(Hi!) Hello DanandPhilGAMES golf clubs! P: *imitates golf swish* D: Golf clubs? That’s not the most inventive thing you could say P: Well, what could I have done? Tees? Uh, cardigans? D: Pitches.. D: Pa– Caddylads. P: Caddylads? D: *laughs* I don’t know what I’m doing. P: And welcome to… Both: Golf With Friends! P: Which I thought sounded like the most boring thing ever, but loads of people have been requesting it. And it’s not actually about golf. D: It’s not like, one of those serious Tiger Woods *low robotic voice* realistic golf simulator P: It is about crazy golf! D: Crazy golf! P: Which is my favorite kind of golf P: You know in my family they called me “Tiger Lester” when we played crazy golf. D: Did they actually?! P: Yeah! They did! (D: Really? Really?) (P: They did, I’m so good at it) D: Well all that says is your family needs to get some culture and stop going on holiday to Orlando every year P: Orlando is the place of dreams! P: Also in America you may call it *bad American accent* mini golf D: Depending on how crazy it is P: Yeah. It’s pretty crazy though D: *chuckle* P: So today, because I’m so good at it, I thought we could do a *explosions* *undecipherable language* Dan versus Phil. D: *blows raspberry* D: *battle cry?* P: *points dramatically* And looking at your side of the board, you’ve done the same things I did in my university essays (D: so full right now) P: where you’ve spread it out P: You’ve used a double word spacing. D: I’ve been like D: font 11.5, (P: Yeah!) double space, (P: What is this?) here’s my ten page essay P: Well I’ve neatly tetrised them all in to make it all nice D: *Whale Noise* P: You’re only one ahead, Don’t let him fool you… (D: Well, “Tiger Lester”…)P: With that large…thing D: I think we’re all expecting great things from you. D: What are we playing for- (P: Well-) what the frick is that P: We are playing for this! *dramatic music* P: bum bu du dum D: I’m scared P: Yea it looks like it wants to drink your soul and eat your children. D: What did you search to find that? P: I *laughs* I searched happy golf ball D: Happy golf ball. P: *cartoony evil laugh* P: And not just that! We also have (D: [muttering] Jesus-) golf hats! D: What the he- those aren’t golf hats, (P: I’ve been so excited) those are like hats of golf (P: about this) D: We’re just the epitome of style right now, look at this WOO P: WOO P: Yours is all flat and mine is like a waterlogged pitch P: If you don’t know in golf you play for the lowest score possible (D: Wow, like my life) P: So the lowest amount of hits that your balls- in the holes, and before that our favourite part of any game – CUSTOMIZING YOUR BALLS D: Sign me the frick up, how can we do this? P: I’ll go first P: Go to customize (D: Right. Ooo, sliders) and I’m gonna have the brightest one possible (D: Okay- Ooo, red) because I don’t want to lose it (D: I don’t think that’s you, Phil) P: Wait wait wait D: Nah, you need to- you need to (P: Drop the red) drag that green one up P: aaah (D: ooh) P: oh- oh- (D: ooh) that is arousing me, there D: Wait a minute, down a bit, down a bit, down-yES that’s like your pastel gradient P: That is me! P: That is me in ball form (D: That is such a Phil ball form) P: Alright do yours. *sarcastically* I wonder what’s gonna happen now with Dan’s D: Oh, well, let’s see. Customized, we’ll just drag that down, (P: come on shock us all, Dan) drag that down, and drag that down. D: There we go! D: WOO! P: That is the saddest (D: GOLF!) golf ball I’ve ever seen (D: I relate) D: K, let’s do this, Phil P: Okay D: I have no idea how this game works D: or what I’m about to do P: Me neither, really! (D: But let’s see) D: Ok, here we are (P: Ooof!) our two little balls next to each other D: psyching (P: *chuckle* psyching each other out) each other out P: So we can do Forest, (D: Mhm, classic) P: *suave voice* Oasis, (D: interesting hmm) ooh P: *singing* da da da da da da da P: uh, Twilight! (D: bruh- ) Is Edward Cullen gonna climb out of the golf course (D: bruh, that’s ) and bite your ball? D: It looks more neon P: Yep D: looks like Riverdale P: Haunted (D: ooh spooked good) P: *high pitched* Candyland! (D: *barfs* D: Pastel Dan and Phil (P: Yeah) will be playing golf there P: Had enough of them D: Mmm P: I think we should just (D: Let’s start with the classic Forest) start with the classic Forest P: and if people enjoy this we can try the other ones D: Yes, let’s take it easy because we don’t know how terrible we are. YET, so P: Ok D: Right P: Let’s do this D: Let’s guuuu (“go”) D: Leeet’s golf! D: Boooom *Phil sings the impossible quiz theme tune that will haunt us forever* D: *realizes* N-no, Phil, Phil that (P: Oh, no. It’s still in my head!) song is banned forever D: banned literally forever D: This looks calming! P: Oh, nice! D: I could get behind this P: I’d be a bit afraid of bears that want to eat me. D: Totally P: What is your ball doing?! D: Woooow D: Get a room, balls P: Oh, it’s got- it’s inside mine D: my one is like (P: what is going on) chilling. Yours is like nooo D: maybe the blackness of mine is just too much to handle P: You’re infecting me D: Uh, right so, um, we don’t seem to be a person (P: no) D: or a golf club of any kind, just a ball P: Yeah. Having a look around, how pleasant! P: So, who’s gonna go first? D: You can go first P: Alright D: Alright, here we go D: Ohh, so this is your power meter, (P: You drag. You click and drag) okay. Now, aim P: I can see it there and I don’t think it needs that much power D: Phil is aiming right down the crack Both: here we go P: Smack! D: First shot of the day boom diddly omm (P: Come on! Come on!!) D: That was pretty good (P: Yeah, that was pretty good!) D: Okay D: I can get behind that, right D: Me, now D: I’m gonna use a bit more power than you P: th-that means you got inspired (D: BAM!) by what I did (D: BAM!) D: nOOOO. FRICK D: God, that was terrible! I blame the butterfly entirely! P: Alright (D: no) P: straight into the hole for Philly P: here we go P: OH! D: How did you mess that up? P: I don’t know! D: Oi (P: I didn’t need that much power) mate, mate, my go (P: alright) D: a bit less pow- D: Butterfly, (P: Smack the butterfly in the teeth) get out of my life D: wait wait wait OOOOOoooO0000p prepare yourself P: This is the one D: Is it? P: This is the ultimate shot P: Yes! D: “Bogey” (P: A Bogey!) What does that mean? D: Y’know something- Hang down, Phil, you need to control it P: *bad American accent* it’s a booger D: My power bar is black, I can get behind this D: Yes! *claps* Alright! P: Three all D: 3-3 oooh, “Tiger” (P: ooh *chuckle*) more like boring cat, am I right? P: hey! D: woOoOOoO P: Oh, this one is a bit wobbly P: I like a good wobbly vibe. I’m gonna go for it P: No- You go first this time! D: Do I have to? (P: yes) Oh, god (P: then I can learn from your mistakes) I dont know what to expect D: Right here we go. Zen, calm (P: hoo) I’m thinking about th-the- D: What’s the maths about shapes called? P:uhhh- D: geo- P: trigonometry D: Nope, that’s specifically triangles P: Algebra! D: Here we go! D: oh bit- P: NO! D: Just call me Dan, (P: what?!) t-the Cat Lord, never mind “tiger” P: Dan, the golden lion D: just call me Lion Forest P: *laughs* don’t distract me! (D: I’m helping. I’m helping you) No, smack! P: Ohhhh, come one, Jemima! P: Yes! P: Now, I get to swing my ball around D: Who or what is “Jemima”? P: I don’t know, but she helped me out (D: ok, this is tense) P: oh my god D: OH SHIT (P: What the hell is that?) shit just got real D: This is dramatic D: I don’t know what is happening; I’m scared D: Right, you first P: ok P: Watch out, lads D: Are you going to aim for the hole P: I don’t know! D: Or is the hole not the goal P: I-I think the hole is over a river or something, so I’m gonna not aim for the hole D: Phil is not aiming for the hole, people (P: woOP) ok P: aw I should have aimed for it (D: what was it?) P: I think there’s like a contraption or something that’ll send you over there (D: ooh right here we go) (P: noo) D: time for Danny to put it right in there P: Go on D: Ok I need to wait for the exact timing (P: NOW) this needs to be perfect P: BAM (P: slam) D: You shut up! right here we go P: Right this is it P: Sneaky Phil coming around the corner (D: this is just so refined(?)) P: Oh my god oh my god oh my god no P: Come on. P: come on! P: COME ON! P: nOOOOO! D: not today, (P: it is curved down though) loser alright here we go D: ultimate physics plan, bang bang biddly do P: aw knock mine in too *phil makes a strange purring noise lmao wtf* P: that was kind of sexy wasn’t it when it span around D: king of maths and calculations P: here we go, here we go! (D: nice to meet you) bink! D: that was pleasant (P: bogey) P: yeah in English a bogey is a booger P: one of the slight differences D: oooOOOOH six-seven to dan! P: shush! D: what the fruck is this! D: what is that! P: did you just say fruck D: there is no golf course that could actually des- that looks terrifying! P: that looks like it would kill a child D: if you did that in Florida you would be dead right now ok so I’m so tempt- ok im just gonna do this right D: climb up the gol- oooH smacked back that was traumatic P: Alright children. D: I thought I could like ride it into the sky. P: This is my chance. (D: *chuckle*) D: I wonder if there’s collision on our balls. P: SMACK! P: Come on. D: OHHHHH! That was so close. P: Oh! (D: Wait wait wait wait wait) P: Oh I can taste it! P: I can taste it! (D: *chuckle*) Nooo. D: And the chicken nugg was taken away from Phil’s mouth. P: The chicken nugg? D: Bam! P: What the Hell? D: B- nope, shitty motherfluffer.. D: Too powerful D: Literally bounced out of the hole. D: *low ogre voice* I’m too powerful! P: Alright, watch and learn, Danny boy. D: *chuckles* P: Bink! P: Par D: I think we all agree; Phil’s golf banter needs to be stopped. P: Hey, it’s how I win. P: Par means I did it how they- D: Sh- what the fuck was that?! D: Screw you. P: Go on. Both: Double bogey! D: *pretends to pull boogers out of his nose* P: What was I saying? Par means that I got it in the allotted thing that your meant to get it in, in. D: I have no idea what all these terms mean. It’s like when I’m watching tennis and they made a hard double love. P: Yeah. D: It’s like what the fuck does that mean, are they gonna make out? P: Don’t get me started on tennis (D: Sure) it makes no sense. P: Who’s going first now? D: *singing* Hole five, yooouuuu (P: Is it me?) yeah! P: Okay. D: Odd means you go first (P: Right.) because you’re odd. P: Ha! P: I also have a fondness for odd numbers (D: Do ya, okay.) Yeah, that’s why I like 2017. It’s got a nice vibe. D: Yeah, much better than 2016 (P: Yeah) feels quite futuristic. D: M’kay (P: Power.) You’ve got to go round the corner, Phil. P: What would Kanye West do? I think he would bounce off there, with a lot of power. D: And then go on a four half hour rant to (something? idk what he said there) (P: yeah) P: SPIK P: OOH (D: OOOHhhh) P: Ohhhhhhh D: They called you “nearly but not quite” Phil! (P: oof) D: When everybody finishes their f-rounds,(P: *chuckles*) and goes to the golf club, and has a beer, and complains about all of the people that are just using their memberships to socialize in the golf club and they’re not actually playing golf (P: What are you talking about?) they’re just there for the bar! D: They’re all saying, “Phil, the not-quite-there guy.” P: Well, go on be the “quite there” guy! Let’s see it, Dan! D: I will! P: Bring it! D:Are you ready? P: BRING IT! P: BRING IT! D: *singing* boom boom boom lemme hear you say way-o f*ck f*ck D: WAIT! (P: *laughing*)OK HERE WE GO! P: OH! IT’S GOING! D: *singing* The power of- *starts trying to blow the ball into the hole* D: *failing* D: SHIT! P: I’ve actually blown the ball in a golf club P: ……and that’s not cheating D: Cheating P: It’s not cheating. D: See we love mini golf, cause it’s just kinda cute and quaint, and it doesn’t really (P:KABLAM!) matter. D: Do you have ANY interest in “big boy” golf? P: No! (D: No.) Looks like you just gotta drag a thing around with you, unless you get someone to drag it for you, and then that’s a bit like, uhh…it’s a bit awkward. D: I’m in it for the whole kink of somebody cute, carrying your things But, other than that I just… it just seems like exercise. P: And its sort of like you just WHACK and see what happens D: Bit too formal (P: Yeah) yeah, Phil doesn’t like to whack it and see what happens (P: no) like the plan hes whacking. P: I like to plan a whack. D: Right! (P: How are we doing?) 11-12 P: OH! (D: shoot) P: Oh no, that’s good for me! D: yep, it is, (P: alright!) that’s how golf works. (P: alright, ok!) P: Here we go. D: Im finding this video quite refined and relaxing and funny at the same time. D: I hope- like, use this as an excuse to- pour yourself some sparking water and just go ‘mm, yes, today I am watching some golf commentary. P: Yes lets do it (D: *sips sparking water) how intellectual. P: Oh, even Oh no I’ve pr- I’ve already pressed the mouse P: I”m just gonna hold my mouse (D: No, I can go, I can go.) Go! D: Right, here we go D: It looks like it’s just a straight line P: Oh, it’s not gonna be a straight line, is it D: Bu– NOOO *Phil laughs* That’s so unfair that I went first P: Now I know the river’s there! P: Come on……. P: Gladus! P: Ooh! *Dan laughs and claps* D: I was holding my breath, like, “He’s gonna do it, I can’t believe he’s gonna do it.” P: Oh my god remember in Florida when you actually knocked it into the river and had to go wade into the water (D: I went on like an epic quest to go get it) D: It was amazing (P: It was so funny.) D: Alright alright, how much power did you use? P: I’m not telling you! D: Alright here we go, I think this should (P: Less!) clear it… D: YE– P: WHAT? D: That didn’t even bounce back P: That was… D: That was STRAIGHT in the hole. P: That was so satisfying. D: Damn, that’s like *holds up 4 fingers* 100% chance of pregnancy P: Right, what are you talking about D: Good swimmers. P: Go! D: Oh, Phil. P: Oh, oh oh oh oh ohh hh D: *waggles finger* The line wasn’t straight! P: NOOOO D: No hole in one for you, mate. P: This is a hole in one D: Well, no I mean like whatever you do now it’s gonna be two P: It’s a bogey D: Oooh D: Back to being 14! P: 14 all! 14 all! We’re fine. P: We’re fine! D: I like that it’s called “Golf with Friends” P: Yeah *laughs* D: Really it’s just “Golf with FRIEND”. D: Because there’s no one else. P: Yep. *silence* D: What is this? P: That– D: Firstly, that butterfly is flying backwards P: He needs to stop. D: That butterfly… D: Now it’s flying forwards.

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Dennis Veasley

100 thoughts on “BATTLE OF THE BALLS – Dan vs. Phil: Golf With Friends”

  1. Phil: Remember in Florida when you actually knocked it into the river and had to go get it?
    Dan: I went on a whole epic quest! It was awesome!
    Me: can you guys BE any more married?

  2. I love the difference between these two quiet British boys playing GWF and three loud Americans with a very loud Irish man playing GWF. And I really love that I appreciate opposite ends of the spectrum.

  3. I just watched Dan’s video and I literally just realized how much I missed watching their gaming video, so here I am😂💕

  4. I showed my friend a picture of one of your titles “Two sandy balls” and she set that as my nickname on Snapchat…😂👏

  5. Every time phil says "c'mon cletus" I remember that one part it trail to Oregon when Corey goes "my names cletus Jones and I've killed 3 👌 people"

  6. so um i’ve been watching dan and phil for multiple years now and i’ve been on the same swim team since i was seven and idk why but i JUST realized when dan said “54, 61” in a heavy british accent that they sound just alike and i can’t decide if i love it or hate it.

  7. Dear Danandphilgames I Love Your Gamimg Channel You Are The a Best Youtuber I Love You Dampnandphilgames Keep Your Channel Going Your Are The Best

  8. someday, at one of my golf tournaments or golf meets, i'm going to wear that hat and see how people react.

  9. I love how Dan can't help but give Phil advice and anytime Dan asks something Phil refuses to tell him. Lol

  10. Dan: The power of violently blows air
    Me: ~It’s the power of blowing~
    My friend: looks at me in utter disappointment

  11. Okay so I had a thought while watching this: a drinking game but every time dan says “right” you have to take a shot

  12. Am I the only one who actually poured sparkling water and when my parents asked what I was watching, I said I was watching golf commentary 😂😂😂

  13. me: is taking a break from watching mark play golf with friends because all it was, was a bunch of screaming
    dan and phil: plays golf with friends
    me: is having a good time until i remember dan is an actual crakhead that screams on the daily

  14. Who is dan and what has he done with the dirty minded person we know and love
    He said so many innuendos and he didn't pick up on what he said and Phil said even more I am in hysterics laughing 🤣🤣🤣

  15. We are playing golf in high school rn and 😂 I’m reminiscing on these videos to see if I can name the golf vocab, I’m technically studying for my golf quiz 😂

  16. I went to play mini golf once my sister fell in one of the little ponds and it was hot I lost…..This is a reason why you should never leave your house

  17. yeet i'm back watching this and
    is phil humming the Desert island (croc legend of the gobbos amirite) world song when he goes to the oasis world? 2:50

  18. 7:30 Dan: "I wonder if there's collision between our balls"
    Thanks, now all I can think about is their balls colliding!

  19. 21:55






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