– Do you interact with people a lot? – Every day. – Do you have crying people at work? – Sometimes people cry. – That could be hair salon
receptionist, though, because I’ve cried at the
hair salon before too. (playful music) – [Crewwoman] Hello. – Hello! – [Crewman] What’s your name?
– Lauren. – Dae.
– I’m Curtis. – [Crewman] What do you do for a living? – I bartend right now.
– I am a YouTuber. – I’m a YouTuber. That means I make YouTube
videos and get paid for it. (whooping) – [Crewman] So today you’re gonna play match job to person.
– Great. – I feel like I’m gonna
be really bad at this. – [Crewman] Will you just
kinda go through those and read those jobs out loud? – Scientist, hair salon receptionist, teacher.
– A dean of students. It’s gonna be a woman
with a stick up her ass, like, just very bitchy. – Stimulated patient. Oh, simulated patient. That’s very different. – I feel terrible
guessing an exterminator. – [Crewman] Why? – Because then you’d be like oh, you look like an exterminator? – Oh, teacher vibes, right off
the bat, right off the bat! (laughter) – This guy comes into my bar all the time. (laughter)
I know you. I have no idea what you do. Hello.
– Hi. – What’s your name? – Abby.
– Abby, nice to meet you. (playful music) (laughter) – What was that? What’d you just do? – I just looked, because
I was about to say she’s, like, something sad, but there are a lot of sad looking people in this. (laughter) – Do you like children?
– I like my kids. I don’t like all children. – Sounds like a teacher. – Do you have a lot of free time, like you like do fun things? – Yeah, I really like to read.
(laughter) – Ew! That is a teacher.
(laughter) – Hi.
– Corky. – Corky?
– Yeah. – Oh, great name.
– Thanks. – [Lauren] I mean, you
seem, like, super warm, friendly, do you have family or kids? – Not that I know. – Not that you know of, okay!
(laughter) – Are you high?
– What? (laughter)
Why would you say that? – Well, you look like the teacher that would like confiscate
your students’ weed but like smoke it after school. (laughter) – I don’t know if it’s a
longshoreman or a longshoreman. Do you know what they do? – Uh, they deal with boats, containers. You know, the container
ships that come in? – Yeah, that looks like you, for sure. I’m confident on that. – I’m gonna go exterminator. You seem like you could kill a good bug forcefully without any fear. – Thank you. – You’re welcome. – You’re the best.
– Go tug those boats. – Hello.
– Hello. – I’m Dae.
– I’m Nora. – Oh my gosh, you give
me like teacher vibes. I kinda feel like I’m in trouble. (laughter) Feel like I didn’t
do my homework or something. – Do you like kids? – I have a kid. – Okay, do you like–
– I like him. – You like him. Are you
pretty strict with him, on like what he can and can’t do? – A little bit. He’s a rule
follower, so it’s helpful. – Because you enforce rules. – We manage expectations. – That’s a dean.
(laughter) That’s a dean for sure. – You seem like you’re hiding something. You’re putting up a wall
right now, you know? – I know where the bodies are buried. (nervous laughter) – Well, funeral director it is. (laughter) – Hello.
– Hello. – How are you?
– Good, how are you doing? – I’m good.
– Nice handshake. What were you like growing up? – Troublemaker. – Not the like school type? – I was smart. I just didn’t–
– Didn’t apply yourself, okay. (laughter) – I’m gonna say teacher. – Why do you think I’m a teacher? – Okay, because I feel like I’m
being tricked in this video. – How many teachers do you
know that have tattoos? – That’s exactly why I’m guessing. I’m gonna say teacher. – Do you work a 9-5?
– Most days. – How much vacation do you get? – A lot. Vacation is why I have the job. – Okay, we’re going teacher,
we’re going teacher. – Thank you.
– Thanks, teach. – Hi.
– Hello. I’m seeing cute shoes, great hair. – Thank you. – Do you interact with people a lot? – Every day. – Do you have crying people at work? – Sometimes people cry. – That could be hair
salon receptionist though, because I’ve cried at the
hair salon before too. (laughter)
Gimme a hug. Like, a comforting. Ooh, that was solid!
(laughter) That was a solid hug! – I think that I’m looking
at hair salon receptionist. Pretty girl, has a nice smile. People like wanna look at you. – On the phone?
– Yeah, but like, you’re the first person
someone sees when they walk in. – Yeah. – Hello.
– Hello. – You have good hair too! You could be like a musical
roadie or something. – I am a roadie! – No way, part time? – Occasionally, yeah. – Occasional, really? That’s not on the list, but
I should get that point. (laughter)
– Yes. – I’m gonna go with
scientist right off the bat. I see you all the time and I know there’s a lot of labs
around my restaurant. – Thank you, do the honors for me. – Perfect. – Thank you, my friend.
– You’re welcome. – Hello. – I’m Joe.
– Yo. You like kids?
– Yeah. – Pretend I’m a kid. Pretend I’m your kid. I don’t wanna get off my iPad. Discipline me. – Dae, I need the iPad right now. – Fuck you. – Well.
(laughter) You can just give me the iPad right now, and then you can have it again later next time you want it, or
if I have to take it away, then you’re not gonna get
to use it for like a week. – Ooh. Here.
– Thanks. – You’re a dean of students.
– [Joe] Why do you think that? – That was very, uh, dean like. Bam.
(laughter) – You must be the scientist. – Why? – I don’t have any more options. (laughter) – You like, broke your foot or something. – I dropped a piano on it. – You dropped a piano? – Well, my brother dropped a piano on it. – He sucks. Do you know what a simulated patient is? – It’s, like, a patient who’s not real. – Oh my god, you’re faking a broken foot to go get drugs.
– For the Vicodin. (gasping)
– Bitch! I just crushed it.
(laughter) Did I get it at the end? (laughter)
You guys! – [Crewman] How many do
you think you got right? – Four.
– I think I got them all right. Why would I guess something
I think is not right? – [Crewman] With a show of hands, who did Dae get correct? – Boom!
(scattered giggling) Whoa!
(laughter) I never got zero before. (laughter) – Oh no! – Yes, yes! Oh wait, that means I got
someone else right, no? (laughter)
– No. – Damn! – Yes!
(giggling) Cool. – [Crewman] Change to the
right placards, please. (indistinct murmuring) – Oh my god. Oh my god!
(laughter) What?! – What grade do you teach? – Um, high schoolers. – Cute. Oh dang, you have all
the 14 year old girls after that nose ring. – Not my target demographic.
(laughter) – That’s good. (playful music) – I still don’t fully
know what that means. (laughter) – So I pretend to be sick
for medical students, so that they can practice
their bedside manner. – Oh!
(giggling) – Do you get to like
pick a random illness? – No, I’m trained on specific ones. – Like what? – Late term labor, UTIs. – Are you an actor then? For like, do like–
– Yeah. Ready, okay. Um, so I have to pee
like every 20 minutes. It’s like really annoying.
– You’ve got a UTI? – Yeah, ding, ding, ding. (laughter)
(clapping) You should be a doctor! – Can you explain to me
what a longshoreman is? Or is it longshoreman? – It’s longs. Now you got me saying it.
– See? – Longshoreman. Container ships come in, take
them off, put them back on. Let them go.
– [Dae] Nice. What do people ship the most? – It could be random
goods, for like Target or, uh, cars. – How much do you make, can I ask? Ooh, he makes money. Like, could you be a sugar daddy? – I could.
(laughter) – We like that. That’s fun. – Yo, you’re so funeral director-y. (laughter) What I gave you originally was the dean. I feel like those are two
kind of like similar things, like if you can console crying people, you can console children as well. – Yeah. – What was the biggest surprise
that you had from your job? – Sometimes it’s surprising how
much relief I see in people. They’ve been with their loved one through a long illness,
they’re relieved it’s over. – Are you a hair salon receptionist? Do they do your hair? Do they wash your hair? Do you get free washes?
– All the time. But were you surprised?
– Hell no! I mean, look at your hair, it’s beautiful. – Yeah, I definitely like
gender stereotyped this one. I apologize for that.
– Don’t apologize, it’s cool. – You have pretty hair.
– I like the job because it allows me to
take off a lot of time and travel whenever I want. – So you’re really cute
for not a cute job. Do you like have the heebie
jeebies over stuff like this? – Not really. Most of our kills are fresh
kills, so it’s not that gross. You just dog poop bag style. – Yeah, no, that’s gross.
(laughter) – When it’s really gross is when they’ve been sitting for a bit, and
they’re maggot-y and smelly. But you get the grabber pull.
– No no, you don’t. – So you can grabber pull it.
– No. (laughter)
– Into– That was surprising.
– Ew, ick. Nice to meet you.
(laughter) – Are you surprised?
– That you’re a scientist? – Yes.
– Honestly, I thought you could be anything. You could be a scientist, Jesus. I’m not surprised.
– What kind of scientist? – I try to cure people
who have genetic problems, so I use viruses to
deliver genes to cure them. – Wow. – Hey.
– Hot teacher, what’s up? (laughter) English.
– No. – [Lauren] Math.
– No. – [Lauren] Art.
– No. – [Lauren] Music.
– No. – Gym.
– No. – What else is left?
(laughter) Science! Are your students gonna watch this? Yo, they’re gonna be so stoked about this! – Yeah.
(laughter) – How old do you teach? – Freshmen and sophomores mostly. – Do you like them? – Yeah, they’re cool.
– You like do not like them. – No, it’s endless entertainment. I actually really do
like working with them. – Do your students like you? – Some of them do, and some
of them probably think, well, actually, I know for a fact some of them think I talk too much. – You’re literally a teacher. Isn’t that like the job?
(laughter) Stupid. – I don’t remember what
job I guessed you with. Scientist?
– Scientist, because it was the only one left. – Oh.
(laughter) I mean, it’s like in the–
– Not at all. (laughter) – Do you still love me?
– No. (laughter) – Alright, dean of students. That to me, screams like, (whispers)
bitch. – I don’t think any of my students would describe me as a bitch. – So are you like his boss? – I would work with him if
he could get kids’ iPads. – What’s the most discipline
you had to give a kid? – I’ve expelled students before. We had a kid this year steal
a car from a neighborhood, and then like drive it
around the parking lot. – What happened with the
kid who stole the car? – I mean, he went to juvie.
(laughter) – I’m learning so much. – So I did really bad. I thought that was so easy,
I thought I crushed it. – Raise your hand if I insulted you? Mister D is like slowly–
(laughter) – [Crewman] Who would you
most like to apprentice under? – I would love to sit in your class and see all the girls be like (squealing indistinctly)
(laughter) – [Crewman] What’s the job you’d most like to apprentice under? – Maybe like a dean of students. I do not think I would be good. – No, I don’t.
(laughter) I don’t think you’d enforce rules! – Uh-huh! – I feel like you’d probably get along with the students really well, and then be kind of lax with them. – Yeah, really, fuck it up!
– You’d be like– (applause)
(overlapping mumbling)

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “Match the Job to the Person 2 | Lineup | Cut”

  1. Follow the cast on IG!

  2. the yellow girl at the beginning was like "what the hell is up with you, you just told me hi ten minutes ago" 😂

  3. Curtis is such a sassy bitch, I get it you're guessing people's job but don't insult them. Act like a professional and respect people like you would want then to treat you.

  4. The guy in the snakeskin shirt sounds really gay-ish, no offense, gay=yay, but like, he's really cute! And I love gay people not gonna lie, Idk if he is, but yeah lol

  5. DIY queen
    Yeah you know what’s up
    it’s the diy queen
    I forgot the lyrics
    LAURDIY FANS!!!!!!!!
    Like if you love Lauren

  6. Does anyone else want to see someone who goes in there and gets everything right like Sherlock Holmes Stile?

  7. 2:53
    Tik to,: what was your style as a youngster? RuThLeSs, mY sTyLe iS a JuVeNiLe rAn WiTh tHe GaNg————— whatever more words

  8. yea, so the dean of students is sort of a bitch lmfaooooo she got so defensive but was rude the whole time and after he said that too …lolll

  9. lol. I was a dean of Students for 20 years…was pretty relaxed,honestly didn't give a fuck about most of the rules. Pretty much just showed up to collect my check, fuck around with the cool kids and persecute the shit out of the ones that bullied other kids. My best days were when I spent the morning hanging out in my office with a few of the kids I liked, after giving them passes to skip class, then spend the afternoon suspending bullies and laughing when their parents tried to get me to change my mind.

  10. 4:19

    Guy: “pretend I’m a kid, pretend I’m YOUR kid

    Guy: id wanna get off my iPad, disaplant me

    Teacher: Dave I need the iPad right now

    Guy: FAQ YOU!

    1 day later

    Mom makes a funeral of me bc I died of laughter

    Lmao this guys so funny tho 😤😂😂🤣🤣

  11. As soon as the scientist started talking about what he does I was like "omg, I am not even a little bit surprised he's a scientist."

  12. I was trying to think of my response to what I like to do, and I realized my answer would be that I love storytelling in all its forms, like TV shows, movies, books, plays, etc. I'm an author. So yeah, I think they would guess mine pretty quick.

  13. Lmao I jus LOVE the tall gay guy. Would love him as a bestie let’s be real haha much love. Theses vids are so cute & I would absolutely love to take a shot & participate in any of these lol😜💕✌🏼✌🏼

  14. You guys should do match the person to the house, like get people and take pictures of their houses, and they have to guess who's house is who's.

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