BETH HOYT: Classic Prince,
just like Federer. Hi, you guys. I’m Beth Hoyt. This is MyDamnChannel LIVE, and
today I’m going to teach you how to play tennis. Kind of. You see, the US Open started
this weekend. Also, I went to this Tennis
360 event where I saw Andy Roddick, and I interviewed
some lesser famous tennis people, and I drank
free white wrine– white wine. But mostly I want to
talk about tennis because I love it. Not just because I think Federer
is princely and I want to marry him after he
gets a divorce. I really like tennis. And I’m an expert. So please, you guys. Put any questions about
tennis that you have for me in the chat. I’ll answer them. Or any tips– I’m open to those, too. Let’s take one now. Do we have a comment or a–? Yeah, we do. This is from angelfeelsbored. “I would very much like to see
Beth try and do this face haha.” That looks like boobs to
me, with cleavage, right? Can I see that again? Um– oh, maybe it’s a– oh,
is it like a duck? Don’t you have to have
a beak for that? Anyway, I can do that. I think that was it. Did I get it? It’s either that, or
it’s like this. I’m not sure. OK. First things first. Let’s talk about how you
look to play tennis. I mean, you have to be
a good athlete too. That’s one thing you need to
be a good tennis player. But you’re never going to get
deals with brands if you don’t have a look. And if you don’t get the deals,
then you can’t pay for a personal masseuse. And then what is the point of
being a professional athlete? Right, exactly. There isn’t one. I chose for my look today to
wear a basic top, because I’m not branded yet. Once Nike or whomever decides
to pay me, then I’ll wear their shirts. OK. I’m also wearing basic skirt. I’ll give you this later. And tennis-ball colored shoes. All right. Now let’s get to the hair. I think it’s important to
go with however you feel comfortable. A ponytail is common, tp keep
a common athletic do. I like to wear it down, just
because it’s an added challenge and because it’s
part of the look. You know, like the blond girl,
it’s like you’ve got to make that part of it. You could also wear something
like this. That could– yeah. I’ll do that. And then here’s the thing
with necklaces. You know, there’s always
the jewelry options. it’s like, are you gonna– these are my mother’s pearls
and they’re good luck. Are you gonna do that? Or are you gonna wear something
that’s symbolic, like, oh, I’m the feather
of a bird when I play. Are you gonna do that? Or are you going to be, like,
Michelle Kwan-y, and wear a pendant that’s just like– why are you struggling with
that huge thing, you know? Remember Michelle Kwan with that
necklace she always wore? Could do that. I’m going basic,
basic necklace. It has a B. that means
something to me. And heavy on the earrings,
because there’s then that added challenge and skill
required for it not to poke your eyeball out. Which knowing me could
very well happen. But also, knowing me, my
eyeballs aren’t doing so great, so let’s poke ’em out. OK. We have a comment
from YouTube. And this is from
IMightBeKharla. OK, Maybe Kharla. “Why are tennis balls green?”
That’s a very good question. And it’s because the man
who invented them is named Mr. Green. And they were like, well, what
a great thing we could do for him, than to name these balls
after him and also the Professor Green in– oh,
that’s Professor Plum. Who’s the green one in Clue? Mr. Green. I nailed it. All right. Here’s the next thing you want
to think about, is where you’re going to put– I look like a gypsy with the
earrings and this thing. Let’s just go with–
now I look more like a tennis player. OK. Next thing you have to think
about is where you’re going to put the balls. Because you know how the girls
always just stock ’em places? Don’t the girls just
always like have them in their shorts? So I’m wearing, underneath my
skirt, shorts with pockets. So that’s how you do it. You have to have shorts
with pockets. And then you also want to
put one just, like– I’m also wearing Spandex,
because when you go for a serve so you don’t get any
air in the woo-woo! So I also am going to put one up
there, just in case I need to serve again. Let’s put another
one down here. Stick one right there. And then just to have, just in
case to have two more on hand, we just want to make sure
we have them, you know? Just in case we need them very
last-minute for a serve. Speaking of sticking things up
your butt, you guys, here’s a video from LinkedOut. You’ll see the connection. You’ll get it. Here we go. DR. FRED WILSON: Hi. I’m Dr. Fred Wilson, and I’m
here to tell you about Med Fax, a new app that diagnoses
all of your medical symptoms in just a matter of seconds. Sounds crazy, right? Well, say you want to check
your temperature. All you have to do is open the
app, load the page, and then stick it up your butt. PATIENT: Oh! 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. Cool. DR. FRED WILSON: Yes. That is cool. But what if your throat hurts? PATIENT: Just put
it in my mouth? DR. FRED WILSON: Not so fast. Before you do that, you’re going
to need to go ahead and stick it up your butt. PATIENT: Wait. I put the phone in my mouth
after I stick it in– DR. FRED WILSON: That’s right. Before you know it, you’ll
find out if you have bronchitis, strep, or just
a simple sore throat. PATIENT: [GAGS] Oh. Strep. I guess that’s kind of cool. DR. FRED WILSON: What happens
if you want to take a chest x-ray? PATIENT: Does Med
Fax do that too? DR. FRED WILSON: Sure does. Just place the screen
of the phone on your chest for five seconds. PATIENT: Oh. Nice. DR. FRED WILSON: Now stick
it up your butt. PATIENT: What? DR. FRED WILSON: Podiatry? PATIENT: I think I
can take a guess. DR. FRED WILSON: That’s right. Just stick it up your butt. Gynecology? PATIENT: But I don’t
have a vagina. DR. FRED WILSON:
Doesn’t matter. Just stick it up your butt. Urology? PATIENT: Right. DR. FRED WILSON: Stick
it up your butt. Proctology? PATIENT: Oh, I got this one. Stick it up my butt. DR. FRED WILSON: No. Press the phone against
your lower back. Hold your breath for five
seconds, and then wait for the beep. PATIENT: OK. DR. FRED WILSON: Then stick
it up your butt. PATIENT: Jesus Christ,
are we done here? DR. FRED WILSON: No,
there’s more. Now you can get Med Fax on
your tablet as well. PATIENT: No. No. Absolutely not. Not going to happen. DR. FRED WILSON: Med Fax. Just stick it up your butt. PATIENT: [SIGH] Is that a wrap? STEVE RANNAZZISI: Hey, I’m Steve
Rannazzisi from Daddy Knows Best, and you’re watching
MyDamnChannel LIVE. BETH HOYT: Cool. So another reason I’m thinking
I’m athletic is ’cause we’re working with Bleacher Report
on some stuff. You guys should check out
their YouTube channel. It’s They’re really fun. They’re the guys who I went to
Tennis 360 with, drank some white wine with, and we’re going
to be doing a lot of fun stuff with them in future. Sports. Sportsy-like. OK. Here’s something that’s really
confusing about tennis and you should figure out before
you become a professional tennis player. It’s the scoring. If you know nothing about
it, you might have to get a book on it. It’s very complicated. OK, here it goes. It goes game, set, match. So if you win a game, you’re
like, great, I won! But really, it’s
like, big deal. You have to win six of them. Don’t even give me started
if there’s a tiebreak. It’s very confusing. After you win six, then you’re
like, then you won the set. And you’re like, awesome. Don’t think you get to go
eat a Snickers yet. In the US Open, for example, you
have to play two if you’re a girl, three if you’re a boy. And then those are games. And then you win the match. Did I lose you? Also, love means zero. Which is what I tell myself
on lonely nights. Zing! That was harmful to myself. All right. We have a comment
from YouTube. Satyanlsabella. OK. Let’s do that again. SatyanaIsabella. That’s a tough one. That’s a lot of A’s in there.
“I’d like to know. who Beth is. First time on this channel.”
With this face. A lot of faces, they like– and then just this–. Like to know who Beth is? Where do we begin, you guys? I’m a tennis player
extraordinaire, which is a really big-time athlete. I can handle losing. I like to win. But I don’t often do
that, winning. I’m afraid of octopus,
we learned yesterday. I didn’t, you did. I mean, I’ve known that
for quite a while. I’m afraid of thrills. I’m allergic to chlorine. That’s new. I mean, it’s not to me, again. I’ve lived with it. I am me. These are tennis balls. This is not me. That’s a few things. OK. Now how about I teach you guys
some tennis strokes? Should we do that? We’ll keep going through your
comments and questions, so keep sending those in. All right. I’ve got balls everywhere. Let’s start with one of these. OK. So this is how you serve. Basically you just, you
want to bounce the ball as many times– about 45 times. You just want to really, really intimidate the other person. And what the other person is
doing is just getting more and more nervous, and doing this
hoppy thing to keep, like, the blood circulating through
their legs. OK? So you just keep on
bouncing the ball. You guys can go get a snack
or make a sandwich. I’m still going to just be doing
this before my serve. We have a comment. It’s from ilovecookies98. Who’s your favorite tennis
player and why? It’s Federer. Because he’s, like, a prince. I want to marry him. I really Federer a lot. I mean, I really like– I like Nadal too, and I really
like Serena Williams. I know– I’ve had some arguments with
this about people– with people about this. But I think she’s like
a real athlete. I like watching her play because
she’s a great tennis player, but mostly she’s
just, like, an athlete. Speaking of which, let’s get
into the serve, which is what Serena does. And she just aces it. OK, we got the other
one up in here. Oh. Pull it out of your butt. So then you’re doing this
a million times. And then the grunt you want to
do with a serve, it’s very complicated. Because you’re throwing this up
there– at first you want to throw it up and then
go, oh, no, no, no, the wind, the wind. Then you throw it up again, and
you’re going to want to just slam it as hard as you can,
with a grunt that comes from, like, up here. Because you’re up there
doing that, OK? So I’m not going to use this
ball, but I’m going to show you the example of the motion
and then the grunt. OK, ready? That’s when you throw it,
and then you go– [GRUNT]. That’s a grunt. That’s a serve grunt. OK? The next stroke is from
this tennis– is the forehand. The forehand is just the most
basic stroke, and it just goes like this. Like that. That’s all you do. And then– excuse me. So you go like this, and it’s
just the most basic stroke, so it’s the most basic grunt. So basically– you could
practice this at home. Just get up and do
this with me. It just basically goes,
[BASIC GRUNT]. Just like that. And you want to rotate
on this back foot. [BASIC GRUNT]. It’s like that. The next stroke is
the hardest. And I just always, whenever
I play, just try to make everything the forehand. So if someone hits it to
my backhand, I just go, oh no you didn’t! And I go over here and I hit
it with the forehand. It’s– once in a while, when they
really get me and I’m forced to do the backstroke,
it’s so hard. Right, guys? Backstroke is tough. Unless you’re ambidextrous. Anyway, the backstroke, since
it’s such a hard– since it’s such a hard stroke,
you have to really use a grunt that comes from down here. So that involves being like– ready? So this is when you’re like,
aw, damn you for making me backstroke. You go– [ANGRY GRUNT]. Got it? So this one’s just
[HIGHER-PITCHED GRUNT] . And this one’s [ANGRY GRUNT]. All right. So I’m gonna just hit
a few balls now. Oh, this last one’s just a
little volley, when you just go like this. It’s just a real light,
like, [BREATHY GRUNT]. So. Oh, we have a comment
from YouTube. It’s IsThisAwkwardEnough. Great name! How come I don’t
have that one? “Beth, make the noise
of a sloth. You know you want to.” And then– yeah, I want to. I think– I gotta get rid of the– It’s like this, right? Um. Not that. Nnnnngguunnnh. Is that right? OK. So Nate’s gonna– Nate, can you throw
me some balls? So there are some people here
that are– you guys all– none of you have insurance. I’m going to kill you. We’re going to use– [GIRLY SQUEAL] I wasn’t ready, Nate. That grunt is the
grunt of a girl. That’s a girl’s squeal. That’s not a tennis grunt. I wasn’t ready. I’m going to hit some ping-pong
balls because they don’t want to kill the studio
with tennis balls. But I don’t mind hurting these
guys with ping-pong. Here we go. [BASIC GRUNT] [BREATHY GRUNT] [BREATHY GRUNT] [BASIC GRUNT] This is all forehand. It’s good. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Let me try a backhand. I can try it. [ANGRY GRUNT] Oh. Good, I was feeling
kind of winded. Let’s look at another comment
from YouTube. It’s from cebrengirinis. You guys, this is challenging. “So, in order to play tennis,
is some training in martial arts recommended?” Absolutely. Nate. [BREATHY GRUNT] It’s just to be good
on your toes and also to keep you centered. So– I actually did study aikido in
college, which is weird, because it’s with a bunch of old
men, and I just threw all these old men around. This sounds like I’m
making it up. It’s actually true
and very weird. So that helps you be grounded. And it helps with
the grunting. Yeah, that’s why it helps. So they really do go
hand-in-hand, tennis and martial arts. Next comment. It’s from Try– Try, give, hemming, height. Oh, nice. Nice. “Try pronouncing my name.”
And then a lot of tongues out at me. Yeah. You got me. That was a good joke. It was a really good one. I need to get that out. You got me kind of angsty. [ANGRY GRUNT] Try, give, Hemingway. This is– that’s a grunt using
your username. [BASIC GRUNT] [BASIC GRUNT] [BASIC GRUNT] How am I doing, guys? OK. Let’s do a serve. Here, I’ll do it myself. Oh, gosh. I didn’t say I could
catch balls. Ready? So you bounce and bounce
and bounce. I’m gonna watch– I’m gonna hopefully not– oh, that hits it. This might be dangerous. I’ll do it on my knees. OK. (MUTTERING) That’s
what she said. All right. [SCREAMY GRUNT] That was a perfect serve
grunt, you guys. [BASIC GRUNT] All right. And we have another comment
from YouTube. extreme29. “I’m trying very hard not to
make any dirty jokes.” So was I. So was I. I failed. Did you? Definitely failed. So. All right, let’s keep playing. Unless– Nate, now you’re just throwing
them in my center. I understand that my job is
probably to move, but you could just throw it, make
me look good, you know? [BASIC GRUNT] [BASIC GRUNT] Oh, I hit Nate on that. Oh my god, I didn’t
mean to catch it. I meant to hit it. I think I pretty
much nailed it. That’s how you guys
play tennis. So be sure to subscribe. Thank you for putting in
the comments today. And tune in tomorrow at 4:00
PM Eastern, because our big show is hosted by both
Grace and me. We’re going to be chatting it
up with you guys a lot from the Live Chat. So stay in the chat
until tomorrow. No. Come back tomorrow at 4:00. It’s our big, final,
summer party. It’s going to be really fun. See you then. Bye.

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Dennis Veasley

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