Is this like an anti-establishment thing or something? Britain is an old-fashioned, weird place. Every November, we burn a wooden effigy of a dude who tried to burn down Parliament hundreds of years ago. We turn people we like into Knights. However, the most ridiculous thing that we have is our laws If you wear a suit of armour in Parliament, they’re legally allowed to cut your head off This is ridiculous. That’s not the only dumb British law We’ve got tons of them, and I don’t even know if anyone takes these things seriously. So today I’m going to test that and try and break as many ancient British laws as possible in one day in front of policemen and hope that I don’t get arrested. Do you think that this is a suspicious fish?
– oh definitely You know, there’s a law where it’s illegal to handle a salmon suspiciously. I’ve got the salmon now I have to act suspiciously with it. He’s checking if his car’s locked. That’s how fucking creepy I look. – What’ve you got a fish for?
– Does it look suspicious to you? It doesn’t look suspicious but it looks interesting. It’s not suspicious? Alright I’ll I try harder to be more suspicious. The fuck is that?! Ladies and gentlemen, Would you like to see a man walking past with a fish? Pointless You don’t know if there’s a library nearby do you? Apparently, it’s illegal to gamble in a library. So me, stinking of salmon I’m gonna go and try and make someone bet with me in this library and break that law. ‘Scuse me, Do either of you gamble? Yes, gamble, like Blackjack. We don’t have to play for money if you don’t want to I’ve got a Sashimi-quality fish. ‘Scuse me, I’ve got a great game of Blackjack Sorry if I smell. How come you’re doing this? I’m trying to break as many ancient laws as I can in a day. You going again? Oof, bust. 10p for me. I was gambling in a library! I’m gonna walk right into that building there in a suit of armour. Something that apparently you’re supposed to get your head cut off for. – Hi there
– Is it a public gallery? Yes! Um, not sure… if the armour-
– you haven’t got a real sword have you? No, it’s plastic. Sorry, this has never happened! Have a look at the sign, make sure you don’t have any of these.
– I definitely don’t have any of those Why are you dressed as a knight? I’ve just been filming around the corner doing a kids TV thing. – Okay
– Amazing! I just went into Parliament wearing a suit of armour and I still have a head. Right, next one. You can’t shake out a dirty rug in public and also can’t wear an outrageous double ruff or be be sock-less within a hundred yards of the Queen Just shaking the rug Alright wearing a double ruff, being sock-less Is this like an anti-establishment thing or something? Are you filming now? There’s a law against singing a lewd ballad in public. I’m pretty sure Tony Blair lives around here. I’ll try and do a bit of improv. Just gonna sing a song – I’ve written a little song, if that’s okay? If you do it on the other side of the road, yeah. Okay Tony, Tony How are you today? Tony boy Tony, please come out and play You look like a marshmallow Our eyes meet over the piano. Oh I’d love to nestle my head on your Fluffy chest Tony boy, Tony come out and play Well I sang about hooking up with Tony Blair to his window. I guess that’s lewd – that’s another law broken another off the list So stupid I’ve never been to Downing Street before 10 Downing Street: residence of the Prime Minister

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Dennis Veasley

82 thoughts on “I Broke Dumb Laws In Front Of Police”

  1. Copper: "Oi mate, what'cha doin' down there?"
    This lad: "Oh me? I'm just knockin' on the door of the Prime Minster, and poppin' off."
    Copper: "Bloody 'ell, call the SAS! We have a madman on the lose. We need all hands on deck right fuckin' now."

  2. Its not so stupid. People cared more about each other before and related to each other before plus the relations themselves were conducted more in real life than online. Today there is a public disconnect, "individualism" holds high in Britain and all these admittedly silly laws about lewdness or prohibited behaviour hold far less sway. I mean I'm sure if you actually tried setting up a gambling ring in a library you'd get in a lot of heat but who needs that when the British state sponsors casinos now and the internet provides all the fast action any gambling addict or aficionado could need? So while they are silly and unnecessary I wouldn't, to be the party pooper here, call most of them stupid.

    And take facebook now. Poking someone there is like pranking someone in real life with a door knock. But instead of calling the ol'coppers, you can just block that person now. Heck I'd say that's more controlling than before. At least with the coppers you'd have a chance in the past of getting away and repeating your prank an other day!

  3. I don't know why but throughout the whole video, the guard laughing at the end as you knocked and ran fucking killed me.

  4. And, here's a good old Pennsylvanian law: You may not sing in the bathtub.

    Here are some more dumb PA laws:
    It is required that a woman have a permit to wear cosmetics.

    One’s pants may be worn no lower than five inches below the waist.

    All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.

    In the middle of town, one must pay a fee of $50 dollars a year to park on a particular block.

    Horses are not to be tied to parking meters.

    And my personal favourite.

    You cannot walk backwards eating peanuts in front of the Barnstormers Auditorium during a performance.

  5. Billie Eilish: i’m the bad guy
    Me: hold my salmon
    Director: why?
    Me: i don’t know just do it
    Director: mkay
    goes to jail


  6. You will be fined if you have a fancy License Plates on your car in India. You will be arrested if you attempt to commit suicide.

  7. Well the last law you broke in the video is actually called "ding dong ditch" only you use a doorbell but it's about the same thing.v^-w-^v {?)

  8. The police probably don't even know about these laws. If they knew, I would say a few cops would have said something about it.

  9. These days they changed the Salmon for the CAMERA and if you’re near a Government building They will find you very SUSPICIOUS for nothing.

  10. Whenever you are old and boutta die, you should go out with the ultimate flex, and break one more, die in the house of parliament

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