: *Still singing* OOooh it’s a BAD NIGHT. oh fuck W: YOU’RE AN ODDLY SHAPED THING BOUNCE E: There we go-OH GOD DAMN IT I fucking keep bouncing over walls. There we go M: HO yes-NOOO W: WOOOAH E: OOh, ooh I’m close, oh I’m close M: *softly* fuck off. W: Where is the end of this level? E: OH NO GOD DAMN IT WHY DID I DO THAT? I fucking boun-ah. I bounced out M: I’m not gonna make it, guys. E: How did you do that Wade? Are you an acorn? M: Guys. W: I don’t know what I am-NOO NOO M: Wait, how do you only have four strokes?! How in the FUCK- E: Yeah, what the hell? *giggles* M: How in the tits do you only have four strokes?! E: I ran out of strokes. E: You still o-oh wait, no, nevermind. W: TEN SECONDS
E: Oh, can you get it? M: Better get in there. E: Better get in the hole. M: Better get in there. W: STOP BOUNCING E: Oh boy. Oh boy. 2, 1 M: OOhohohohooh ho ho ho, OH eat a dick! E: AHAHAHA yeah, that’s why E: Oh I’m a star? E: I’m a STAR. M: Woah woah woah woah woah woah easy up M: Easy up, easy up. W: STOP BOUNCING *lightning sounds* M: Woah, man, the lightning is intense guys. *more lightning* E: Okay M: Woah boy that’s not good. This is the opposite of good. E: There we go! I did good, I got a birdie. I did real good. M: Shut the fuck up ya asshole! E & W: *soft laughter* M: If I wanted to know what the fuck you did, I woulda asked. W: WELL M: AH E: What the fuck are ya doing? M: NOOO fuck oooff W: PLEASE? M: NOOO E: Hahaha E: I like this game. W: WHY AM I GOING STRAIGHT UP? I’M A CUBE M: NO E: This is a fun one! M: Shut up, you’ll get yours! W: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. E: Ooh E: Ooh
W: *screams*
M: FUCK E: Hah M: Uggghhh W: OKAY WELL HERE I AM HUMPIN’ A CHAIR M: Were-were you-were you-were you just a ball? Were you a ball? E: No, I was a star. M: Oh M: Ah, fuck you anyway. E: Ah shit, you gotta… *lightning sounds* M: Ah shit guys. W: I better not be the cylinder again. M: Where do we go? W: Oh that’s a THAT’S A BAD E: Oh shit, okay. M: Where do we go? That way? W: *Slaps self in face*
E: Euh M: Fuck E: Oh no, nonono M: Woah, okay, alright, that’s not good. E: Do you gotta be… *lightning sounds* M: Ah fuck E: How did you stay on there? Ooh W: AAH E: Ooh, close. W: NOOO E: There we go, there we go. I’m doing a lot better this game. I might win this one. M: NOOOO E: Look out! M: St-Stop! W: NOOO M: Eh, eh, eh, NO NOO W: Mark! Bump me! BUMP ME M: AH AAH FUCK NOOO E: You just get- you’re just jumping M: NOOOOOO M: *screaming* NOOOO E: Wade, you’re so-you’re so close, Wade! W: I KNOW! I KNOW! E: It’s right there E: And on your last stroke! W: YES I’M AWARE M: Fuck man. E: And both of you ran out of time. OH, look who’s in the lead. M: Oh, fuck this shit. W: *sarcastically* Oh good, we’re cones. M: I’m a mini cone at least. E: Ooh, ooh, don’t M: No, I’m a Christmas ball. W: WHAT? I hit the-Are you kidding me? E: Oh no, oh no, oh no. M: What the fuck?! E: There we go. NO. God damn it, FUCK. W: It wouldn’t let me bounce over!? M: Yeah, it wouldn’t. Live with it Wade! E: FUCKING- M: Why don’t you just- E: GOD DAMN IT M: Oh, oh, now you’re feeling the pain, HUH ETHAN HUH? E: I’M FEELING THE PAIN M: YEAH! E: I KEEP- M: EEEEAAAT IT E: I CAN’T MAKE IT UP THE RAMP OR I FUCKING GO OVER IT W: OH SUCK IT PAIN FEELER M: YEAH FEEL THAT PAIN FEEL MY PAIN M: FEEL IT, RUB MY PAIN E: Uhh, ooh. rub it? M: Rub it! Rub my pain! E: I don’t want to rub your pain. M: Rub my pain! E: Do I have to? M: Rub it! I gotta big ball. Rub my pain.
E: Uh, oooh. W: You’ve got a normal ball though M: I am a big-ah fucking hell. E: Fucking *more lightning* W: DO NOT YOU-I’M STUCK IN A BOX M: NOOO WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DID I BOUNCE? I’M A FUCKING BALL E: No! WHY? FUCKING UH, W: I did the same stupid thing. E: I KEEP GOING OVER Every fucking time! M: Ohhh. E: I’m bouncing, it’s really hot in here. *softly* No, stop. M: No! M: *groaning* W: Well, here we go! Can Wade make the perfect shot? E: WHY? Don’t hit me. M: Didn’t mean to W: Nope, the answers NO. I’M A SUCK A DOODLE DO COCKTAPUS!–cocktapus? Mark and Ethan: *cracking up* W: I called myself a cocktapus M: Oh I ran out of strokes. I was the ball and I ran out of strokes. I was a normal golf ball. E: Okay, I have-I have one more. I have one shot. W: And there it goes. E: Oh fucking god damn it M: You’re a real cocktapus ain’t ya?! Huh Ethan? Stop being such a cocktapus M: Here I go. *badly singing* Here I go again, on my own. E: I’m just slowly falling down the stairs. M: What the fuck is this? M: What the fuck is this? Wha-oh my GOoOoD W: NO E: Where did you go?! M: I WENT BACK E: Why did you go backwards? M: I HIT THE FUCKING ROOF FUCK YOU E: What shape are you? M: THAT’S FUCKING WHY E: *laughing* M: FUCK OFF W: Ah E: AAHHHH W: Golf With Your Friends, map 1 versus map 2. E: I can’t make it over M: Oh my god M: I… get up, *sighs* W: Oh I’M AN EGG BOUNCE LIKE ONE M: Oh, fuck. If I could stop being a god damn cube. Do you know how many times I’ve been a cube? M: FUCK M: Just… CAN I GIVE UP? M: fuck. You CANNOT GET THE CUBE UP THE RAMP. MY CUBE STOPPED ON THE RAMP. YOU CAN NOT SHOOT A CUBE OFF A GOD DAMN RAMP W: please. No! NO NOOO W: AAHHH M: Just die, just die. E: Stop bouncing. Stop bouncing! I’m just bouncing M: Stop bouncing, please. E: STOP M&E: *laughing* M: St-stop! W: No, no, Wadey loved you, Wadey loved you egg. GET IN THE HOLE E: IT’S SO HOT IN HERE *takes off sweatshirt* IT’S A-IT’S A MILLION DEGREES M: OPEN A WINDOW YOU IDIOT. I know you have windows, open them. E: No, there’s no time. M: N-no. *dramatically* I can’t do that, Mark. You don’t understand. M: Fucking what?! E: God damn it, I didn’t. E: Ooh I might’ve hit the bouncers. M: In what world-in… E: Ok, I’m in a bad situation. Oh no, oh, uh oh no I didn’t do it. M: IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT HOW THAT WORKS IN PHYSICS? W: Uhh W: This one? M: THE EGG CANNOT GO, GUYS, THE EGG WILL NOT GO OFF THE RAMP, I’M DOING FULL POWER W: NO M: *slowly sinking* GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS E: I’m going back to the same spot. E: Go! NO, don’t go over it! M: NOO GUYS IT’S FUCKED ME IT WON’T GOoO E: WHY AM I-I ran out of strokes M: GUYS W: YESS I GOT IN THE HOLE M: GUYS IT WON’T GO E: AHH M: WADE SPECTATE ME LOOK W: I’m watching! E: I’m done. W: Full Power M: THAT WAS FULL POWER M: GUYS E: What kind of dark magic… M: IT WON’T GO W: Oh no, that’s so sad M: I HATE THIS GAME I HATE IT I HATE THIS GAME E: I think I’m a normal ball. Do we have to-there’s the goat that we’ve been searching for. E: Oh, yep I’m a normal ball. Okay, where is it? M: It’s the-it’s the spizz goat. W: Woah, STOP NOO. E: Oooh W: STOP BOUNCING E: Promising, promising, very promising. M: OH, I’m in-that was the wrong, that was not the right course. E: Okay. Stop M: Okay, alright. E: Stop stop stop!
M: No, NO NO NO W: Ethan, don’t you screw me M: Aye yai yai E: *humorless* Hahahahahaha W: I mean, thank you for the boost I guess? E: You’re welcome E: Ah, Mark- W: GET IN THE HOLE, YOU PATHETIC LITTLE LIFE FORM E: *laughing* Mark’s still at the fucking beginning. M: SHUT UP M: DO NOT SPECTATE ME RIGHT NOW This is fucking bullshit. M: *sternly* Do not spectate me W: Good job Mark M: Do not! W: Alright. M: Hole in one W: One shot. M: Hole in one, fuck yeah E: Yeah, hole in one. M: *high pitched* oOH NO IT WAS RIGHT THERE OH E: Just keep bouncing M: OH AH AH AHH NO FUCK oh E: Oh there you go W: Hey, at least our scores are close E: Yeah M: Yeah, that’s what matters. W: Oh I’m a cone?! M: Oh it’s a spizz gorilla. M: We gotta get through it’s legs? Is that we gotta do? E: God damn it I’m a fucking ornament again M: Fuck, well there’s its head. E: S-sTOp bOuncing- E: The ordaMent just continuously bounces! E: Every time I try and make a shot. W: *chimp noices* E: Keee nO don’t- go over it. E: Don’t go over it… W: *More chimp sounds* M: Eh~ E: *sighs* M: Fucking-why-Really?? M: Really??? E: Oh no W: *muttering please* M: Really- NOOOOO! M: OH YOU’VE GOT TO BE DICKING ME- M: IN THE DIIICK E: I can’t- geT oveR M: *Snaps* OOOHH YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! E: Full power! Yes yes! M: Oh nooooo W: *Coughing* M: You got to be dicking my dick! E: WHY- E: I can’t get through the fucking gorilla! M: ooHH FUCK Off! M: *Manly screams* M: *More screaming* W: Ah. M: *Still screaming* E: FuckinG- E: WHY?! E: There’s a baby’s head here! M: It’s a dolls’ head- It’s okay. W: Oh man. M: Oh my god W: Well done everybody M: I hate this. E: Did you make it Wade? W: Mak- YEah I did. E: ‘Did-did you make what?’ Is that what you were about to say? E: You were like ‘Did I make what?’ M: *Happy mark giggling* W: I thought you were asking if I made the game or the level or something- E: You know full- M: ‘You know full well!’ E: *laughing* You thought, I was asking you if you made the game?! W: You- Shut up! W: I was too busy celebrating my awesome existence! E: GoD DAMN IT! M: Fuck E: I keep hitting the shelves! W: I can’t get through the hole! E: uuGGH E: I’m the fucking hockey puck this should be easy! M: I- nO, the hockey puck- M: I was the hockey puck in the last one! It was perfectly spaced, M: To hit the LEAF! M: The LEAF-*Ignores Wade’s and Ethan’s screaming* M: The LEAF of- on the opposite of the gorilla. E: Guys- E: Pleeease- M: I’m on the book shelf. E: I-I KEEP- E: I keep hitting hitting the shelf!! E: Everytime! W: Yaaay- nO no no No- W: NOOOO! M: Okay, guys I made it to the other side. E: Yes, finally! Me too, me too, me too. M: I’m bouncing like a son-of-a bitch but I made it! E: It’s fine it’s fine- I’M OUT OF GOD DAMN STROKES E: I finally make it, and I’m out of strokes! M: OKay. M: OkaY M: OKAy M: NOPE- That was my last stroke nevermind. E: Your fine M: I’m out. M: Nope, I’m out- I’m out guys. W: Oh my goodness M: Guys I’m out. M: I’m out guys. E: Oh good, the cone my favorite- my favorite shape! W: The finest of Earths’ creatures. E: Can’t wait-oh god I’m in the perfect spot too. W: OH come on! E: Oh go- IT’s LeavinG me?! M: No thank you- OkaY M: Okay guys- E:-fUCKed, I’m fucked! E: I’m fucked! I’m at the tip- M: I’ve got some potental here M: Yes! I got a birdie! I got a birdie! E: I’m at the edge of the rim- M: I got a birdie! (3x) E: How?? M: I got a birdie- guys, M: I did it I got a birdie! W: *Raging* E: I’m on the edge of the ra- ooH K- I ‘m going up there now. E: Okay- alright, please don’t put me back. E: I can stay up here right? Yep, thank you. E: No, don’t go- ffffFFF M: aaAHahahahahAHAHAHAHAHA *Mark you okay there? W: I- CAN’T- GO- ANYWHERE! *Mark continues to laugh* E: eUGAH M: Alright, I’mma watch Wade- Wade why are you- W: More momentum!! M: Wade, how the fuck did you get so high?! W: The cauldron! M: OOOHHH W: I don’t want to go straight up- W: I wANT TO GO FOWARD! E: Oh nooo W: WELL that doesn’t flippy-dippy-dippy-do matter, I’m here! M: I got a birdie guys! Look, I got it in two strokes! E: How?! Whats shape were you? M: I was a disc. E: I’m the the fucking not ball. M: That baby isn’t too happy. E: I’m the thing that looks like a ball, E: But I’m not the ball. M: Fuuuck E: I love it. M: Yeah, the paper mache? E: Yeah, it’s fucking bullshit. M: It’s fuking bullshit guys. M: Guys its fuckin- W: Are you kidding- W: You better be joking! M: Heh, YOu better- you better be joking me! M: I-I don’t appreciate your jokes and candor. W: OH my- I want to put the babies in a blender! M: I mean, if you put the babies in the blender its not going to do you any good for- W: Don’t- wWWHYY?! E: I can bounce my way there. I can make it, E: I’ve got- E: *starts breathing faster* M: I’ve-I’ve got time, guys! I’ve got- I’ve got time. E: I’ve got time! E: GOd damnit I’m giving up, I’m giving up. E: Theres no point! M: There’s NO point. M: aAAUgh M: AAuggh I’m so close, I’ve got one stroke left! M: AAw nO, I’m pointed in the wrong direction, M: Aren’t I?? M:Ah- AUGGH OH I made it in! M: Oh I did it! I did it, oooh. W: Yaaaay E: I’m lost at sea! E: I’m a lost traveler! E: I can never make it back! W: You got fifteen seconds. M: Grab on to the babies head in a jar! M: Grab on! W: He’s just kidding- E: nnOOOOOOOO E: Go- Back- E: Yes, you can make it- hUGghh M: You can do it! I believe in you! E: Please, please! M: Stop tryin-Stop trying to ramp it off there. M: You could- you could make it if you didnt ramp. W: My goodness. E: Yeah, I could make it if I didn’t ramp. I know FULL WELL what I could’ve done. *Mark giggles.* Wade: I think Mark’s birdie is gonna be the difference in the game. M:I think so, yeah. Woaahoaho. Ethan: Where are the magi–tHIS IS A RAMP! Why’d I hit the edge and bounce BACK?? Wade: Yes! That’s very observant of you. No, but I BOUNCED off of the edge, when I tried to– Mark: Oh no. [x5]–Why am I BOUNCING?? WHY?! *’Oh no’ continues.* Are you having the same issue? Mark: Well, I am an EGG. Ethan: Why am I bouncing back?! I don’t know, man. E: THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. *goes on to miss another.* STOOOOP. Please, I’ll give you my first-born child. Mark: Oh fuck. If you let me finish this fucking course. M: Woah, what the FUCK did I do? Oh fuck–Y’know, I’ve realized something, guys. Life isn’t about being angry. Life is about ENJOYING experiences as they come. And when it–OHHHH, I’M AT THE BEGINNING?! [Wade barks ferociously.] NOOOOOOO! W: Enjoy it as it comes. E: Mark, life isn’t about being angry–! I-I fUCKING L–I FUCKING LANDED BACK IN THE BEGINNING! I WAS FUCKING GOING ANYWHERE. I was ACCEPTING my FATE. [Ethan releases a breathy laugh.] And it fucking PUT ME BACK. Wade: At least our scores are still close. M: Yeah, two more, guys, two more. We got this. E: Two more M: This is funny right? This is funny. People like this? This is funny, right? W: AH E: I HIT THE ONE FUCKING JAR IN FRONT OF ME E: I wa… ugh M: Just stop bouncing stop bouncing stop bouncing euah M: EuAuh E: I had so much potential. I had so much potential. M: Where the fuck are we going? E: You gotta ride the web M: Whaat W: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A CONE EVERY HOLE? M: I’m not in the right place. WHERE DOES THE WEB GO? E: I don’t know. M: I don’t see where the-where’s the web go? E: Oh I got it. Oh I got it, okay W: I’m down here M: Where are you?! E: Ride the one that looks like a ramp M: I see it but where does it go? E: It goes down. You gotta hit- W: *screaming* M: OH , uh uh uh uhh M: Okay. E: I’ve got one shot. E: One opportunity E: Oh no. M: You did-you didn’t make it You didn’t make it *Fake accent getting stronger with each word* You did not make E: I didn’t make it and I was a ball
M: YEEAAAH I made it guys, I made it, guys, I made it! Guys, I’m doing great! Guys! Guys? Guys, I did it! I think I’m gonna win! Guys! I think-I think I’m gonna win! Games are fun to play with your friends! Guys! M: Aw fuck W: Oh good, I get to finish with a cylinder! Woohoohoo! M: I’m uh, I’m not any better off. E: Which way do we go? There’s two ways M: It’s a choose your own aDVENTURE. M: I can’t make it up either of these. E: I have goosebumps M: NOO! Oh good. M: Ugh I love goosebumps E: I love goosebumps, sorry, oh no. E: Where am I? M: Oh fuck me, fuck me. Okay M: Oh, the babies are back Ooh Fucking E: Oh, here we go, here we go, stop bouncing. Stop, stop stop. M: No, don’t jump, don’t jump. okay. M: Alright, I just gotta make it through this, right? AAH M: Oh uh, fuck me
E: Babies.. No I’m out of strokes! M: *Singing* I’m gonna make it, guuuys! Oh fuck me in the fucking butthole.
E: You went up a little high there. E: A little too much.
E: That was a little too much pizzaz for that hole. M: Okay, it’s all up to you Wade. Wadey poo. Wadeybaby.
E: You’ve got it. Fulfill the prophecy W: I’m here.
M: Fulfill my prophecy
W: I’m here to fill it M: Fill it, fill it baby
E: Fill it! M: Fill my pro-woaaah nooo
E: Fill it, FILL IT NOO
W: No NOO M: Alright, come on, come on.
E: Wade, you’ve got two more chances. M: Fill that prophecy baby
W: I’ve got two seconds M: Fill it, fill that prophecy!
W: One second! NOO W: *screaming*
M: Aw… Mark: I WIN! I WIN! I WON E: Go fuck yourself M: I will! I will gladly do that. Yeah!

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “THE DAY MARKIPLIER WENT INSANE | Golf With Friends”

  1. Go to the tip of the ramp then go full power, then you won’t have to get up the ramp so you’ll just fly off like you want it to

  2. 3:49 Someone needs to make Wade a math teacher. I'm sure he'd do a great job with logic like that. 3+4=SHOOT THE BALL!

  3. 17:15 that pitch on that scream Ethan did – I dunno what it was about it but it was very stressful/anxiety inducing all on its own!

  4. 🎵Oh marky marky marky mark, won't go. But you can't make marky cause marky won't go, try telling everybody but, woah no. marky marky marky mark, won't go.🎵

  5. ok, but did any one notice when Wade and Ethan both clapped and sighed together? not important, just thought i'd mention it lmaoo

  6. Honestly, if you rewatch and listen underneath Wade and Mark's yelling carefully… you'll hear ethan really quietly
    "That was my last…."
    "Stop, stop bouncing, stop bouncing, stop, stop bouncing"

  7. The year is 20XX. Ethan’s first child has just been born, and he and his girlfriend have never been happier. He’s sitting in the nursery, holding his child, when he sees something in the corner. A dark, shadowy figure he’d hoped he’d never see again.
    “Hello, old friend. Remember me?” The figure said, a dark voice. “Sorry for making you a cube or a cone all those times. But now, you know what I’m here for,” with that, the figure snapped, all the lights going out. When the lights came on, Ethan’s child was gone, and the window was open, the curtains blowing wildly in the cold wind. Ethan cursed Golf With Friends all his days, and himself for bargaining his first born child away to it.

  8. Ethan: I’m gonna use some math here to help me out.
    Wade: Three plus four equals shoot the ball!
    Whatever math this is, it needs to be taught in schools!

  9. * me when im watching alone *
    * Mark, Ethan and Wade are being angels *
    * me watching when my grandparents and walking by *

  10. all i can think of when Mark keeps saying "Why guys?!" he sounds so much like the lady in one of his try not to laugh videos whos screaming at the bear 😂 😂

  11. If your a fellow person with your volume almost all the way up and your parents or someone else is in the room and area next to you skip to 16:26

  12. (sees title)
    Me: Oh you mean like insane by "Oh everyone's dead. I murdered them. heh. Haha. HA- wait why is everyone looking at me?" do you?

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