I lied to my husband that I was good at tennis and had to have secret lessons when he arranged a doubles match. Oh. All right, there we are. Lee? Why would you lie about that? – Because he wasn’t my husband at the time and I was trying to…
– Woo him?
– Woo him. He’s very sporty, so I told him I could ski… LAUGHTER – ..told him I could play tennis…
– Did he ask you skiing?
– He took me. Did you have to learn to ski? It was truly terrible. Somebody called Joost taught me to ski. – Joost?
– I can recommend Joost. Skiing! Yes, so I went and booked some lessons. – What was the instructor called?
– Oh, God, I can’t remember. And yet Joost… Like that. Yeah, but Joost was like… Keeley, Keeley, keep it together, it’s falling apart. Yeah, no, I can’t remember. What was the first thing you learned on the tennis court? – How to bounce the ball.
– And how do you bounce the ball? – Like that.
– That was a quick bounce.
– Well, it’s only that big and it’s only there to there. Tell her gravity would have taken it a bit longer. Were you playing on the Moon? It’s not just gravity, you can give a bit of force. – You can impart an impulse to it, yeah.
– That’s it! – The rate of change of momentum is proportional…
– Don’t push it! LAUGHTER Did you, ah, did you win? – I got there and I feigned… an ankle problem.
– What problem? Because I saw, when I got there, how good they were going to be. – So…
– It was to impress him. I didn’t think he’d start involving other people. Is he a man for involving other people, in general? Hang on a minute. Brian, we’re not at a physicists’ convention now. We’ll keep this clean, please. Now, listen here, listen here, did your husband ever find out about these secret lessons? – I told him.
– You came clean.
– I came clean on the night that I made him dinner, pretending that I’d cooked it, and then he… LAUGHTER Your whole life is a fabrication! I gave it to him in the dark, then he found the Tesco Express box. – Oh, no.
– And then it all came out.
– Did it? I said, “I can’t play tennis and I can’t cook”. “My name’s not Jeff.” And, um… – So what are you going to say? Truth or lie?
– Kevin, true or lie? – I think it’s true.
– You think it’s true?
– I’d believe that.
– What do you think?
– True. – I’ll say it’s true.
– So you’re saying it’s true? Oh, all right. Keeley, truth or lie? It’s absolutely true. Well done, team. I doubted that one. APPLAUSE Yes, it’s true. Keeley did lie to her husband that she was good at tennis and had to have secret lessons when he arranged a doubles match. I had a relationship go wrong because I couldn’t play tennis, but I should never have told that bloke I was Sue Barker.

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Dennis Veasley

70 thoughts on “Keeley Hawes and her tennis lessons – Would I Lie to You? [CC]”

  1. There was a Comic relief episode of Would I Lie to you, I've never seen it, I feel like Jimmy Carr was on it or someone like him. Anyway do you have the episode or any clip from the episode?

  2. Hello Wilty Nope! Small niggle here, but I'd just like to add that I'm 99% certain that 'Yust' is actually 'Joost' which is a Dutch name which is very prevalent among skiing instructors.

  3. This reminds me of the scene from Fresh Prince where Will and his girlfriend are stuck in a room together and she then removes her wig, her fake nails, fake eyelashes, high heels…well, fake everything. His bewilderment at seeing how much of her was artificial was hilarious.

  4. Wait, that was true?
    Who in their right mind would stay with such a deceitful person? That's absolutely mental. 0.o

  5. All the comments are like "Oh, she's so adorable to lie like that, I'm in love." When I know you wouldn't be saying that about her if she was ugly. She is (or at least was at the time of the lies) interiorly reprehensible and you shouldn't give her a pass on that because she is pretty. Thinking, I wonder why her first marriage fell through.

  6. How is a man supposed to have a conversation with her when she looks like that. Honestly some women are too stunning for words. I wud slur my words if she spoke to me. All id be thinkin about is how wud her lips feel on mine. Sorry for being a creep. Just sayin

  7. I feel like if she was less attractive with a sweet voice there would be much more of an issue of her being a liar in this story .

  8. I wonder if it's a British politeness thing but I find it interesting that everyone referred to Keeley's husband as her husband without name-dropping him. For some reason I was expecting someone to say Matthew Macfadyen at some point.

  9. okay I genuinely thought this was Una Foden from The Saturdays until I read the description. They look so similar!

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