You don’t post very often cos,
whenever you do post, my little timeline goes, “Sarah’s
posted for the first time in a
while.” “Time in a while!” One of my first experiences
at the cinema was my mum took me to watch Jurassic Park. Yeah. She made some, like, deep-fried,
mackerel curried fillet things… Yeah. ..and she put them in…
For the cinema? Yeah. To eat around other people?! Yes. So, we go and sit in the cinema,
right? Yeah. And we’re the only
Asians in the theatre. And then she opens what is
essentially a chemical weapon. Yeah! Yeah. Smelly mackerel. They look across and there’s three
Asian people that have brought their own snacks – it’s not like the
cinema doesn’t provide… No, no. ..facilities for you to buy food. But I was conflicted cos I thought,
“Mum’s gone to a lot of trouble.” Of course, yeah. Do you know what I
mean? It’s not… I think… Mackerel doesn’t curry
and fry itself. Yeah. I mean, it was
unbelievable. Yeah. Well, you know I’ve got
a big mouth. Yeah. Like, don’t ever tell me anything.
I do. I… I know. Yeah, yeah. Awful. Right, so, so…
So indiscreet. I was worse at school. Right. I remember, there
was a girl who punched me and I deserved it, because…
What had you done? I told a guy,
“She’s having an abortion,” and she was back like two hours
later, so I now know she definitely wasn’t having
an abortion. She said I was lying
and then she said, “I’m going to kick her head in.” What happened was,
then a guy tricked me. Now, I didn’t kiss anyone till
I was 16… Yeah. Of course not. ..but this… Why would you? ..this guy, he pretended he wanted
to kiss me on the tennis courts. Everyone was there
and Jordana punched me. What a horrible bait. Yeah. It’s a kind of bullying,
where a boy pretends to like you, then I’d start to go, “Maybe
he does.” And then he’d be like, “Ugh, why would I like you?! “You’re so disgusting, you’re…”
So I knew… Oh, God! I know!
This is so horrible! Is it really? I…
This is so horrible! I think young people are
really mean. Um, my worst job… OK. What’s
yours? ..was Sainsbury’s. Oh, yeah. So… I worked at Tesco.
Right. So… Mmm. ..there was a new
Sainsbury’s opening… Yeah. Where was this, Crawley?
Horsham. Horsham! Posh! So I thought, “It’s outside my
manor…” Yeah. “..cos I live in
Crawley.” Yeah. When I went for the interview, um,
I was like 17… Mmm. ..the woman spent the whole
interview telling me how I could have surgery to have
my eye corrected, if I wanted to. That’s ALL she talked about
during the whole interview. She’d ask me, like, “What
are your strengths? I’d say, “Punctual, blah, blah, blah,” and she’d go, “You could have
that… It’s very easy to have that
sorted out.” And I went, “Right.” And then she’d
ask me another question, and I’d reply with the answer
and she’d go, “It’s so simple.” Like, that was, the whole
interview was that. Yeah. Cos what I felt
like saying to her was, “Do I need to have the surgery…?”
“To get the job?” Yeah. “Are you trying to hint now?” Yeah. “Come back when
you’ve got that sorted.” Because I’m not willing to have
surgery… Yeah. ..to work at
Horsham Sainsbury’s… No. ..if that’s what you’re getting at. My thing was that
I wanted to be an actor. I said things like, “I’m going to
have my first Oscar at 22 “and I’m not going to thank
this school.” Like, I was so arrogant and… Did you say that out loud to other
kids? Everyone! Oh, my God! And, also, but how great’s this?
“You’ll regret this when I’m on
telly.” Did you say that?!
All the time, to everyone. I practised, I came up with a
signature. They’re regretting it now,
aren’t they? Well, they are just going, like, like, “How?”
Like, “How did that happen?!” I, when I was 15, developed
a signature that was quick, but had a star in it for
when I was doing autographs, and I still use that signature. No, you don’t. I do book
signings, like, “Ugh!” People go, “That’s a funny…
It’s got a star on it,” and I think, “Yes,
cos I was an arrogant twat.” I, honestly, I believed if you just
wanted it enough it would happen and it did, and sometimes
it makes me feel mad.

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Dennis Veasley

63 thoughts on “Being Punched At School | Romesh Talks To Sara Pascoe”

  1. Look at this guy speaking english with british accent and dressed nice. Something similar to Iggy Azalea pretending to be a rapper

  2. Mackerel doesn't curry and fry itself because they're animals that want to live like any other. Romesh is a vegan now though so I imagine he agrees. Fish think and feel like any other creature, like us.

  3. "You'll be regretting this when I'm on telly" "Well they are now" "And they're just going like how?" Well it could be because you're talented at making people laugh or because you happened to come along at a time when the schedules are being filled up with unfunny people to balance gender inequality in tv comedy.

  4. “I’m not willing to have surgery to work at Horsham Sainsbury’s, if that’s what your getting at.” 😂

  5. I like Romesh's eye, I mean he always looks somewhat sarcastic but he kind of is always somewhat sarcastic, but I think it's a good distinguishing characteristic. If it doesn't bother him, I'm glad he has the confidence to resist any pressure to get it altered.

  6. FFS! Disgusting owmen changing shitty nappy on the table. Kick her out! No ownder people hate British food and British cafes.

  7. To be fair to Sarah about the signature thing, I'm 23 years old, I still use the same signature that I made when I was 12. Probably will be my signature for life. It doesn't have a star on it but it doesn't matter what age you are, if a signature wins it fuckin wins hahaha I even remember drafting out different versions XD I'm a musician who's still yet to make it but when I was a kid I was bare like "better prepare myself for 11 years time when I'll be signing more shit that shoddy christmas and birthday cards" hahaha

  8. Arrogant twat.. I keep thinking to call someone that, might be, a kind of OK thing to do.. as long as your in bed with them.. it puts a very different spin on love making.

  9. Did we just speed past the baby changing … the whole lot of dreads on the table… 🤦🏾‍♀️😂😂😂☠️☠️

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