Jim, I want to talk
about masturbation. Now, I just want you to know that
it’s-it’s a perfectly normal, uh, thing. And I have
to admit, uh, you know. I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger. – I, uh… I used to call it
“stroking the salami.”
– [Groans] Yeah, you know,
“pounding the ol’ pud.” I never did it
with baked goods. But you know your Uncle Mort?
He “pinched the one-eyed snake”
five, six times a day. See, it’s like, uh,
practice for the big game. You see?
It’s like… It’s like… banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall. Which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it’s not a game. – Right. No.
– It’s not a game. What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball. – Do you want a partner?
– Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner. – You do want a partner?
– Oh, I want a partner. – Want a partner. Good. Good.
– Of course. Good. So, once Hal becomes king,
he has to take on… the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back… on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.

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Dennis Veasley

76 thoughts on “American Pie (7/12) Movie CLIP – Jim Wants a Partner (1999) HD”

  1. Oh yeah, they were the best, especially in the first movie ha ha. He's such a cool father too LOL.
    I'm so happy American Reunion wasn't a flop like American Wedding was. I actually liked it as much as the first & second movie.

  2. 1:13 I'm surprised nobody has ever commented on that goofy looking family portrait where they're all looking in the WRONG direction

  3. This movie is classic lol dad can be cool too rhodes days has anyone had a dad or mom talk sex with u ur the son or daughter?

  4. I was around 12 years old when I saw this movie come out, I had no idea what any of this meant. 12 more years from then I I am still enjoying this movie

  5. Clips such as this make Youtube brilliant. I normally chuckle very hard. However most everyday people are bit by bit KILLING their pet dogs – without noticing it! The stuff which they put into pet food triggers cancerous cells and makes dogs pass away early..

    If you have a dog and you want to help save its life then it’s essential to look at Double Life Dog Diet (Use Google.)

    I’m so grateful I uncovered it.

  6. Masturbation is the main cause of the FRIENDZONE. often attracts bad behavior from others. Sometimes, it "damages" you socially, and "blocks" access to the opposite sex and some people. It can make you vulnerable to many addictions. It can also lower the amount of pleasure you feel in your everyday life. It can also make your intellectual faculties weaker. It can also "remove" your beauty, charm and grace in movement.

  7. Masturbation darkens the face, makes the eyes less pure, weakens the personality and the intellect, makes one feel less emotions, removes the charm and the grace in movement, and makes one's body send less pheromones that ATTRACT THE OPPOSITE SEX. If the eyes become less pure, one will be attracted to bad quality pictures, people with bad skin, who sometimes have bad behavior.

  8. Critics really hated this film and basically thought it was all fart jokes and boobs for immature audiences. But it's really not – it is a fantastic and really cleverly made comedy. Brilliantly acted in parts, utterly hilarious and utterly memorable. And for all the humour, the boys grow up and stop being so dedicated to just getting laid: Oz falls in love, Kevin starts to be a considerate boyfriend, Jim declares at the end that although he hasn't had it – he hates the whole obsession with sex and Finch….well, he's the exception. For a comedy that is famously about the joy of sex, the message at the end is that it's not the most important thing in the world – that it contributes to happiness but it's not the be-all and end all of everything. And an awesome soundtrack. I liked the second one, the third had its moments but ultimately had less thought put into it; reunion was really good.

  9. If I'm gonna be a dad. I'll be one like Jim's. He's way too cool. And for a frustrated son like that, he is the perfect dad for the job. 😂😂😂😂

  10. Good god, this sounds so much like the first time my old man tried to explain sex to me. So awkward and embarrassing experience.

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