Introducing… “Luigi’s Hide and Seek with a Balloon”! I’m gonna hide my balloon. I got the perfect spot already. Ain’t nobody gonna find it here. Goddammit… Come on! Get-!
Ou- Fucking bitch… Get on! Get- God! Ahh, Ahh… Let’s go! Fuuuuck… -jump is impossible! It-
It- It can’t be done! It can’t be done! Come on, Mario. Think back to what I told you. If you don’t make this, I’m gonna kill you. Okay. Come on, come on, come on. Come on! Eh! EH! Ta-
Ooh!!! Boo! Okay, here we go! Here we go! That was the easy part. Now it’s time for the tricky part. Okay.
Just gotta get up here… Now, just gotta jump off at the exact right time so the hat comes to him. Eh! Ah! Huh? Huh? Hoo! *wheezing* Yes! *Laughs* Yes! Go ahead and find that balloon, you stinking animals! *Laughs* Okay.
That guy hid it there. That guy hid it there, that guy hid it there, that guy-
He didn’t! He did, he did, he did… Oh, this is an easy one! Look! Oh. What- What did you do? He hid it under the bridge. What am I, stupid? What am I, stupid pills? Oh. Wait.
No, he- Oh, he did a wall glitch! He did a wall glitch! You fuck- It’s okay, guys! I know how to do the wall glitch. Watch and learn, boy-! Okay… It’s easier to do it with the motorcycle. I’m gonna do the mot- Just gotta put it at the right angle- Aah… Get in there. Yeah! Oooooh!! Come on! Yee- Whoa! *Laughs* Get in there, fucking thing! Get in there!
It’s imp- *GASP* NO! No!
I was in the wall! NO! NO HO-HO! If you put a balloon in the wall, fuck you! My heart tells me that it’s somewhere in this area… *sniffing* I’m stinking… I think I smell a ballo- There it is! There it is! *Laughs* Gotcha! Oh, come on! This is an easier one Once you knows where it is, really. Just gotta jump down… Oh, shit!
No! *Laughs* Look, it’s ChriZz! What’s he up to now? Ooh!
He’s putting it over in that spot. Eh, I don’t know, ChriZz… That spot just isn’t a challenge to a guy like me. Watch and learn, boys. And there it is. Ahhh… ChriZz. You disappoint me. Bowser?!
What are you doing playing Mario? 7 seconds to go 260 meters. That sounds fair.
Okay! 5… 4… Okay. Yeah! We’re doing good! Oh! Oh, just… Oh, just almost there. If- How the fuck? He-
He must used GameShark™ There’s no other way. He has to be- How the hell did he make it so far? Oh. *gasp* OHH… The frog, of course! Of course!
The frog! And then you-
Ooh! And then-
Oh, yeah. And then you gotta-
Ooh! Ooh! And then you gotta come up here and say… Ooh, okay! Okay, Bowser! You want to play like that?
All right! and then you gotta get the-
Ooh! Ho, ho, ho, ho! Okay! And then you gotta jump off… I get it now! And then… And then you use GameShark™ to get the rest of the way. Fucking Bowser, cheater! Come on, baby!
Come on! Come on!
*Laughs* This is looking like-
*mumbling* *Breathing and laughing* Come on, make it! Fucking Bowser!
Fuck you! This is the one. Come on! Grrr!!! GRRRH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Got a good feeling about this one. Got a-
Oh! Fucked it up. When I get this… I’m gonna send Bowser an angry letter in the mail… Get- Get- Ooh! Ho!
Get it, get it! *Laughs* Fucking Bowser! Look at you! You look so stupid now! Give me my 450 coins. What should we do next?
Oh! Oh, this one is a freebie. Everybody puts it up there. Let’s just get that one. You see what they do? This is the most unoriginal one. You get the flower. Yeah. And then you just go on this thing and it-
it’s on the top of the cup. Yep. And…
Easy! Oh, yes. Sometimes, they put it in the cup. Not very original, guys. Eh… What? Where the hell- Oh!
*Laughs* He- He fucked me over! This is my best hiding spot ever! Nobody is ever-
Look at this! Boom! How- Nobody is ever gonna get that one! Eh, wait! Nobody watching the video get that, okay? Well, well, well! If it isn’t BOWSER trying to play the game again! I don’t think so, guys! I’m just gonna follow this Bowser around, all day, and pop every single balloon he puts down. So he knows that he CANNOT beat me in this Mario game. Ever! Ever, Bowser! Okay? Unless he uses GameShark, like he did here. *Making the sound of an old engine* Boung! Pa! Ooh, Bowser.
Look at you now! Ooh!! Get that shit out of my face, Bowser! This is a fucker one. This guy is saying-
He’s saying “Look, I’m gonna make you come all the way out to this alley” “and…” “I’m not even gonna invite you to my birthday party”. “And at the same time,” “I’m gonna be a dickhead!” “I’m gonna be a-
And I’m gonna be a dick” “and I’m gonna put the balloon way out here.” Look. And we have a fucking wise guy here, ladies and gentlemen. No. It’s fine!
He thinks he’s good. He thinks he’s good but he’s-
He’s shit! I’m the fucking worst ever! “I’m gonna put…. put it over here!” Oh my god… Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! HOOOOO!!! Come on! Eh! Eh! Ah, fuck! *Laughs* BBBBBBBBBBB- Aah! Come on… Come on! This a- This is the one! This is the- *wheezing* No! All right, Dinkleberg! You wanna use- You wanna-
No, you wanna use fucking GameShark to play Mario? A GameShark?
All right! All right, fuck fuck! Well, guess what? I got Action Replay™. Ya little bitch… Bowser?! You again?! What are you up to this time, Bowser? Ah! What? How did he… How did he get it all the way up there? Oh, you know what he did? He jumped off the taxi- Yep, he said
“Surf’s Up!” then he came up here, flipped onto the thing then he said
“Bap, Bing!” then he said
“Hey!” then he said
“HOOO!!!” “Ahhh!!!” then he said
“Bowser Time!” and then he flipped onto the-
And yeah! Yep! Yep! and he- He… Bowser, you can’t beat me.
I’m in your mind. What the hell shit is this? This is the hardest thing yet. I’ve never even been up here before! *gasp* He’s- He did it! He did- Ye- Okay!
Now that I know where the balloon is. That’s the tricky part, really.
The- *clock ticking* What kind of inhuman monster puts a balloon up here? This isn’t even fun anymore. This is stupid! This-
Fuck you, Mario! Okay! Okay! This time will be THE TIME. *gasp* What the fuck??? I did- I did it! *Laughs* That shit is the stupidest shit in video game history! That jump… …to get over the purple mountain…. That is virtually impossible! I hereby FORBID anyone from putting a balloon in that spot. Because that’s where I’m putting my balloon. They ain’t never gonna fucking get this one! [Outro]
♪ “Super Bell Hill” (Acoustic Guitar Cover) – Super Mario 3D World ♪