3… 2… 1… Right in the balls! The Pakistani batsman says sorry not sorry as Cartwright tries not to vomit everywhere. He checks if he still has a dick. You can really understand why this position is called silly point. You’d have to be fucken insane to be passionate about fielding here. Here comes a fast bowl, oh he’s hit that into his own baby maker! Surely that was not the master plan. This has gotta be a certain catch, no he’s not gonna make it it’s heading for the dick! Got it! *pained laughter* That was a cunt of a trick shot. Gee whiz, his teammates are happy it had nothing to do with their bishops. This sheila is like “OMG that was so funny.” And she makes a cock of herself. The Dick Gods are dishing out instant karma. Ohhh fuck that, fuck it. No, no, no, no, no fuuuck off. Ahhh. Freeze time and space, freeze it, freeze it, NOOO! Who the fuck even invented cricket? I can see why it hasn’t caught on in the U.S. This vision is like the Predator movies. We don’t need to see that. Oh it looks like the umpire just took a bullet. Let’s see what happened exactly, he tries to jump over it but fails miserably. His brain had a choice of going up, down, left or right. Unfortunately, it chose to go up. He’s like “why the fuck did I leave my box on the bedroom dresser.” Even the great Brian Lara took one in the family jewels from time to time. Back in the days when Australians had Big Fuck Off Moustaches and doctors were more hands on with their treatment. Anyway, hands off cocks on with socks. The game always go on.

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Dennis Veasley

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