What happens when 800 of the world’s most elite footballers… and their managers live together under one roof? Players stop being polite… and start getting Re-al. This is… The Champions. And for my next trick, I will make myself reappear as a relevant player! Now that the transfer window is over, I could spend more time pursuing my hobbies. Ya know, like playing football! Hi, this is me, Christian Eriksen! I love to play football for Tottenham Hotspur, I’m so happy! Ah, no. Hello. Watch out Champions League, it’s time for Atlanta to rock your world. Uh, it’s Atalanta. Ah, s–t. So, today is arrival day, and I’m really excited to be in the Champions League mansion with a club that actually has a chance to make it out of the group stage. Jow! Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you… you must have been in my shadow. Uh…what are you talking about? Joao, listen, I know that you feel a lot of pressure; because to be compared to me, this must be very hard. I don’t…I really haven’t thought about it. Shhhh, baby, baby, shhh, it’s OK, it’s OK. You just be the best Joao Felix that you can be… because there will never be anyone who can match my skills or my amount of troph- -my good looks. Here…I want you to take this. It is trophy from something I don’t remember. Whoa, the Nations League cup. Aw, man. I don’t deserve this. I think it should go to our best player. Ah, thank you, but, you know, I already have too many trophies. Oh, no, I meant Bernardo. And here is the kitchen. Whoa. So, I decided to take Luka Jovic under my wing. I even let him into my elite society: ‘LUKAS OF REAL MADRID.’ OK, so, this is the Pirlo wine dispenser if you want wine. This is, uh, Maradona flour dispenser if you like to bake or something. What does this one do? Oh, that’s the Ballon d’Or. It’s supposed to make people care about you, but it does not seem to work. Here we are, lads! Looks like we’re taking over the Man United room. I think I found Fellaini’s old hair. I think I found Alexis Sanchez. Guten tag! Any of you Englanders want some schweinekrusten? Germany definitely changed me. But now, I’m in the Premier League, So, I’m trying to make an effort to understand British culture, innit? So what the heck is up with this Brexit thing? Christian. Stop talking. Listen, Gabriel, I swear- I’m going to find a way to get you more involved. You are just too talented- Ah, Jurgen, my worthy German rival. Pep, my classy Catalan competitor. Champions League trophy…very nice. Premier League trophy…very nice. My doctor says whenever I get a trophy craving I should just put in a commemorative DVD to remind me that it’s really about the journey, not the destination so much. It was a good run at Ajax, but I’m very excited to join Juventus because, well, mainly they’re paying me a lot of money. Hey, Giorgio! My brother! So excited to be on the squad. What’s up? New transfers. Over there. I like it. I see so much new blood. My children, are you willing to serve to sacrifice for the Old Lady? Very good. For she needs the fresh, new blood to stay strong…to stay young. To be… JUVENTUS. Wait…aren’t vampires supposed to like…not be in the sun? Vampire? Oh, I’m not a vampire. No, he just drains the life from everyone who plays with him. Hit the “subscribe” button to support our show, Hit the “subscribe” button to support our show, and get notified about new episodes. That way you can be addicted to our videos And not to… Cigarettes.

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “The Champions: Season 3, Episode 1”

  1. 3:31 Guardiola in his tenure at bayern have a long stare at Audi cup like he was possessed, german media talks about it a lot

  2. Felix :Oh, the nations league cup no I don’t deserve this I think it should go to our best player
    Ronaldo : Oh no I already have too many trophies
    Felix: oh no I meant Bernardo silva

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