– (German accent) Ah,
every football game ever. I love the football. (flatly) Oh.
Oh, American football? This is… this is JOKE!!! (swearing in German) – (Ian) Every football game ever. – (announcer) And now it’s time
for everyone’s favorite: the kiss cam! – Oh. Oh. No thanks. – We’re not together. (nervous giggle) (spectators boo) – No! No! This is my actual wife. – Hello!
– My husband is literally right here. – (spectators) Do it! Do it! – Do it or we’ll f*cking kill you. – I’m sorry, honey. ♪ I have a sexy body ♪ (smooch)
(everyone cheers) – (Ian) Every futbol game ever. – (announcer) This just in: Michael Sam has made himself
the first openly gay player to enter the NFL draft. – (in disgust) UGH!
– Ew! – Screw that!
– Yeah, this sport ain’t for the gays! ♪ (steamy EDM music) ♪ – Yo, good game, bro. – (lisping) Football! – Yeah. Football’s
the straightest sport in the country! AMERICAAAA!!!
– Woo! – Ooh, right back at you, brotha. – (Ian) Every jockstrap ever. – (Anthony) Touchdowns in 1986. (spectators cheer) (gunfire and crazed laughter) – (Anthony) Touchdowns in 2016. (spectators cheer) – Touchdown! (blows whistle) That’s a fine! You’re out of the game for placing
the ball in my hand too hard. Hit the showers.
– (meekly) Okay. – (Ian) What’s a “Blue 42”? – (announcer) And now
for everyone’s favorite: the show-us-your-tits cam. (spectators cheer lewdly) – F*ck no. (all aww) – (Ian) Every questionable hot dog ever. – Great game, Pedro.
You just won the Superbowl! – I wanna thank God
and it was a great team effort. – So what happened on that last play? You seemed to hit your head
pretty hard on that last pass. – I just wanna thank God
and that was a… great team effort. – You think it was a concussion? Because if so that would’ve
been your fifth this year. – I just… wanna thank God… – So, as you can see,
all allegations for this league being lenient on head trauma
is completely false. Back to you, Brian! – (Ian) Every soccer– eh… (players grunt)
– OOOH! (laughing) Guys.
Why is this so warm? – ‘Cause we lost! – So we peed in it! – WE HATE YOU!!! – UHH, SO MUCH TESTOSTERONE! DAAAAHHHHH! – RAHH! – I f*cking hate football. – (Ian, slurring) Every football ever. – (announcer) And now
for my personal favorite: the concieve-a-child cam! – What? N-No way! (nervous chuckle) – I’m down.
– What?! Oh my god!
– Come on, be a man! – (announcer) Ooh, touchdown! – (Ian) Every football game ever. Hey, guys, thanks so much for subscribing. To see bloopers from this video
and a deleted scene about tailgating… – Who are you guys rooting for?
– Oh, no one! We’re just here to star gaze. – …click the video on the left. And to watch episode three
of our new series, Part Timers, click the video on the right. – [Inaudible] yes. ♪ (steamy music) ♪ – Are you getting the yes?
– Yes. – And if you have
a fancy touchscreen device, all the links are in the description below.

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “EVERY FOOTBALL GAME EVER”

  1. isn't football the game where there is a spherical ball and you kick it into the opposing team's goalpost? And isn't it a foul to hold the ball?

  2. Everytime they do something with Germans I have to laugh sooooo badly and by the way I'm from Germany😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️

  3. In American football is technically Rugby and it isn't football it is American football and don't call real football which you only use your feet soccer

  4. This is so stupid we don't slap each other's butt to be gay we do it to let the person know they did a good job and we're not like "gays can't play" nobody cares if people are gay and y'all don't know anything about football

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