– SOME PEOPLE REALLY ENJOY
THE HOLIDAYS. I’LL TELL YOU WHO DOESN’T:
STUDENTS. BECAUSE THEY GET STRESSED OUT.
MIDTERMS ARE HAPPENING. SO YOU KNOW ME,
I’M ALWAYS TRYING TO HELP. I ASKED THEM IF THEY SEND
ME THEIR HOMEWORK QUESTIONS, I’LL HELP ‘EM
‘CAUSE I HAVE A SEGMENT, HOMEWORKER HELPERER. – [singing]
A, B, C. EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE. AS SIMPLE AS DO, RE, MI. A, B, C. ONE, TWO, THREE. BABY, YOU AND ME, GIRL. EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE. AS SIMPLE AS DO, RE, MI. – NO, NO TIME. NO TIME FOR FUN.
RECESS IS OVER. HERE IS THE FIRST QUESTION
I RECEIVED. THIS IS FROM JARED ALTMARK
FROM MARGATE, FLORIDA. HE SAYS, “HI, ELLEN,
THIS WEEK WE HAD TO PICK A TOPIC “FOR A RESEARCH PAPER “WITH THE THEME
‘LEADERSHIP AND LEGACY.’ “YOU WERE MY FIRST CHOICE, “BUT AS SOON AS
I SAID YOUR NAME, “MY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID,
‘NOT RELEVANT.’ “CAN YOU PLEASE TELL HER WHY YOU SHOULD BE
THE TOPIC OF MY PAPER?” UNBELIEVABLE, HUH? I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
YOUR TEACHER’S NAME. ACTUALLY, NO, NO,
IT’S NOT RELEVANT. I DON’T NEED IT. [audience oohs] [cheers and applause] AND BY THE WAY,
I’M NOT RELEVANT, TEACHER WHATEVER-YOUR-NAME-IS? HOW ABOUT 34 MILLION
TWITTER FOLLOWERS AND, UH– [cheers and applause] ONE RIGHT THERE. AND 14 PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS,
HOW ‘BOUT THAT RIGHT THERE? [cheers and applause] 27 EMMY AWARDS,
HOW ‘BOUT THAT RIGHT THERE? [cheers and applause] AND TWO-TIME HOST
OF THE OSCARS. THAT RIGHT THERE. AND “PEOPLE MAGAZINE’S”
SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE FOUR YEARS AND COUNTING. [cheers and applause] NO. I–I MADE THAT LAST ONE UP,
BUT– BUT THERE ARE
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITH MY NAME
ON THEIR UNDERWEAR. SO TAKE THAT,
WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS. NEXT QUESTION. THE NEXT QUESTION
IS FROM ANNABELL KRANZ FROM CARMEL, INDIANA. “DEAR ELLEN, IN ALGEBRA
THEY ALWAYS GIVE US “THE EQUATION LIKE
‘Y=3/5X+7’ “AND THEN THEY ASK US
TO FIND THE ‘X’. “SO I CIRCLE THE ‘X’ AND I
WRITE ‘IT’S WRITE THERE.’ “AND I ALWAYS
GET THE QUESTION WRONG, AND I WAS WONDERING WHY.” VERY FUNNY, ANNABELL. LET’S TAKE A LOOK
AT WHAT’S WRONG. OKAY. ALL RIGHT,
YOU’RE SAYING THAT YOU’RE DOING
THE “Y=3/5X+7.” OKAY? ALL RIGHT,
WELL, THEN YOU SAY, “FIND THE ‘X.'” YOU CIRCLE THE “X”
RIGHT THERE, AND YOU SAY, “IT’S WRITE THERE.” OKAY. SO… WHAT YOU’RE DOING WRONG
IS OBVIOUS, BUT I’LL POINT IT OUT
ANYWAY. YOU ARE WRITING
THE WORD “WRITE” WRONG. YOU’RE SUPPOSED
TO SPELL IT “RIGHT.” AND THEN IF YOU DO THAT… [cheers and applause] ALL OF THOSE A’S
WILL COME ROLLING IN. NEXT QUESTION
IS FROM MADDIE HOOFORD FROM DALLAS, TEXAS. “DEAR ELLEN,
I AM A PRE-NURSING MAJOR. “I’M CURRENTLY TAKING
HUMAN ANATOMY. “IT’S THE HARDEST CLASS
I’VE EVER HAD TO TAKE. “I HAVE TO LABEL EVERY SINGLE
PART OF THE BODY, “INCLUDING THE VEINS
AND MUSCLES. “DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS
ON HOW TO MEMORIZE THE PARTS OF THE BODY?” MADDIE, VISUAL AIDS
HELP WITH MEMORIZATION, AND I’M GONNA
BRING OUT SOMEONE WHO IS TOO, TOO PRETTY
FOR COLLEGE. NICK, COME ON OUT HERE. [cheers and applause] HOW ARE YOU?
– GOOD. – NICK, I’M GLAD YOU’RE BACK. NICK WAS ACTUALLY– HE HAD A PART
IN “MAGIC MIKE 2.” YOU WERE SHOOTING
THE SEQUEL. – YEAH. [cheers and applause] – GOT YOU A PART IN THAT. YOU’RE WELCOME.
HOW’D THAT GO? – IT WAS AMAZING.
IT WAS A BLAST. – TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.
– UM… – WELL, WE DON’T HAVE TIME. UM, JUST LOSE THE SHIRT. I HAVE TO–
I HAVE TO, UM– [cheers and applause] MADDIE, THESE RIGHT HERE, THESE ARE ABDOMINAL MUSCLES. – RIGHT. – AND MOST PEOPLE HAVE SIX, BUT NICK HAS, LIKE, 12 OR 14
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. AND SHOW YOUR TRICEPS,
SHOW YOUR TRICEPS. – OKAY.
– OKAY, SEE THAT? [cheers and applause] YOU CAN–YOU CAN TRY
TO GET THEM, EXCEPT YOU WON’T. THESE OF COURSE ARE BOOBIES. [cheers and applause] AND–I’M KIDDING. THOSE ARE
NOT CALLED “BOOBIES.” I KNOW, THEY’RE CALLED
“PECTORUS RIDICULOUSNESS” IS WHAT IT’S CALLED. AND, UH, THIS LINE,
NO ONE HAS THAT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
THAT’S RIDIC– I GUESS IF YOU SPILL SOMETHING
IT JUST DRIPS DOWN. ALL RIGHT,
TURN AROUND, NICK. OKAY, AND, UH, THIS IS, UH– THIS IS SOME KIND
OF A NOTE TO ME OR SOMETHING. THESE ARE, UH–
THESE ARE DELTA BURKES. AND THEN, UM… THEN, UH… JUST LET EVERYBODY ENJOY
THIS PART OF YOU RIGHT NOW. [cheers and applause] THERE’S THAT PART. WHAT’S THAT?
THAT’S CALLED THE… [audience shouting] ALL OF THAT WOULD WORK. ALL RIGHT, MADDIE,
I HOPE THAT HELPS. IF ANYONE HAS
ANY HOMEWORK QUESTIONS, PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME,
AND I SEND YOU THIS DANCE.

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “Ellen’s Helping Out with Homework!”

  1. Ellen is meant to be a homosexual. However, she does find this attractive.

    It is difficult for women, like Ellen, who were molested, or hurt by men, to ever trust them properly again.

  2. I have a math question for all of you
    It’s pretty simple it’s only a grade 6 level
    5xzy+2x-z<25
    Another simple equation is
    f(x)=12x-4 (4)=x

  3. Ellen I have a question, there was this question on a test that said if you had 3 cookies and you have 4 freinds and you wanted to give each freind the same amount of cookies, then how many cookies would each person have. I said I would eat two and give the rest too my friends

  4. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon or any other male talk show host needs to have a female model strutting around half nude for the men to ogle and fawn at. It should be very interesting!

  5. 1:12–1:16.
    Now Ellen has 78.2 million twitter followers! More than instagram in which she has 75.7 million instagram followers

  6. 2014: nope

    2015: nah

    2016: no

    2017: not yet

    2018: almost there

    2019: let’s recommend this video to everybody on YouTube

  7. Leadership; Ellen leads us in the dance. Legacy; I think it will be to dance with life more lightly. Much easier that way.

  8. Just curious Ellen, if a male hosted show did the same skit, but using a woman, how fast would the episode get band, the host fired, and the hoard of sjw’s that would March and call for the decapitated head of the host???????

  9. Nothing like women sexualising men on live TV and then going on social media and complaining about women being sexualised.

  10. Well NOW we know where those 30milion twitter folowers came from….shame on you Ellen, shame.
    Also, try striping a female and showcase her bodyparts like that, as a male host, you would be ripped apart by the public !

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