Translator: Ellen Maloney
Reviewer: Denise RQ Hi, my name’s Laura Bates,
and I run the “Everyday Sexism” project, which for anybody
who doesn’t know what it is, is a very simple website
that collects people’s experiences of daily gender imbalance, of anything on the spectrum from the more minor incidents that we’re often told to brush off
and not make a fuss about, all the way through
workplace discrimination, sexual harassment
to sexual assault, and even rape. I set the project up
just under two years ago, and we’ve now received 50, 000 entries
from women of all walks of life, all over the world, but one thing really shocked me
and took me aback about the entries that started to flood in
in the first months of the project. It’s interesting because people often ask,
“What were the most shocking entries?” I think they expect me to reply that they were the most serious ones,
the most harrowing stories. Of course, those were awful
and distressing to read, but the thing that really
shocked me the most was the number of entries we received
from really young women; from little girls,
from university students. It just wasn’t something
that I anticipated. It’s some of those stories
that I want to talk about today and to share some of them with you today, particularly because we’re here
in a beautiful university city, and because so many of the entries
that we’ve received are suggesting that there’s a real problem
at UK universities. I want to take you through
some of the things we’ve heard about, some of the things
that are being reported to us over and over and over again. This all started, and I first noticed
a real spike in activity to the website, the first time
Freshers Week came around, so the first year that the website
had been launched in April. Suddenly, when we hit Freshers Week, I noticed there was a massive surge
in entries to the project. I remember it started,
I remember it vividly: with one email. It came from a girl who was about
to start studying Physics, at a very highly-respected
London university. She forwarded me an email
she’d received from the Physics Society at her university, and the email said, “Freshers lunch:
this will be mainly a chance for you to scope out
who’s in your department and stake your claim early
on the one in five girls.” She wrote that she was going into
an incredibly male-dominated area already, and so here, the boys in her year, her male peers,
were being sent the message – from a university-affiliated
society, no less – to view their female peers, who were in the minority
in this particular course very much, as sexual prey. This was really just the beginning. So many messages and stories
started coming in. Often, they were about Freshers Week
and events going on in Freshers Week, so I actually started having a look at the events that were scheduled
at UK universities that year. You can see behind me, these were
just a few of the events that I found: “Slag ‘n’ drag”, “Tarts and vicars,” “Pimps and hoes,”
“Golf pros and tennis hoes,” “CEOs and corporate hoes,”
“rappers and slappers,” “Geeks and sluts.” At almost every event,
the title sends the message, usually at events that were
sponsored by or in association with the universities these students
were studying at, that men are CEOs, pros, geeks. They’re powerful, talented, intelligent. Whilst women were being valued again
and again by their sexualization alone. The messages we received
were suggesting that this created a really serious sense of pressure
for young women to dress in a certain way. It’s important to say this was not about
a kind of prudish morality ban, it wasn’t saying women shouldn’t dress
in that way if they wanted to. But why should it be a requirement? It felt like fancy dress for the boys
meant something fun, meant dressing up
in a whole variety of different ways. But every time, for the girls,
there was a very clear, very narrow requirement
of how they were expected to dress. It started to feel like it was
about more than just a bit of fun and more like a kind of sexual pressure. This idea of sexual pressure was backed up
by a lot of the stories we received about initiations
and Freshers Week rituals. Again, obviously this is something
that if people want to do, they can, and if it’s a free choice, and if people
are choosing to carry out things, and you talk about things
being a bit of fun. But many of the reports we received
made it all sound quite militant. The idea of “freedom of choice”
is quite complex within this unique situation where, for most students,
it was their first week of university, for many, it was their first time
living away from home. They were anxious to fit in,
keen to make new friends, and it was very difficult to be the person
standing up and saying, “No.” One girl wrote to us in a project entry, “One of the Freshers events organized
by our halls of residence was a girls and guys pub crawl. We were split into one group
of girls and one of guys, and each group went off
on different pub crawl routes. All the girls were encouraged
to wear pink and dress ‘slutty.’ We had to come up with a slut name which the older students encouraged us
to write across our breasts. Upon arriving at each bar, an older student would shout out a word which was code for us
to either flash our tits, or our arse, or dance in a seductive way
in front of the men in the pub. I didn’t take part in this
and didn’t want to adopt a slut name. I was told I was being too uptight, and not getting into the spirit
of Freshers Week. The whole thing culminated in the girls
and guys meeting up in the student union, where we were informed the older students
had organized a competition with prizes. One prize was for the ‘slut’ who collected
the most ties from the guys, the other was for the lad who collected
the most bras from the ‘sluts.’ I walked out on a scene
of groups of drunk male students, forcefully taking off
female student’s bras.” Another entry said, “I went out for the Freshers night
of one of the women’s sports clubs. Our group bumped into
the men’s rugby club in a bar. They were putting their freshers
through their initiation ceremony. All the rugby freshers
had their trousers around their ankles, and were standing in their boxers. They were encouraged
to pick one of us to grind with them. One guy grabbed me,
pulled me on the dance floor, then told me I had to grind on him,
or else he’d have to do a forfeit. When I refused, he told me I was frigid,
and grabbed a different fresher. On the one hand,
I felt ashamed and embarrassed, I felt too uncomfortable to partake fully in what was considered to be
the fun of Freshers Week. On the other, I was kind of ashamed
that I’d taken part in it at all. It ruined my Freshers Week, and left me feeling
isolated and humiliated.” One student said, “It’s very different
for people who feel shy or uncomfortable. You don’t have a choice. There were strict initiations, and you had to do what they said
or you missed out.” Another said, “One of the social
initiations within the first month of uni was to down a bottle of beer
that a man was holding in his crotch. I didn’t realize what we were going to do
as we were facing the other way, when they suddenly shouted,
‘Down it, bitch!’ It was awful, but I felt like such a wet blanket
with everyone cheering on.” Another, “We had an event as part of Freshers Week
where some friends went on stage. A long line of girls was lined up,
and they had to take their clothes off; they were told to race to strip. Then there were competitions
where you had to do various sex positions. They make it out as a great thing, but you get pushed into it,
and it’s not a matter of choice.” These weren’t isolated incidents;
this isn’t cherry-picking. After I started writing about this, I was absolutely deluged with messages
from students up and down the country, who’d experienced similar things
and felt uncomfortable or pressured. There was also a lot of evidence
in what we were hearing to suggest that this kind
of sexual objectification carried over beyond Freshers Week,
beyond the initiations and the rituals. A huge number of students mentioned
specific competitions and point systems for sleeping with freshers,
particularly female freshers, often coming from the older students who were supposed to be there
to look after them to help them settle in. One student described
how, at their student union, there was an ad up on the wall that was looking for people
to help out with Freshers Week. It was a cartoon
of a vulnerable-looking girl with the slogan,
“Want to feel a little Fresher?” Another girl said, “I remember
when I was a Fresher, I heard a couple of male students
discussing a points system for sleeping with female students
while in the laundry room.” Another girl described a night where female freshers
had to dress up as foxes, male freshers had to dress up as hounds, and the second and third-year boys
dressed as huntsmen. The idea was that the hounds
had to catch their huntsmen a fox. Another student said, “At my university, the Freshers Week crew are designed
to help new students, but they get points for scoring
with freshers, especially virgins. We heard about point-scoring systems
where people got bonus points if they took the girl’s virginity
or brought her knickers in. One student said it was called
“seal-clubbing” at her university. At another it was called “sharking,” at another it was simply
called “fuck a fresher.” It seemed to be
such a widely-acknowledged practice that there were colloquial names for it
at different universities. The more you hear about this,
the less harmless it sounds, and the more it sounds
like part of something wider. As one student pointed out
when she wrote to us about a chant that her male peers
had at university that was about “sluts, whores, and slags,” “These are the world leaders, the CEOs,
and the politicians of tomorrow. These are the attitudes
about women and their place that are being drummed into them
from the very first week of university.” It’s important to say that these things
do sometimes happen to boys too. We had one entry from a fresher man who was forced to watch porn
in his underwear, while a fresher woman was told to sit
in his lap to see if he got an erection. But in the main, the stories,
including the ones from men, came in because they were talking about
what had happened to their female peers, seemed to suggest
that this sexualized aspect, and often this undercurrent of misogyny, of making the girls do things
that were embarrassing or degrading, focus much more on women. The men’s initiations
seemed to focus much more on things like drinking
excessive amounts of alcohol or having to eat
disgusting combinations of food. These, again, are not isolated incidents. Many of you will probably know
that in the last year alone, we’ve seen events using the slogan,
“Fuck Me, I’m A Fresher!” promoted at more than one
university in the UK; students have reported being groped,
grabbed, pursued, and propositioned as part of Freshers Week events; we’ve seen a Freshers Week poster
at one university that had picture on it
of a t-shirt with the words, “Last night, I was raping
a woman, and she cried.” We’ve seen students banned for playing
a game called, “It’s not rape if …” The Leeds club night,
“Freshers Violation,” which was advertized on YouTube
using a video of a male fresher being asked what he was going to do
at Freshers Violation, and saying he was going to rape
a female fresher. We’ve seen the video of lads on the bus,
joking and laughing about sexual assault, and about miscarriages. And the boys who went out
in “casual rape” t-shirts – all in the last year alone. So, why does all this matter?
What’s the big deal? It matters because according to a survey
by the National Union of Students, which looks specifically
at female student’s experiences whilst at university, one in seven experienced
a serious physical or sexual assault, Twelve percent were stalked, and 68% were victims
of sexual harassment. It also matters because most perpetrators
were known to the victims, and most perpetrators were students. It matters more than ever
because only four percent of the female students
who were seriously sexually assaulted reported it to their academic institution, and only ten percent
felt able to report it to the police. When they were giving their reasons
for these low reporting rates, they were asked, “Why didn’t you
feel able to report what happened?” Fifty percent said they didn’t report it
because they were ashamed or embarrassed, and 43 percent because they thought
they would be blamed for what happened. Suddenly, importantly, this is where
we come back to the Freshers Week jokes, and the initiations,
the “slag, slut, hoe, slapper” labels, the pressure on female students
to dress in a certain way, often by university-affiliated nights, ideas they’re pressurized to perpetuate, the banterous games
about chasing female students down, hunting them, stripping their bras. Then you look at the statistic that nearly 100% of all students
who didn’t report a sexual assault were either ashamed,
or thought they’d be blamed. Of course it’s not a simple case
of “cause and effect.” Of course it’s not to suggest
a male student will go to these events and suddenly go out, and rape,
or sexually assault a female peer. It’s more complex than that. It’s a case of saying: against
this backdrop, what do we do? Given that we’re dealing with a culture
in which so many female students are experiencing sexual harassment
and assault, what would be useful? Given that we’re dealing with a culture
in which students feel unable to report, and sexual assault isn’t taken seriously,
how might these kinds of stereotypes be contributing to that problem
and to that wider culture? And talking about culture, you might have heard
the term “rape culture” used recently. It’s used to describe a culture in which rape and sexual
violence are common; and in which prevalent attitudes,
norms, practices, and media normalize, excuse, tolerate,
or even condone rape. Online, this frequently focuses
on the students and young women, thanks to websites
like UniLad, The Lad Bible, and Confessions of a Uni Student. I’m talking about entire websites, where even though most
of the articles are about women, you won’t see a single female name, because they are replaced
with “wenches, hoes, clunges, skanks, sloppy seconds, pussy, tramp,
chick, bird, MILF, slut,” and “gash.” They’re part of a growing culture
in which the sexual targeting of female students as prey
is actively encouraged, even when it verges on sexual assault. It’s an atmosphere
in which victims are silenced, and perpetrators encouraged
to see crimes merely as “banter,” just part of “being a lad.” These are websites
with articles saying things like, “Eighty-five percent
of rape cases go unreported. That seems to be fairly good odds.” Websites which describe a female student who has said she doesn’t want
to sleep with you as a “knobstacle course –
just a game to get around.” Websites where posters talking about, “smashing a virgin,
and having blood stains to prove it.” When criticized, these sites,
in their own words, tend to say, “Get a fucking grip.
We’re having a bit of harmless banter.” A recent post that appeared
on one of their Facebook pages describes a graphic incident of a man
knocking a woman “clean out,” with one smack, and leaving her for dead
on the side of the road. Yet this word “banter,”
this cloak of irony, is being used to excuse
mainstream horrific sexism, the normalization and belittling of rape,
and domestic violence. It’s a very clever way of silencing,
because if something’s a joke, it’s very hard to stand up to. If you object to something
and it’s just a joke, then you’re being uptight; the joke’s on you,
you don’t have a sense of humor. The implication is if something’s a joke,
everybody gets it, except you. It isolates victims,
makes it much harder to stand up to. One female student
who wrote to me said, “I don’t find it funny. These pages are not pages for jokes,
there are no punchlines. They’re not sexist jokes; just displays
of sexism, displays of misogyny. I find it threatening,
I find it terrifying. This is not banter.” She asked to remain anonymous because
she said, “I’m afraid of these people. I’m afraid these attitudes
that we thought were ebbing away are coming back with force. I’m afraid that by taking a stand
against pages like this, I will mark myself as a target.” Again, these aren’t isolated incidents. The Imperial College newspaper,
“Felix,” printed a “joke” article which provided male students with the recipe
for the date rape drug, Rohypnol, because they said,
“It was a fool-proof way to have sex on Valentine’s Day,
for cheaper than the price of a hooker.” And Exeter University Society
printed a “Shag Mag” in which it speculated about
how many calories male students could burn by stripping female students naked
without their consent. At one university, the lacrosse team
were given rules that stated, “Members don’t date;
that’s what rape is for.” At another university,
the men’s hockey team held an event where the theme was “rape victims.” It isn’t just something that happens
in clubs or when students go out. It’s something that’s beginning
to become pervasive in all aspects
of the academic experience. You see pages like this on Facebook, where girls, completely unwittingly, in the university library
doing their work, find that their pictures
appear later on on Facebook. We heard from one girl who said there was
a group of lads at her university that started an anonymous page where they talked about girls
who were eating at the canteen, but she said because they didn’t know
who was doing it, she had a choice to make between
not eating/not going to the canteen, or risking that her picture
would end up on Facebook with people talking about “coming”
all over her breasts. On Facebook as well, this banter
about abuse and violence, and other places online
has also proliferated in recent years. These next slides may be very distressing
so they come with a “trigger warning” for domestic violence and sexual assault,
if you feel that you need to look away. [“This bitch doesn’t know
when to shut up. Do you?” “That will teach you to not wash dishes.
Get back to the kitchen.” “It’s not rape. [If she really didn’t want to,
she’d have said something.”] Again, this is all part
of the normalization, of a society in which
we joke about rape, a society in which sexual assault
is just something to laugh about; just banter, just part of being a lad. Against that backdrop,
we get stories like these, “A male student at university with me outright told me I was having sex
with him that night. He was calling me a slag,
a slut, and a whore. He straddled himself across my legs
and started pinning me against the seat, forcing kisses on me,
and saying, ‘Now I’ve got you.'” Another student said, “I was raped
in my second year of university. I had some great support from my family,
and some great therapy. I thought this was the worst part, but when I felt safe enough
to tell my friends, the questions started, Was I drunk? Was I dressed ‘sluttily’? Did I know him? Had I led him on?” In fact, what happens is that boundaries
begin to become so blurred that people aren’t even aware of what
they have the right to be protected from. I often speak in universities
all up and down the UK, and I have a slide which simply says
the definition of sexual assault under UK law, which is that if somebody
touches you anywhere on your body and the touching is sexual,
you don’t consent, and they don’t reasonably believe
that you consent, then it’s a form of sexual assault. But when I talk about it in universities,
young women come up to me afterwards saying, “That can’t be sexual assault
because it’s normal.” “That can’t be assault because it’s just what happens
when am out with my friends.” There’s a massive gap between what people
are protected from under the law, and what society tells women, particularly
young women, particularly at university, is just part of life and just something
they ought to be putting up with. But we can say, “No,”
we can stand up, and we can shout back. We have to start now. No means no. It doesn’t matter what
you’re wearing, where you are, who you’ve had sex with in the past,
or whether you’ve been flirting. Doesn’t matter if it’s someone you know
if it’s late, or if you’re drunk. Nobody has the right to touch you sexually
without your consent. So what can you do to play your part? The important thing is that we need
a cultural shift in attitudes, in the way that we perceive women,
and everybody can be a part of that. We can petition student unions and clubs to take a zero-tolerance policy
towards sexual harassment and groping. We can speak up about consent and try to offset some
of these normalized assumptions. We can support students
who are sexually assaulted to feel able to report it if they want to. We can all play a part
in influencing these social norms and the culture around us,
not letting the small stuff slide. Because it’s those minor incidents
that contribute to the same attitudes about women that lead
to the bigger issues happening. Calling women “sluts” and “slags,” giving them marks out of ten,
dehumanizes them. Joking about rape
and assault normalizes it. So we have to speak up, and our voices are loudest
when we raise them together. Thank you. (Applause)

Tagged : # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “Everyday sexism | Laura Bates | TEDxOxford”

  1. Do sexism exist?
    First, there is no such thing called sexism as such, it's ground of equality when applied to gender fails to explain anything. What expect you of men, and what expect you of women depends largely on other principles, beliefs, cultures, faith, and social conditions, but most of all on the individual choices.
    Second, feminist use the term sexism only to explain their individual misery, as they are extremely discontented from the lack of clean moral principles and clear thinking. Relate to justice the particular crime, and justice can be done, but not always. The world can be difficult irrespective of gender, only sane and wise advance.
    Third, in the process of nagging others to hear their misery, the feminist carried along with them all the gays, lesbians, trans, bisexuals, perverts (even maybe the pedophile, incest and bestiality, if the law says otherwise) to their cause, i.e., to fight for equality. Those who says they are wrong they called them sexist, homophobic, misogyny, (pedophobic, incesix, bestialiphic) etc.

    However, there is a gender difference, biologically, and that is a fact. The human race as a whole pursue life accordingly both respecting each other, caring, forgiving, and moving on. But say, the world is divided into two class, the rich and the poor. If someone is richer, you are poor. Therefore, have you to sought equality? And if you are richer than someone, are you the cause of inequality? It is the system, capitalist, really??? I am afraid, I will not buy communism even at this point. Does that make me communipobic? Do I have a communiphobia?
    With the ridiculous meaning of sexism, the feminist hurls their individual misery to me as the cause of their suffering, calling me with all the names. But, I forgive them, and I move on.

  2. Pls lady, most of the women love it,I'm not a rapists and will never be, but I'm telling you that most of the women love the rough sex and are crazy for it,i was in a party in my polytechnic years back were all the women in the party went wild for sex, women are no saints pls, they are not angels they got flesh and blood and got more sex hormone than men, know that, men are no animals,I'm tired of you women blaming men for what you want

  3. I really wish some guys would just stop being jerks to women. Thanks to all the men out there that are mistreating women, I now have to assure the girls I date that I am not a bad guy, but because of all the abuse they have suffered in the past it is difficult for them to trust me.
    If humans could just act civil then this world would be a much better place.

  4. I find it incredibly disgusting how many comments feature judgments against Ms. Bates for her talk, her dress, and her subject matter. However, I am not surprised. It figures that individuals who say these things will overlook a discussion regarding sexual abuse and discrimination in favor of talking about what Ms. Bates is wearing. You feel more comfortable discussing her wardrobe choices or labeling her as "whiny" instead of listening to her valid, well-formed points on sexism. But please, continue to prove her point. The prevalence of your misogynistic, hateful judgments only serves to solidify the point that sexism is in fact thriving in new ways through folks like you.

  5. Slimey little shit bags, they should have been lawyers, then we would know faster that they are sociopathic greed machines

  6. men have more testosterone on the average. it is going to factor in behavior along with other biological traits. until feminism can address this elephant in the room, the social construct theories will be laughed at.

  7. The Dood, stop projecting your bullshit claims on me. Never did I say huffingpost was a good resource. I simply said I'm not gonna help you asses your resources, go to uni if you wanma learn to do so. Honestly, I'm just gonna stop responding all together. Idiots like you aren't worth my time. It would take me another shitload of time to try and get through your thick empty skull. Go seek education. Honestly. For fuck's sake.

  8. Sexism doesn't exist in the west, go to sharia law countries if you really want to help your cause. Oh and remember to cover your head there or you might die.

  9. So, you whine endlessly about first world problems and infantilize women? Yep, that's third wave feminism for you.

  10. It's such a sad irony that the most comments against this ted talk, saying "what a bullshit, this is not true…. " are men.

  11. Ms Bates is very savvy in the way that she dresses. She is deliberately wearing non-provocative clothing so that guys can focus on her MESSAGE. Good job!

  12. Most men aren't afraid of these things because rape isn't engraved in their heads at such a young age, seriously when was the last time a boy was ever not allowed to go over to a friends house because their dad might be a creep; or walking in the street alone having to grip a make-shift weapon (Such as keys) worried that they are going to be dragged from behind them, raped and found dead in a ditch – or even just nervous walking through a large crowd of the opposite sex – then funny thing is this was taught to me as a child: "Pull down your skirt" "Run if a stranger is following you, scream if they grab you." Guys, I get it rape happens to both sexes okay, but the point is women being harassed is somehow becoming less and less of an issue that needs to be dealt and normality – The tangerine running the capital of the world seems to think grabbing a women's vagina is suddenly okay, that fucking terrifies me and these university students are the next generation to run the country and this is how they're treating half their population, thinking that a points system is okay to grade girls and brushing it off as 'locker room talk'

    Look real feminist appreciate the good men, men who disagree with misogynistic comments and don't defend these asshole's degrading women to nothing but objects.

    I think Alexis Jones sums it up best that, what if that girl was your sister the one that was, assaulted and raped by some guy looking to score points with the 'lads', your sister isn't any different to any other women because that other women is exactly like your sister, a sister that's looking for a laugh a fresher week yet, is somehow forced into showing her body to become some asshole's punchline.

  13. ok all u guys are starting too late in the game. The big issue is our over sexualisation in mainstream society and the fact that its going younger and younger and that its seen as a means to a end as either a method of marketing or as a status symbol or measure of success n perpetuated as normal is the big problem.

  14. Still waiting for one of them to talk about men. We don't complain when we have to buy girls stuff on dates and pay the bill at dinner. Sorry but feminism isn't just about women. It's about everyone. Stop complaining about the few imperfections. That's life, it's not perfect but it's ours.

  15. I Have no problem with feminism, I Have no problem with women, In fact Im male I Realize that their is little to none sexism(In the 1st world) Where as in the 3rd world sexism is everywhere,Back to 1st world feminists still like to try and get attention, Yes women are more vulnerable, But men are still held responsible for what other men do YES SOME MEN ARE TERRIBLE, YES SOME MEN RAPE, But why do feminists try and get mad at men in all, GET MAD AT THE BAD ONES, Dont say "men" say some men, YES in a males world being raped feels like its non existant, but it isnt. RAPE IS BAD, No-one wants to get raped,,No-one wants to be violated, and no-one wants to be blamed for what other men do, Their will always have bad men, their will also have bad women, Men are told when their young to keep their feelings to them selves, but women try and make themselves the victim, All im trying to say is stop worrying about just women, worry about both genders,(Triggered arnt ya i said "both genders' Informing their is 2 genders)
    I love women, I Respect them, Id do anything for them, I wont touch a women unless they tell me to, I wont force them into it, i wont egg them on, If they dont want it I know if they dont, infact im edgy if a girl feels uncomfortable around me, I want to make them not uncomfortable, Like i said, I would rather see equality, but we all know that will never happen, their will always be messed up people, Women already rule the world, they get accepted for their feelings they win instant attention when they claim they get raped,they win child support , where as men, arnt allowed to show emotion, they arnt able to win the acceptance over rape, Be like the ancient feminists, accept everyone, actually try and help everybody, not just urselves, Trying to blame men for ur problems GET THAT OUTTA HERE Blame urselves for not trying to help everybody, Yes their are some feminists that are accually good, I Like to call them 'Human Beings' They accept everyone, they fight for everyone, they want equality, Equality isnt just about men, isnt just about women, Its about everyone, 1st world to 3rd, they stop sexism everywhere, they Try not to get angry at "Men" The men their pursueing as bad they should call Terrorists, dont call the bad men 'Men' Because you make us men(Real humans) look bad for what others do, just calm urself and u'll be fine ;D Have a great day and realize this was made by a 11 year old, Bye -Cole Williams

  16. I can only hope that I never go to a university like that; I don't know what universities egg on atrocities like this, but if I end up in one, I'll try as hard as I can to not let the social pressure get to me…

  17. More than half of 'misogynistic' posts by Twitter users in the UK and America are written by women , according to a new large-scale study. A report that analysed 19 million tweets over four years found three million posts including insults aimed at women. The users who had posted the insults were more likely to be female than male.

  18. Good God!! That University should be held accountable for the deplorable treatment of young women in such events. If I was the parent of one of those students, I'd be furious.

  19. Jon Smith, when was the last time when a lady rubbed herself to you on public transport? the last time when someone just for joke grabbed your willie. last time when you worked hard on a project and when you wanted to hand over to your boss he said "dont think I will approve it just for the sake of your beautiful eyes"? I am waiting your stories…

  20. Oh sexism only applies to women but never the men? Oh right sexism to men is normalised and they have to grow some balls and man up. Why can’t women just grow some ovaries and woman up?

  21. Lol ok let's do away with the 'freshman' thing entirely and as a trade off we make the inclusion of feminism in english and philosophy courses optional

  22. The content of the talk was shocking, revolting, and more. Thank you, Laura Bates, and hope you live long, safe and well, and succeed in raising thus awareness.

  23. I fail to understand what the upside is for the young women who agree to participate in these events. Could someone possibly enlighten me?

  24. I'm shocked that these things happen in universities where kids are supposed to be educated. How is this education and why do universities even allow that?


  26. This honestly terrifies me. Especially since time at a university is supposed to be a fun time with positive and learning experiences. Even at my small school there were horror stories of girls being drugged at parties on campus. Want to claim that “not all men”? Then stand up, help where you see a problem. Don’t stand by.

  27. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and needs to be stopped! Men, if you know someone who is treating a woman like this then you need to stand up and report it or stand up and say something, it may even come to be violent but you have to do something instead of sitting in the corner with your mouths shut. Wome, if your university is known for acts of this kind then maybe you shouldnt go out to the parties on campus if you want to go out and relax go out to a piano bar or something like that with your friends. It is sad that it has come to this but you have to think more about protecting yourself than having fun, it is just how it goes these days. i have more to say but don't have the time to say it gotta go to work.

  28. I am so glad that I did not have to tolerate this when I was in University. I am disgusted by this, but I am grateful that Laura Bates is bringing this up front. I have brought this to the attention of my husband who is a prof at a Canadian University. Now that you have highlighted this, I certainly hope that all Universities become proactive in preventative work! Hopefully parents of university aged youth will comprehend that they need to be proactive in pressuring the universities to do better!

  29. I hate how half of the comments are men saying how they missed out on the ‘fun’ of harming women by going to a good school. Grow up. Glad to see that your education was not pointless at all.

  30. Geeks are powerful now? I grew up in the wrong era… Also, a lot of those Freshers events are sponsored by drinks companies, they're there simply to sell alcohol. When my daughter is university age I'm going to advise her to stay away from it all and get her some Mace.

  31. The situation is sad and I don't understand why sometimes women are alienated like we are some weird unreachable creatures.. I feel like fighting won't help though, anger only multiplies anger, but raising awareness could help. Educating kids to treat all girls and boys responsibly, maybe supporting friendships of opposite genders. Also movies nowadays are putting pressure stressing machism which makes the one that goes for a women as for a pray to be the real man or so..

  32. i feel that if men were treated how they treat women i.e men groping men in the streets they would change their attitudes towards assault.

  33. A goddess – brilliant, highly intelligent and extremely courageous human being. Thank you for your enormous courage, true personality and leading the path to justice and fairness. You rock.

  34. And I would have thought being a uni student in the UK was some kind of privilege and honorable.
    Shame on all the responsibile ones!!
    I am surprised that not many of these pigs get murdered!

  35. I was “bothered” once on a street and cornered by a stranger male who found it extremely funny to see me in tears (I just had had a fight with my boyfriend)… I knocked him down… I am sure he will think twice now before harassing women…
    We need to educate boys to respect women AND girls that they aren’t fragile and helpless little things. We should not expect respect we should be ready to take it when it is denied from us!

  36. It's sad how this is still happening but I'm glad that more people are becoming aware of the disguises via such events occur!

  37. women can say literaly what ever they want about a man and they want no sexism????
    woman can say there so oppresed but when a man tries to debate them…YOUR WHITE MALE PRIVILAGE IS IRRELIVANT… i only hope peoplecan read this comment and realize how corrupt and twisted and rascist and sexist feminism is

  38. finding it weird people are 'shocked' in the comments. Clearly haven't been listening to women in their lives

  39. Everything you're talking about comes from your fathers, brothers, uncles, and maybe boyfriends. Stop blaming all men.

  40. If you're trying to advocate for why secondary education should be free for girls but not boys, then you have done a good job of that, because I wouldn't want my future daughters to go through that, and if they had to, they should be paid, and if they can't be paid, they should receive something equal in compensation to pay, so until that is abolished, I think they shouldn't have to pay for school

  41. The marks out of 10 goes both ways though, if its an issue, no one mentioned it as being one before other than maybe as again a women's only issue, if we abolish it, OK, sure, but for all people, if we keep it, OK, but again, for both, if we want things to be equal, then I guess it should be as infrequently spoken outside of that which you say amongst your group of friends in confidence to the same level, or something like that

  42. Jesus Christ! Hearing this makes me glad I couldn't' afford to send my daughter off to college!! OMG!

  43. Everyday sexism is a huge contributor to the ongoing trauma many of the therapy participants I work with have. This can lead to problems including PTSD, severe social anxiety, and ongoing difficulty concentrating and speaking up in many different areas of their lives. This sort of everyday sexism contributes to why so many women don't live up to their dreams and potentials.

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