I lied to my husband that I was good at tennis and had to have secret lessons when he arranged a doubles match. Oh. All right, there we are. Lee? Why would you lie about that? – Because he wasn’t my husband at the time and I was trying to…
– Woo him?
– Woo him. He’s very sporty, so I told him I could ski… LAUGHTER – ..told him I could play tennis…
– Did he ask you skiing?
– He took me. Did you have to learn to ski? It was truly terrible. Somebody called Joost taught me to ski. – Joost?
– I can recommend Joost. Skiing! Yes, so I went and booked some lessons. – What was the instructor called?
– Oh, God, I can’t remember. And yet Joost… Like that. Yeah, but Joost was like… Keeley, Keeley, keep it together, it’s falling apart. Yeah, no, I can’t remember. What was the first thing you learned on the tennis court? – How to bounce the ball.
– And how do you bounce the ball? – Like that.
– That was a quick bounce.
– Well, it’s only that big and it’s only there to there. Tell her gravity would have taken it a bit longer. Were you playing on the Moon? It’s not just gravity, you can give a bit of force. – You can impart an impulse to it, yeah.
– That’s it! – The rate of change of momentum is proportional…
– Don’t push it! LAUGHTER Did you, ah, did you win? – I got there and I feigned… an ankle problem.
– What problem? Because I saw, when I got there, how good they were going to be. – So…
– It was to impress him. I didn’t think he’d start involving other people. Is he a man for involving other people, in general? Hang on a minute. Brian, we’re not at a physicists’ convention now. We’ll keep this clean, please. Now, listen here, listen here, did your husband ever find out about these secret lessons? – I told him.
– You came clean.
– I came clean on the night that I made him dinner, pretending that I’d cooked it, and then he… LAUGHTER Your whole life is a fabrication! I gave it to him in the dark, then he found the Tesco Express box. – Oh, no.
– And then it all came out.
– Did it? I said, “I can’t play tennis and I can’t cook”. “My name’s not Jeff.” And, um… – So what are you going to say? Truth or lie?
– Kevin, true or lie? – I think it’s true.
– You think it’s true?
– I’d believe that.
– What do you think?
– True. – I’ll say it’s true.
– So you’re saying it’s true? Oh, all right. Keeley, truth or lie? It’s absolutely true. Well done, team. I doubted that one. APPLAUSE Yes, it’s true. Keeley did lie to her husband that she was good at tennis and had to have secret lessons when he arranged a doubles match. I had a relationship go wrong because I couldn’t play tennis, but I should never have told that bloke I was Sue Barker.