[Tom hums] ♪ Nobody would’a bet us
I’d be good at chopping lettuce! ♪ -And singing about it!
-Woohoo! Thanks, Tom. You’re the best audience. This is the most stupidest thing that ever
happened to me or anyone ever! Oh no! Did you find a fingernail
in your sandwich? Worse than that. Look at this commercial
for the Amazing Whizbee Flying Disc. ♪ It’s crazy! It’s amazey! ♪ ♪ It’s the best toy in the world! ♪ ♪ For every boy and girl! ♪ ♪ It’s the Whizbee, the Whizbee ♪ Whizbee! My school is giving one of these away, but the only way to get it
is to win a singing competition. And I can’t sing! -Agh!
-Wait, Ginger, don’t give up. -I can teach you to sing.
-Really? Sure. Anybody can sing
if they have the right teacher. And passion. And soul. -And rhythm.
-♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! ♪ -But mostly a teacher!
-I knew you’d say that! That’s why I already signed up
for the singing competition. [tuneless] ♪ Gonna learn to sing! ♪ Aaah! -We’ve got a lot of work to do.
-Agh! ♪ Wa-oah ♪ We’ll start with… breathing. -[tuning note]
-♪ Aaah! ♪ Give me that! You have got to learn
so much more than singing. -I’ve been breathing since I came in here!
-Stop talking! Start breathing. You’re breathing weird. Breathe normal. -It’s hard with you watching me!
-Oh, ho, ho. Really? Singing is even harder.
Now balance these books on your head. Ha! Do I sing now? Let me answer your question
with a question. Are you breathing now? [gasps] Ginger’s not the only one who will be on
stage at his school’s singing competition. The school has asked me
to be the comic-host. Really? Out of everyone
they could have picked? I struck a deal with Ms. Vanthrax to proofread some math tests
in exchange for stage time. I’ve even reworked my act specifically
to appeal to children. Listen. Hello, kids. I’m Ben. But because you’re children, calling me
by my first name would be inappropriate. Call me, Mr. Ben! -[feedback]
-Okay, you got my attention. -Let’s hear that joke.
-[sighs] That was the joke. Well, you know best I guess, but if it was
me, I’d just call myself Mr. Boogers. You can’t honestly believe
anyone would laugh -just because I called myself Mr. Boogers?
-Ha! Mr. Boogers? That’s hilarious!
I was wrong, you got this, Ben. -[laughing]
-Huh. Mr. Boogers! Angela? Hm. -Angela!
-[Angela] Stop! [screams] [chuckles] Okay! Yesterday’s lesson was weird,
but I’ve got my eyes on the Whizbee prize. So, let’s start singing! -Oh, you’re not singing yet!
-What? -This Whizbee bear is your lesson today.
-But I need to sing. No, no, no. Love first. Then sing. Now love that bear! No! Why are you doing this? [giggles] You have to trust me. [giggles] Open your eyes. Agh! I just want to sing!
I’m so confused! Ha-ha. Well guess what, Ginger.
You’re about to get a lot more confused. [dramatic music] Aahhh! -Ah.
-All right, Ginger. I know you were waiting for this moment,
and it’s finally here. -Ha-ha!
-It’s time… -to…
-Yay! To sing? Nope! To sweep. What? This is too far, Angela. I thought I would do anything
for the Whizbee, but I won’t clean. I’m your singing coach.
You have to do what I say. None of this is teaching me anything! The competition is tomorrow and this is
the most noise I’ve made all week! There is a lot to singing
that you don’t know. I quit singing! Thanks a lot, Angela! Hm. Maybe I went too far. [crying] -Ginger, what are you doing here?
-Not crying, that’s for sure. You should be on your way
to the competition. It’s in a half hour! I’m not going.
Angela didn’t teach me anything. All we did was breathe
and stare at a light. It was terrible! Well, I’m sure all that stuff Angela did
is good for singing? -It’s not.
-Hi, Tom! Before I go to the competition, I’d like to test a few final
comic premises for my hosting banter. -Ben, I’m sort of dealing with–
-Yeah, ahem. What’s the deal with cafeteria food? Given the state of the budget
and how many mouths you have to feed, it’s surprisingly… nutritious! Hahaha. -[Ginger crying]
-Um… What happened to Mr. Boogers? Mr. Boogers? [laughing] Oh, that’s just what I needed to hear
on a bad day like this! -Thanks, Ben.
-I am not doing Mr. Boogers! Look, Ben’s not going to get a single
laugh, but he’s still going out there. You’ve got to admire that.
He’s not a quitter. Well, maybe I am a quitter. A quitty quitter from Quitter Town! Ah, but wouldn’t you rather be
a trying trier from Trying Town? Hm. [upbeat music] Ha-hello, ladygirls and gentleboys. [feedback] -Ba-ba-ba… Uh….
-[feedback] I am here to be your host, but not like
an organism afflicted by a parasite, because that would make
you all parasites. Hm? Yeah? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Good one, Ben! Thank you, Hank. -[nervous laugh]
-Hey. Are you here to support your star pupil?
That’s what I’m doing for Ben. I don’t know. I don’t even think
Ginger’s going to be here. I made him really mad.
I just wanted to help. Me too. Oh! I’d better get back to it. …You kids can call me, Mr. Ben. [feedback] Of course, you might also know him
by his other name. -Which is…?
-What are you doing, Hank? [sighs] Mr. Boogers. [cheering] [kids shouting] Mr. Boogers! Mr. Boogers! All right. Settle down. Mr. Boogers
has got a great show for you. -Let’s bring out our first act, Jenny!
-[screams, cheers] ♪ I want my pink bag
I want my pink bag back ♪ ♪ I want it back! ♪ [beatboxing] Hey! Hey! [opera singing] -All right! Let’s hear it for Ronnie.
-[cheering] Oh, no. Ginger’s up next. Let’s bring up our last contestant
with a big round of boogers– -[laughter]
-I mean, applause… for Ginger! -[cheering, applause]
-Ginger? -This is all my fault!
-[door opens] Ginger, I’m really sorry. -I was just trying to show you how–
-You showed me enough! -Let’s just get this over with.
-That’s the spirit! You got this, buddy. -[booing]
-[Ginger] This is terrible. I don’t know what I’m doing.
I can’t even breathe. Huh? Stop talking! Start breathing! Wait a minute… breathe.
She was preparing me the whole time. But I still don’t know what to sing about. Love first, then sing. Wow! I understand now! Hey, everybody. This goes out to someone
who showed me a lot more than I realized. -[piano playing]
-Ah! I think he’s talking about me. -He’s talking about me.
-[Ginger] And that person is Angela. Maybe he’s talking about both of us. [overdramatically]
♪ It’s crazy! It’s amazey! ♪ ♪ It’s the best toy in the world! ♪ ♪ Oh, aaahhh! ♪ ♪ Oooh ♪ ♪ For every boy and girl ♪ ♪ It’s the Whizbee
Oh, whizzy-whizzy-whizzy ♪ Oh, Whizbee
Oh, my Whizbee ♪ ♪ Oo-aaa ♪ ♪ Oh, Whizbee ♪ ♪ Yeaaah ♪ [cheering] Oh, yeah! [sobbing] Oh! -Great song, Ginger.
-Thanks! Looks like we picked a winner! Just like we picked a booger. [feedback, awkward murmur] Whatever. What happened? They’re getting older, Ben. Maturing. That
easy booger stuff doesn’t work anymore. [cheering, applause] [laughter]

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Dennis Veasley

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